Have you ever had a movie franchise that appealed to you crash and burn? Something that had 1, 2, or even 3 good outings before the world was treated to a hot pile of garbage that brought it to a swift and unsatisfying end? Sadly, us too, and it’s much more common than we thought! For our final outing in our Movie Superlatives franchise we had to hand out our five fundamental somethings on Movies that killed their respective franchises! Who was the best hero in a death knell movie? What was the best cliffhanger that left us wanting more with nothing to show for it? What’s the best reboot or franchise? We dive into the superlatives and sucklatives of all things franchise killing with some answers that may surprise (No MCU stanning here!) if you enjoy the superlatives series, check out our numerous past episodes covering pretty much every type of movie.
Full Episode Transcript Available Below:
Hello, and welcome to the penultimate episode of a podcast about something where each week we dive deep into whatever it is we find interesting. I’m your host, Calvin, and joining me from the edge of a cinematic universe. It’s your co host, Nick Richardson.
I’m from the outside looking in, and it’s not looking good.
As we said, this is our penultimate episode of a podcast about something the second to last one. Next week will be the grand finale of all grand finales of podcast about something. And being our second last episode, it is also our final movie superlatives episode.
A lot of these we’ve done a shitload and I love like 99% of them.
Well, which ones Didn’t you like?
I just don’t give anything 100% Calvin.
We started moving superlatives back in August of 2018, and have done one a month since then. So there are a lot to fall back on. And what movie superlatives is, is a monthly series where we take a different different type of movie, and give out some made up awards to these movies that fall under that umbrella of whatever the type is. We’ve done things like road trip movies, time travel movies, kung fu movies, Will Ferrell movies, so sometimes we get really, you know, into the nitty gritty of it, sometimes it’s a little bit broader. And we’ve done a lot to go back and check you can find one every four or five episodes. In the back catalogue, there is an episode of Movie superlatives. If you like movies, any like what we do with this one, I highly suggest you go back and check out some of the old ones. But we give out five different awards. And we can’t give more than one movie, multiple awards, and we can’t give multiple awards to the same movie. If that makes sense. Makes perfect sense. I said it perfectly one time and then I forgot how gentlemanly over so what is that two years that’s 12 months 24 months and another four months? Five months? So 29 of these episodes, I have gotten the the outline of what how we give the awards out. I’ve gotten it perfectly right one time, so that’s good. Good shooting percentage.
You’re shooting ridiculously well.
Some drew holiday stuff right there. Shaq at the foul line stuff right shout out Milwaukee Bucks. NBA champions.
Yeah. Okie dokie. No kidding. So
for for this final movie superlatives episode, we are doing franchise killing movies. So these are any movies that cause the, at the time contemporary rendition of any franchise to die. Whether they just decided, Okay, we’ve killed this and we need to start over we need to reboot. Or if you know, they ended at the top of their game. Either way. The franchise ended, for some reason. It’s over. Oh, and so there’ll be no Fast and Furious. No. MCU those things are still going strong.
They’re hot right now. Yeah, I mean, they’re family tails if you know, I mean.
I did put the qualifier in the notes. I hope you noticed this, that each Star Wars trilogy counts as its own franchise because each one kind of technically ended and we never needed another phase to validate the previous one. Each one kind of feels like its own contained story. But also part of the bigger thing.
Yeah, George Lucas, and Disney fucker. I mean, I’m
glad we have more, but we didn’t we never need it anymore. You know?
I’m glad for like 18 minutes of the other movies that we got.
Well, we’ll get there when we get there. And we’re gonna stay away from the MCU because that definitely has not died. I mean, you could maybe say like the Iron Man franchise within the MCU is dead. But we also just did an MCU Episode Two weeks ago. So if you want our takes on the MCU go listen to that. Also hot episode. Yeah, very good. ponsel so hot right now. So hot. Remember Oh, the VCR kids did an episode on Zoo lander a couple weeks ago I got it stuck back in my head. So the business loves the lander to lead or to not so much killed the franchise. never watched it. Never watch the lander to or Zoo lander want Zoo lander to come out later? What is iconic
a piece of shit Do you think I am.
So like I said, we give out five awards and we give out the best and worst version of each award. So the best version is called the superlative and we call the worst four The sucker dives and we are giving out the best and worst franchise hero, the best and worst reboot, the best and worst overall franchise. The best and worst cliffhanger for a sequel that never came a lot of these franchises, they die, but they think they’re going to get another SQL and the sequel never actually happens because it ended up actually being shitty, or the audience didn’t like it. So they moved on and did something else. And the final category is the best and worst franchise ending. And again, that’s whether they just cut it off early or they actually brought it to a good close sort of thing. Yeah. So let’s do you have anything to say about your feelings on movies that kill franchises before we get into the awards? Really?
The fact that most of the time it’s it’s studio meddling, so I try not to hold it against a lot of these movies, but it’s really fucking hard sometimes.
Yeah, I mean, some movies are also just bad, fucking terrible. And some franchises need to die, you know, and they just don’t know. So Alright, before before you continue with your last homelessness, move on to our best franchise heroes. They have to be at least featured in the movie that killed the franchise to be considered here. So who is your best franchise hero?
This was super easy. Spider Man.
Yeah, I have the same thing. So Peter Parker Spider Man Form, Cora. I have the Raimi trilogy.
Yep. 100% The third installment, man that
I had such good qualities. I’m not I’m not here to denigrate Spider Man three.
I could name like 50 but hit me with just one. Let me think here. The the way. No, no, no, I’m trying to figure out the way to say it the way Mary Jane feels kind of brushed aside by Peter. Because people are finally liking Spider Man in her careers kind of going down the toilet. I thought they portrayed that very well. And how like Spider Man has taken him over and he’s kind of forgot what’s important a little bit. That’s very good. to slap the
shit out of her to house. Not good.
Well, yeah. As the symbiote though, we’re gonna blame that on the symbiote.
We’ll blame it on the CBOT.
I mean, dancing Peter Parker. It’s rough, but there’s an argument to be made for it. I can make that argument if I need to. I’m not I don’t feel like I need to. I feel like I made it when we did a spider man episode sometime in the past.
I recently had this this argument with a co worker and it boiled down to I get what they’re trying to portray. It’s just stupid.
So for the listeners, you don’t want to go all the way back. It’s it’s not that he is now cool. And what he’s doing is cool. He is doing what the nerd Peter Parker thinks would be cool. And but the problem is, he’s still a nerd deep down. So the thing that he thinks is cool is not actually cool, but he thinks he’s really cool doing it. And you know that it turns out rough for him. But I think on a level it’s supposed to be bad. It’s supposed to be cringy because it is it is someone who is not cool doing their best impression of what they think a cool person would do. And being very bad at it.
The totally valid points. I totally agree with you. I just think it’s stupid. I hate it. And can’t take her
Why do you like Spider Man from Spider Man three slash spider man to slash Spider Man.
As a I used to love it, obviously, because it’s Spider Man is one of the first you know, comic book movies that did a really good job. And it was really neat seeing like, my dad’s super excited about it too. But as I’ve aged and rewatch these movies, they’re a lot better than I even gave him credit for as a younger person. They’re well made. fucking amazing casting of Tobey Maguire. And the first one, the second one to an extent I think he kind of aged out by the third one.
I mean, he aged out in the first one. He was way too old to be a high school student but eighth graders too. Yeah, he was still great as Peter Parker and Spider Man is just they should have put them in high school.
Oh, no. I mean it’s Billy. It’s believable ish in that first one.
And a thriller. It’s like two scenes in high school anyway, so it’s not that big a deal. Maybe three.
I just the costume was insanely cool. Look back at it. They really go hard with you know, getting some crotch shots in there a couple times.
On some Zack Snyder with Wonder Woman shit.
Yep, just really creepy shit. Like inside you’re just like, man, they’re really finger it on this ship. Honey I did so
I feel like Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker kind of fully, fully embodied the idea of with great power comes great responsibility every time he had to be a hero throughout these movies, he did it and he kind of carried that legacy of spider man on in a way that he needed to. And like you said this kind of kicked off the superhero. Push. You know, blade did it first then x men came in did it a little bit better. And then but I don’t think we have the state of superhero movies that we have today. If it wasn’t for this spider man trilogy. Like if this spider man trilogy didn’t come in, and just blow people’s socks off from step one to step 50 then I don’t think we have
what we have now. Oh, absolutely. Man and I, I put a lot of emphasis on the fact that, you know, that’s something my dad really enjoyed. He’s huge in common. So that’s the demographic he want to get. I mean, especially It was the first movie that really x men did it to a certain extent. And then spider man really sealed the deal. Like my grandparents thought that movie was cool. Like they fucking hated everything. They thought every they watch Passion of the Christ on Christmas, that that’s what they enjoyed
so much that so I went to Catholic school and we had to watch that in like one of my religion classes. One time I fell asleep.
I had to sit in the liquor store. I’m good by myself, because we showed up late to the theater. Thanks, Dad. And they were handing out tissues. And then it was me, him and my stepmom and they got to sit together. He’s like, I’m sorry, I’m
stronger. It’s it’s all the walking of Lord of the Rings with none of the fun magical stuff.
Yeah, literally none of it. Some scariness in there. Really. We don’t even
get Jesus we don’t even get Jesus doing any of his miracles like come on.
So we’re gonna beat the fuck out of this dude for three hours. No one gets shipped from this septic
Yeah, we’re gonna stop we’re only gonna stop the walking not for magic and like invisible bad guys attacking but we’re gonna stop the walking just to like have somebody new beat the shit out of him for 10 minutes. And then he’s gonna walk somewhere and get the shippi down and again 10 more minutes later.
And they’re gonna know how we got
the Passion of the Christ with spider mites.
I don’t either but anyway, so Oh, cuz my grandparents who are no, but it really did a great job of capturing that demographic because it he portrayed being the underdog so well. And just being you know, like, like you said, the, the herd like kind of nerdy quiet people who’ve, I mean, I can speak for myself. I was very much that way timid, kind of pushed over by life. And then you hopefully grow out of it. But Tobey Maguire did a great job. The writing was fantastic. The atmosphere was even better, it had just enough like pulp and corniness to make an endearing but at the same time it had pretty solid action and decent special you know, for the time fantastic special effects. And overall, it’s just a well rounded series of two movies. And then the third just took a dump all over I
don’t think it took a dump I think there are redeeming qualities within Spider Man three. I also think that the Spider Man movies laid the blueprint for something like Batman Begins and the Dark Knight to happen they showed that you don’t have to go over the top with the superheroes and the powers and the villains and all that they while you know Spider Man is not an incredibly grounded character because he can stick to walls and he has fucking webs coming out of his arms. The villains were always pretty grounded they were they’re pretty real to life and the the action was always kind of more realistic. And I think like blade was kind of going the opposite direction or x men were going the opposite direction if you look at blade to blade three and x men two and x men three they were they were continuously getting more outlandish and farther away from realistic and and he saw the last two the Schumacher Batman movie same thing there. And then Spider Man kind of brought everything back down to earth in made this grounded superhero movie that then Pac Man begins and the Dark Knight kick kind of build off of
my grandma took me to the dark or not The Dark Knight but Batman Begins.
I didn’t like that man against when I first saw it. I saw little boring. What is takes a while to get into Batman. Hey, hey, spy Doodle, call my Movie bought pet boring.
There’s redeeming qualities about Spider Man three Batman Begins is boring. You are just full of heartaches tonight.
Unknown Speaker 15:09
No, I’m here to say yeah, Batman Begins definitely boy at a train with the League of shadows for two hours Come on. Nobody wants to see that shit. Where are the bats?
Unknown Speaker 15:22
Where are the bats?
You pull me out of my fury.
A final having a Batman. Thank you for always showing up when we need you most. You’re not the hero we deserve. But You are the hero. We need
to be a character in my story. Doing that boy’s whole time.
I don’t know about the whole time you’re gonna have to give me like several weeks of dialogue.
Six lines. And
yeah. Three minutes at a time.
Do you need a drink or something? What’s wrong with you?
Unknown Speaker 16:05
Oh. All right,
so let’s move on to our worst franchise here is I don’t think it’s gonna be Batman for anybody. Who did you have for your worst franchise hero.
Okay, so you got to roll with me here though the hero of their own story. And that’s the Joker from Suicide Squad. In the whole DC UConn is out of the franchise. I would call it a franchise because of
the franchise. There’s only one movie and it was
bad. And Batman was in three movies so I would call it a free it’s all in the interconnected world and if you got Justice League, but
I didn’t kill that franchise. I
Unknown Speaker 16:45
Suicide Squad fucking shit all over that franchise. Think about it, then.
But then more movies after Suicide Squad.
Batman v Superman was after sewer Suicide Squad wasn’t it? aka man was definitely after Suzanne was definitely after and three different versions of Justice League were after it.
I’m not saying the DC EU as a whole was halted. Even though for the most part it kind of fucking was. If the argument didn’t make a billion dollars, it would have been shut the fuck down too. But think about it. Ben Affleck is no longer around as Batman. Henry Cavill No, I’m
disagreeing that the beginning
soft reboot of the movie already. Right so
the flash is what’s going to actually end up killing the DC EU because they’re rebooting everything doing Flashpoint or whatever the hell their Crisis on Infinite flashpoints. Whatever the hell they’re trying to do. Flashpoint.
We did a podcast on it.
We did go back and check that out. I disagree. That Suicide Squad killed the DC EU but you’ve already picked it. So you got to go with it now.
Because it did. It was so bad. It was so bad and think about it they Bill 90% of the hype for those follow up movies off the trailers of suicide squad isn’t like oh sec, these projects are going to be dope. Look at the trailers for Suicide Squad. People were decently excited for Jared Leto is infamous Joker.
I think you’re just looking to make fun of him
again. This is the first time I mentioned that. infamous is not a hot take. I was like man, this dude’s a real piece of shit. I’m not throwing low blows. I’m just stating facts. He was terrible in that movie.
I’m not disagree. I again, I think, I don’t know. And I’ve been on record with this, that that is entirely his fault. They gave him a shit script to work with. And they took out all of his MIDI parts out of it and then saw him doing his weird thing never paid off fully. It was just like, let’s throw some scenes in where he’s being super weird. And never like, get to the point of why he’s so weird. Or what that complete weirdness leads to because that’s what the Joker is. It’s not that he just shows up for five minutes and is weird. It’s either something caused him to be weird, and that’s traumatic. And we need to see that which is I mean, they made the Joker movie based on that. Or his weirdness has to lead to something like some not elaborate plan because he’s not really like a planner, but like there has to be a payoff in in some evil scheme that he’s got going and just none of those things happened. And that’s the movies fault more than it’s Joker’s fault in the movie.
I disagree. I think it’s conjecture. And I also think it’s here so that mean I’ve heard two sides of the same coin, that he was a big problem that he you know, his version of the story is Oh, no, I didn’t send in any of that nasty shit to my my co Well,
I think I think Jared Leto is also a very weird dude and did some questionable shit.
Right. So when he says I think he wouldn’t think out all my MIDI parts, I’m not really buying what he’s selling.
I even if they cut nothing from him, what they gave him to do in the movie was not worthwhile to have him in the movie. Like they didn’t give him anything to do they just were like, here show up be weird for two minutes at a time, four different times, and then Fuck off.
Like you really think you need the Joker. Like as of just no having him for that little bit of nonsense. That’s enough to pull in an audience. Like you don’t need both. You don’t need to have a coherent story for the Joker. You just have him for five sight. That’s the whole point of the Joker, like you just said. Doesn’t really matter what he’s doing. It’s the Joker is the Joker people are going to show for it regardless.
Right? And they marketed it as this is the Joker’s movie. And then he was in it for like 12 minutes doing just just showing up and being weird for for three minute stretches. And then he’s just gone. And so when you market a movie as like, this is a new take on Joker. He’s weird. He’s out there and he’s got something going on. But then he doesn’t actually have anything going on. And he just shows up in his weird for 12 minutes. Then you got sold something that you used and then instead your villain is actually in Trent Enchantress, like swiveling her hips for those terrible 220 minutes with a sky being like that. You had a villain right there, you could have used Joker’s your villain and instead you chosen tantras. So either he needs to not be in the movie or you need to focus on him more.
Well, I just I don’t think he was the point at all. I think it was Harley Quinn. Correct. And he’s she, he and herself. They’re just extensions of each other. So I think he was there to give her something to do along with this.
She had something to do she had to start stop Enchantress. Right. But
you said they need a lot to do correct. That is a lot to do. What other How else you’re going to get a romantic triangle between the Joker her in fucking Will Smith. They’re trying all the heads. It’s sloppy. Yeah.
I’m making that point that the movie The movie was sloppy. And that’s not his fault that the movie was so they built a sloppy movie and threw him into it.
Dude, Philip Seymour Hoffman has been in terrible movies, but he has never been terrible.
Okay, I just chose not the same person that like,
I understand that I’m just using that as a reference for the fact that you can still be good and great with nothing to do is just a bad take. And he he just wasn’t good. That’s why I think it killed the franchise. I mean, if they already got a rebooted with some of the same characters, some. You know, roughly, they’re basically reinterpretations other characters and you don’t have pretty much anybody else involved with that movie coming back in any way, shape, or form. You know what I mean?
I guess we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree and move on, I think. Otherwise, we’re just gonna be arguing for the next hour on this point. No, this
is a serious point. I need to take this home. I needed to drive it until I beat that horse.
So my worst franchise hero is from Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Two. In Bella, is that her name? Right. I think so. Kristen Stewart’s character by shaves the world so
she’s the hero. Calvin.
How do you know she not she’s the main character of the movie. First of all, she she saved her world with her alien, vampire, werewolf, baby. It’s heroin. Fine. She’s there. She’s the worst heroine. But I’m not letting Edward calling off Eazy E’s there because he’s just as bad. So it’s both them together are bad. I never watched that second part. Kristen Stewart’s just awful. I don’t think you need to watch the second part to understand that she’s awful in all of these movies, every time she’s on screen, you actively want to turn any of these movies off. And I don’t think that is a great quality for the face of your franchise.
I just want to put in a matter.
That’s like hiring Chris ball to be the face of your franchise. like nobody wants to watch Chris ball all the time and be their number one player. But that people do though. I know. Well, people fucking watch Twilight. I saw four parts. people that do toilet five parts. Yes.
They saw Harry Potter and they’re like, we got to get on that train.
Yeah, I mean, she she just never has any energy or like inspirational qualities throughout any of these movies. You know, like I said ever calling is just as bad. I’m not trying to just hate on the woman here or anything like that. But at least that we’re calling had some cool vampire superpowers going on. Bella didn’t have any of that for most of this franchise. And Then, you know, she finally gets them and gives birth to the alien vampire werewolf or whatever the fuck it is. And you know, and that’s it. Oh, she sucked.
She’s not good. I’ll just hate on her with you. This episode. Kristen Stewart literally has no emotion on her face. No, she just moves her mouth like her eyes are She looks like a world war one veteran.
I hate it because they keep putting her in what seemed to be good projects. And I’m like, Okay, well, maybe she’ll finally be good this time. And then I watch it. And it’s the same and it’s it’s all
ANC. Quiet. Yeah, I dread seeing her on on the screen. But yeah, I think that’s fair. That’s fair. I don’t think it really killed the franchise because actually, it was going strong.
I mean, the story, but but so I don’t think you’re understanding what I mean by franchise killers. And maybe we should have had this conversation more before we started recording. But the franchise literally stopped after that movie. Like, there were no more movies after that, because that was the end of the franchise. So her in that movie killed the front like, it didn’t. It didn’t murder the franchise. It just died of old age. It’s just when franchises stop for any reason and start over. Okay, or move on. You know what?
I’m laughing at your franchise killer. It’s It was not murdered.
It doesn’t have a good for kill.
Unknown Speaker 26:35
No, I get what you’re saying.
Alright, let’s move on to the best reboot of a franchise. I go first here I went with Rocky Balboa into creed.
Man rocky by Bose like, reboot. And then Craig was a reboot of the reboot.
Yeah, yeah, that’s true. But rocky Bumble at least was like tied back to the first five Rockies and I creed was a little bit but they were really trying to do something new with creed, you know. And by 2015 most of the world we had moved on from Rocky and rightfully so we had Rocky Balboa in 2006. It was fine, but it wasn’t great. You know, they first ended it badly with rocky five. They tried that one time wasn’t good enough. So they bring back Rocky Balboa, and it’s still not good enough. So now Stallone still continuing to age you know, nobody is necessarily looking for more rocky content in 2015. But then creed comes in totally redeemed everything. Totally redeemed. At creed was just everything that we never knew we wanted in a boxing movie. You know, Michael B. Jordan as Apollo Creed son is there Ryan coogler directing old man rocky training Michael B. Jordan it revitalize this franchise that had died three times in three different ways. And then it revitalized in a way that kept everyone actually wanting more. You know, reboots often don’t live up to what the originals were. And they definitely don’t usually lend themselves to further franchise development. Some do a lot of them don’t a lot of reboots fall flat but creed I think absolutely pulled off everything that it needed to. And I you know, creed two wasn’t very good. But if they make another one, I’m gonna be there for it. Aren’t they making another? I think they are?
Pretty sure they are. But I think I read that. Sylvester Stallone just won’t be in it.
Yeah, he’s done. He said he’s done. Oh, no.
So he’s like, 75 Yeah, so shredded, though.
It’s been more shredded than I ever have been in my life. He’ll be back one more time like creed seven. He’s gonna be in it and there’ll be boxing a fucking robot or something. Who knows?
Who be your robot?
Yeah, probably. The Terminator, Rocky. crossover. Skynet will have found a way instead of just like killing people. They’ll just be building boxers. beat the shit out of them to death.
The bow bow 1100 B 1100 won’t be it something. It’s a shootout taglines.
I’m sure it’s coming, that they’re gonna hear this and they’re like, Whoa, you know, that would totally work. 10 books like did you mean Genesis? Now? No, that shouldn’t count. What is your best reboot?
Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Yeah. Okay, I thought you’re gonna be that’s not a reboot. That’s
Anyway, so Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Have you ever watched the 1968 original?
Yes, I have watched four of the five I never got. So there was It was like, right after my first daughter was born, I would come home and I watched them in the afternoon before my wife got home from work because I’d get home earlier. And like my daughter would sit there with me and watch them. And then whatever happened, I just never got to the last one and have never seven years later, I haven’t gone back to it. So, but yes, I’ve seen most of them.
You’re not missing it the theoriginal
they’re not good, but they’re there. They’re fluffy, good background movies. Like they’re solid, just like throw it on
it. If I’m like, Look, my kid. Yeah,
totally great snooze movie. For sure.
I’m just chilling on the couch. The 60 day version I really enjoyed that ending is fantastic. It’s just a well written movie. And then you get beneath the Planet of the Apes escape from the Planet of the Apes conquest and Battle of the Planet of the Apes. All within a Fiat
one I’ve never seen.
That’s insane. Five movies in five years.
I’m mean, with such great effects to
I mean, they’re just beautiful. And then you get that shiny, beautiful turd. In 2001 thing I
need to go back and re watch that too. Ah, I know it’s bad. But I saw so bad. I saw it when it came out in theaters and I was 12 maybe 12 or 13. So like I don’t really have the only thing I remember. literally the only thing I remember for it from it is Mark Wahlberg showing up with the Lincoln Memorial Park. Like that’s the only thing I remember.
Yeah, I remember this sexual tension as an eight year old with Halina bonum Carter’s McGee.
Yeah, so I
make me feel things. This is weird.
Yeah, you I you could show me any scene other than the Abraham Lincoln one from that movie, and I would have no idea that that’s what’s wrong. Other than like, there’s obviously man sized apes, and I could write guests, but I wouldn’t know. Wear armor.
Yeah. ride horses and should very odd. I not uh, I think Tim Burton you could tell he did not want to be there. But it came through a mark wahlberg. Obviously he’s just not a good lead for most movies. He’s got a very specific niche. See the happening? Also, hot pile of shit,
but you’re saying houses niche? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, terrible, awful fucking movies. But then they nailed it in 2011. I mean, I remember going to see I was like, oh, James Franco. Franco. I didn’t really see this as his type of movie. Like you. I mean, he’s also kind of a niche actor. He’s a bit of an airhead. Very much. So that’s incredibly smart. And actually, I don’t care. But I’m just not
gonna have you out here. You know. libeling James Franco. I gotta set the record straight.
This reboot was I mean, Andy Serkis really killed it as Caesar. He obviously has a knack for vocab. And that’s, I mean, there’s a lot of talent there. The storyline was good. It was just a good time for it is it is a neat little sci fi movie that it was kind of a breath of fresh air after the 2000s had a lot of shit movies like shit rom com action movies. I mean, that was like all the fucking rage and then you give
me my shit. I think you mean great rom com action movies.
I mean, top flight, Mr. And Mrs. Smith. I will watch you every night.
Yeah, no Rise of the planet apes is a great reboot. They I think they hit the nail on the head with what they’re trying to do. The next two weren’t as good. I think rise was the best out of the three. I know a lot of people will argue that the third one was
all three were
but I thought all three like held their place where they needed to be.
They totally didn’t tank the franchise.
No, I just on a good note. Yeah. And I think I like rise more because the human story being told and rise was better than I know. War of the planet apes is one and what’s the middle one? I thought that was worthy. Maybe. Now I got to look it up. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was the middle one. And war is the third one.
Remember, he’s got a gun. That’s Yeah,
I think I think Don is the most forgettable in the middle there. And then war was pretty good. But yeah, I just I liked. I liked seeing the beginnings of it. I think that’s why I watched like all the 60s and 70s ones was because they start right in the middle of it. But then as you go through those five movies, they tell you how the world got this way and the causes behind it. That’s the kind of stuff I like is the world building around these things. So I think rise right out of the gate. I gave you that rather than doing the float like it would have been one thing to start with more of the planet of the apes and then go back and see where it came from and rise.
Right? Yeah, that would be
good. Like, I mean, that’s, that’s why I keep watching alien movies too, because, like, I’m interested in how the aliens came to be and when what they’re doing and why they’re doing it, and each one is worse than the last, but I’m still gonna be there for it.
Same with Terminator.
Yeah, it’ll be pleasure. So speaking of Terminator, let’s move on to the worse reboot with Terminator Genisys. You which is a reboot of Terminator Salvation, which was a reboot from Terminator three. Yeah, and then so Genesis was so bad that they had to re re reboot it and bring in dark fate and just be like, now Fuck it. Nothing else actually counts, except T one and T two. And now dark fate. And I couldn’t tell you like the 2001 plan of the Apes. I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in Terminator two and ISIS. I know. Emilia Clarke is bad. And she’s no Linda Hamilton. I will be here to cast aspersions on Emilia Clarke until my last breath. Sorry, I hate her as an actress. She seems like a fine person, but I don’t want to watch her in a movie ever.
Sorry. I just remember being pissed off the whole time.
The reveal of john Connor as terminators. The other thing as a terminator is the other thing that I remember. And that’s just atrocious.
Jai Courtney can fucking piss off. He’s terrible.
Yes, and Clark, like Jason Clark is john Connor is bad. I don’t like Jason Clark in anything. I don’t even know where he’s from. He He is like, the third lead and a lot of stuff. And he’s always bad. Make sense? Yeah. I think I think we’re at a point with the Terminator franchise that we just need to leave it alone. Like the reason the first two works so well is because no one had seen movies like either of them at the time of their respective releases. Now, every other movie is a wannabe Terminator. And there’s nothing that these movies can do to leave audiences and on anymore. You know, when those first two came out, people have never seen this stuff done before, in either. And so it was interesting to see what they could do with the technology, the time the effects of the time. And now it’s just not anymore. Like there’s robots in every single movie. There’s, you know, there’s AI, there, there’s time traveling in aliens or whatever like they do. Other movies do the same stuff. And a lot of them do it better than what Terminator has put out since salvation, I would say. And I think at this point, they’ve tried every permutation of how to increase the stakes in this world and how to build the lore out in the Skynet verse, and just nothing is sticking. So I think we just like need to move on from it. Until we have actual robot actors that we can get to play terminators. Let’s move on from the Terminator universe. Well, I
just think they will fuck from the from jump stream and after two, because you may not enjoy them. I can still watch him and think they’re fun movies. Like I enjoy I can
watch. I can watch Terminator three. I can watch salvation. I can watch dark fate. I like dark fate more than probably either those other two. I cannot watch an ISIS.
It’s Oh, no, no, I’m not saying that. I’m saying T one and T two are still fucking amazing movies. They’re just so well written. So well directed. The cinematography is unreal. The acting so dope. The sound effects the is everything the storyline? No, I Casey. Oh, great. And they’re incredibly
rewatchable both of them
and it could ever capture that again.
Exactly. That’s the point I’m making is there. They need to stop trying because they can’t do it again. And those limits exist and you can watch them whenever you want. So like let’s just
yeah, let it pass. I mean, James Cameron. Probably can’t do that much cocaine again live.
That’s too old for that. This film and avatars and whatnot. Piss off the fucking series. They’re hate. I already only come when we come back to this in 10 years we’ll be able to just give all these awards to the avatar franchise because they’ll have all five movies by then. I hope so. Bullshit as What did you have for your worst reboot?
I went with some horror action and I went with A Nightmare on Elm Street in 2010. I was after watchmen I had never really seen Jackie Earle Haley and anything. So I was really pumped. To see him come out and play for any Krueger, I thought that was gonna be awesome. And it was terrible. Everything about it was fucking terrible instead of just okay, this is gonna be really weird to say, but instead of a child murderer, he’s a child molester, which for some reason in my mind, or in like my gut that just feels even more detestable. Well, did
he molest and murder them?
I’ve seen the new one. I never saw the old ones. I can’t say off the top of my head. He just murdered kids. And he just fucking murdered kids in the news, run of the mill serial killer, but this feels a lot more malicious. And instead of just being a theory or being like, not really defined, he’s a just a vengeful ghost. But he, huh, yeah, remember all that? Who can just manifest go create mass out of fucking nothing? Like what why I did it. It does. It takes itself too seriously for you to suspend your disbelief. I yeah,
I saw that when it came out. I’m not a big horror person. So I’ve never seen any of the classic ones. I don’t like the idea of my dreams using being used against me. And so like, that’s why I’ve never gone back because I know, the original ones are very good at showing that. And I could kind of tell that the new one wasn’t going to be like I could tell from the trailers and all the marketing around it, that this was not going to scare me. It wasn’t going to bother me. It wasn’t gonna leave me up at night. And it didn’t. And that’s a bad horror movie if you can’t do that to me because I’m very easily scared. And so and like I could tell that it wasn’t going to be and I watched it because I figured that was a way to kind of get the the ethos around Freddy Krueger without having to like fully dive into that old stuff that probably would scare me. And I did the same when they make remade the Friday the 13th I did the same thing with that one. And I watched that one first. And that’s a little bit better. As far as like a movie goes, it’s not great, but it’s a little bit better than that new Nightmare on Elm Street was and that actually made me want to go back and watch the original Friday 13th than I did. And like I’m not going to camp so that stuff didn’t scare me. But I fall asleep every night so I can’t avoid that. You know?
Yeah, I used to scare the fuck out of me when I was a kid.
And you know, the original Friday the 13th is better than the new one. But I think the new one has some merits as well.
Yeah, I agree. And I also saw them the Freddy Krueger does the classics benefited from the time?
Yeah, and the way they could build suspense. And now by 2010 when you’re making these movies, you’ve seen all these, you know, suspense building tropes played out at this point. And so the same scares aren’t going to work in 2010 movie as did in 1978. or whenever these first ones came out.
Yeah, shit, don’t fly. My wife’s a huge fan of the original Nightmare on Elm Street series. So I’ve watched a lot. And like I said, I really think it boils down to the the reboot took itself way too seriously. I mean, even Freddy vs Chase, it was better in my opinion. And that movie was garbage. They did show you know a bunch I once saw that with my grandpa once again. I saw some weird shit with my grandpa. In my little bit it was dad or like Spy Kids three. And I talked my grandpa and to go in and see that and then just tits like the first pocket.
I read that somebody tweeted out the other day, it was like, the next time you’re watching like an R rated movie with your parents and there’s a sex scene. He totally flipped the the balance of power just like look at them and go Is this the type of freaky shit you guys are into and get up and walk out of the room? Oh, no, it’s like Could you imagine saying that to your grandfather watching Freddy vs. Jason in first 10 minutes of that movie.
He would want my ass that’s why you walk out with caught me
Graham Parker was freaky shit you
Unknown Speaker 44:14
like to hear?
My brother would have been like, Yeah, me too. Alright,
so let’s move on to the best overall franchise. What do you got?
motherfucking Austin Powers.
This is a hot topic if I’ve ever seen one.
This is a hot take. I was just driving along and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like Austin Powers you know? Because that that movie redefined comedy for like 10 years. They it also has infinite we watchability all three movies to sir. I mean, the first and second movies are obviously better. But third movie is still very good. It’s got a great cast of characters. It launched several careers, it maximize several others and you know, Michael Myers, Mike Myers. I don’t know what he prefers. Yeah, he’s Mike. Mike. My boy, Mike, I couldn’t differentiate those two as a kid. I always cuz I watched Austin Powers when I was young. My mom put that shit on the TV. I loved it. It’s hilarious. But I was just like, how is this guy, Michael Myers.
So he is he’s a super spy and then at night he goes back to Haddonfield and murders teenagers. Is that what’s going on?
So what’s up? He’s Harry rose. But those movies rose like eight inches. Yeah, he’s huge and super strong. Well, I mean, the Chino chop makes sense. I mean, Austin Powers was everywhere. And I think for a series to crank out three movies, basically from the mind of one guy playing multiple characters. That’s, that’s really really hard to do. And I think they, they brought it in for a landing. And you got some of the I think without Austin Powers three, Goldmember did some some awesome shit. people realized. Michael Caine’s fucking hilarious. I don’t give a shit what anybody says he is funny in that movie. We don’t say she’s multi talented. She’s not just I mean she’s still kind of she wasn’t you know, bay yet. Whatever people call her now.
Quite she had I believe she’d already split from Destiny’s Child. But this was early on in the app she was dating Jay Z already. But yeah, it that it was kind of the beginnings of Queen Bey coming up.
There you go. But I mean, she was super fun in that movie by Myers was hilarious. Goldmember honestly if there is strange kept Dr. Evil in fat bastard. It would have been hilarious still, but I mean the parts where he’s just like fucking racking mini me in that sack. I don’t think I laughed harder in any of the other movies. Michael Caine is hilarious Seth Green is you know progressing and to be taking his father’s spot and you got you got multiple facets they brought more serious tones in with your my dad and your my brother and a seriousness that
they went a little off the radar there with the word everybody’s related. But I mean, it worked as a joke.
It was hilarious. It was fucking hilarious. And let’s let me say this. I don’t think we would have got Tropic Thunder. Without Tom or Tom Cruise’s les Grossman in Tropic Thunder without gold member. Maybe he’s hilarious. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Kevin Spacey. Okay, Dr. Evil. Danny DeVito. As many me That was hilarious. Oh, that was hilarious. I need to rewatch all this movies.
Yeah, I was watching three the other night. And it’s it’s, I mean, it’s, it holds up for what it is. I don’t know if it technically holds it. Like if you showed that to somebody who’s like 17 years old right now and has no history with these characters or like the, the Zeitgeist of the late 90s, early 2000s they’re gonna be like, Whoa, this is rough. But I think they think if you experienced that, I think it holds up to an extent of like it there are still funny parts. There are things that at the time we hadn’t really seen before in comedies like he said, and and it definitely has its merits. I don’t know. That’s the best overall franchise ever. Oh,
you’re wrong. best ever. I mean, it’s it doesn’t have gratuitous violence. It doesn’t have nudity. It doesn’t have any nudity. No, it they hardly curse like they hardly curse. So you know, the big Go Gators. Every that’s what sells sex and violence. They didn’t really have that much of it. It was just, you know, funny. And here’s a interesting I was talking to a couple co because they listen to the show and I was talking to them about what we were talking about today. And I mentioned that I thought the best franchise was Austin Powers and this 21 year old kid, and I think he’s 67 they both crack the line at the same time. Steve the 67 year old goes yeah, baby. Yes, he’s walking by and then the 21 year old is like a bomb on a blitz.
Smoking pancake is a really fun smoke in a pancake. Many would peel the skin off and try and eat it. So floss small. Yeah, very fucking gross. Get back into the real world here where Austin Powers is not the best franchise ever. I’m gonna take us to a galaxy far, far away, because the Star Wars original trilogy is the best overall franchise, I think top to bottom, you would be hard pressed to find a better, complete story told over multiple movies than the original trilogy. It’s amazing to me what these three movies were able to pull off as far as the iconography of you know what space movies have taken from that and there being spaced movies made in the late 70s and early 80s. And none of it feels stale, even after 50 years. I mean, maybe little parts do but most of it doesn’t. And it’s just 50 years. Yeah, that’s insane. And, like the the iconography of Star Wars still holds true like Darth Vader is widely known. The stormtroopers are widely known, the, the rebel insignia, you know, if you show that to somebody, they might not know exactly what it is, but they’ll know it’s from Star Wars, lightsabers are, you know, that ubiquitous in the lexicon, like people know what they are, even if they’ve never seen Star Wars. You know, what a lightsaber is, you know, what a Jedi is, to some extent, you know, who Darth Vader is, and, and all this stuff has just stood for 50 years. And you can go back and watch any of these three movies, and they’re not stale in any way. And I think what really does it for the original trilogy is the masterful storytelling that we get so wonderful,
and genuinely is fantastic.
And audience just hold your jokes back about like Luke and Leia kissing because I don’t think little things like that really matter. Like, obviously, George Lucas didn’t have a fully formulated plan from A to Z on these three movies. And and there are some little bumps in the road. But those don’t matter. Because the the way, the overall story told is very important, and masterfully done, you know, we enter this world, knowing absolutely nothing about it in the same way that Luke does. And the audience only gains knowledge as Luke gains knowledge. And so we get to learn about this huge world right along with one of these main characters. And I think that’s what makes it so compelling to keep watching, you know, a lot of movies, especially science fiction, fantasy movies, will like almost take a timeout to dump exposition on viewers. So we know more than what the characters know. And, you know, they think because those movies think that we won’t be able to understand it, if they just tell the story and have the character learn along the way, they have to take a break and tell us what’s going on. And that’s not really fair to audiences, Star Wars never does that they never dumb it down for us. You know, they give you a protagonist who knows some things. But overall, he’s naive to the greater world. And he’s in just as much all of this world as we are about all these new things that he’s discovering. You know, Episode Four, we learn that there’s this vast world and rebellion versus the Empire, we learned the force exists, and the Jedi are these people that want to use it. And that’s really it, that we learn about that. And, you know, most of that movie is just it’s a, it’s about the mission of saving the princess and then destroying the Death Star. It’s it’s not world building, necessarily, it’s not lower building. And then Episode Five, we get a little bit deeper in the lore, we learn new details of the force, and how they use it. We learn really how far the Emperor’s reaches and how powerful they are, and what happens when you get on their bad side. And then we learn Luke’s connection to Darth Vader, then episode six comes back. And we learn even more. If we learn what it means to be a Jedi, we learn what the Emperor truly wants, and how powerful he truly is. And you know, what it’s going to actually take for the rebellion to win. And most importantly, that no one is beyond redemption through the eyes of the force. And just the pacing of the information that we’re giving about this world is masterful. And I think it’s what makes Star Wars so timeless is they don’t ever spoon feed you. But they don’t ever overload you with information either. It’s a slow burn, you learn as the movies go, each movie builds on the previous one, you learn more lore, you learn more about the world. And at the end, the good guys defeat the bad guys. And it’s just you, you see the progression from A to Z, even if all the you know, G and l might be out of place. It doesn’t matter because the progression from A to Z is done so beautifully.
You kind of nailed it. I don’t I don’t really think I can say much else in regards to that. outside of just the classic. He was just so perfect.
And all all unknowns at the time, I think. I think Harrison Ford had done some very low level things.
Yeah, I think he had tried he was basically failing as an actor.
Yeah, he was a carpenter on the side as well. And like that’s how we really met George Lucas is he was like doing work on his home or his friend’s home or something and Lucas had him come in and interview for an interview audition for the role. But hey, you’re a good looking dude. You want to? Yeah. Become a stallion.
Yeah. You want to be a space cowboy? I mean, that sounds pretty cool.
And so I rewatch the original trilogy every three years. That is something I was taught by How I Met Your Mother is you have to watch every three years just to kind of keep it fresh. And so this is now the third rotation since I had my first daughter. And so the first time I watch it, with her being around, it was 2015. She watched it with me, but she wasn’t really aware of it. She was less than one. And then so we watched again 2018 she’s four at this point three or four at this point. And like she started watching probably watched like the first 20 minutes and like I’m not watching this and went on and did other things. By this time I we just started the other day. She’s actually watching with me and she’s like, kind of into it. She she’s pretty interested. We’re having to watch it in parts, because we’re watching it like before she goes to bed, so we get like 45 minutes a night. So most of the way through Episode Four right now. We got to finish it tomorrow night. And she seems like she’s actually interested to see what happens next.
I wish my excuse me. I wish my child would watch Star Wars. Amazing.
Yeah, it’s it’s hard. Like you gotta you got to get it at the right time. And like I said, because I watch it every three years it I just kind of offer it out there. And last time. They were really they were like, yeah, yeah, let’s watch Star Wars because we had some of the toys and things like that. And they started watching and it just didn’t catch with them. They’re just like, this is an interesting so they went off and did something else. And I ended up watching them on my own at a different time. But she’s, she’s like, well, what’s Princess Leia doing? Where’s raid is re come up in this one like, No, we got to get all the way to seven. But first, we got to go from four to six. And then you go back to 123. And then you finally get to seven. She’s like, is this baby Yoda? I’m like, no baby Yoda is in a different show. And that’s kind of a grown up show. You’re not really ready for that. Well, what about this thing and this thing? And she’s like asking questions and learning about so it was really it’s been really cool this last time to like kind of really engage with her on it.
Yeah, that sounds pretty.
Alright, so what is your worst overall franchise?
Worst overall franchise is the hobbit that’s a good pick. These are the hobbit every one of these movies is fucking dumb. They’re bloated, unnecessary. The dialogue is fucking atrocious. The CGI is ancient. The character design sucks. My fucking left nut and legitimately is terrible. And the franchise is zero fun. I fucking hate it.
I liked the Desolation of Smaug, or parts of it. I remember watching The Desolation of Smaug and being ready for the Battle of Five Armies. And then I turn on Battle of Five Armies and I’m like, okay, that’s just shitty again. Cool. Yeah. What
is this hot bag of garbage?
So I don’t know if I remember if the whole desolation small movie, like kept me interesting. Interested? Or if it was just like the last 2025 minutes? Just Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, it probably was. But by the end of it, I was like, I gotta see what happens next. And then I turned on the next one. And I was like, Okay,
Unknown Speaker 58:18
not like I don’t like this. Yeah, no. Not a fan.
That’s a very good pic.
Yeah, the I don’t really need to get too much deeper into it. Now. They lost me. First 40 minutes of the first movie, because of the dwarves design. It’s like, what the fuck? Why did these two guys look human? Or three guys? Look, they just look human. And then these other guys are cartoonishly stupid
because Jackson thought it was unnecessary to and completely nailed it in
that 100% you could tell after seeing after getting the Lord of the Rings. It’s just like, what is going on here? Yeah, hot garbage is this.
Alright, so my worst overall franchise was divergent.
never watched them. I heard that atrocious.
Very bad Schilling Woodley is not good. This is by far the worst of all the YA novels turned into movie franchises that try to piggyback off Harry Potter. And that’s saying something because like Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief exists, and they made two of those seven books into movies and just gave up. divergent made all of their books into movies, and it’s all bad. So somehow, they continued I’m pretty sure the last movie wasn’t even released in theaters. And I
wasn’t released at all.
Yeah, I believe they have finished whatever the book stories were I think they made movies for all of them. I lost interest after like the second one. And each movie kind of got progressively worse. I think I watched a definitely watch at least the first three it might have watched the fourth because my wife had read all the books. But yeah i i don’t know how this fell so hard so fast because the state of these movies like three years earlier was everybody one of these ya dystopian future type stories and this one just I think this killed the whole idea of why a dystopian futures like nobody wanted anymore after this
is that fucking bad huh?
I guess I mean it’s got some talent behind it like miles tellers in it. People think Shailene Woodley is talented like there’s good actors throughout this
isn’t that Sarah Rogers is girl?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Okay. somewhat familiar with
Hey, I don’t like her very much. But yeah, it was bad.
So let’s move on to the best cliffhanger for sequel that never came. I go first here with the amazing Spider Man number two. Ah, that’s also what I picked. It just it set the scene for what could have been a really great next installment, you know, spider man’s going against the escaped Rhino. It’s just a really great scene to end on because there’s so much more to what this movie left hanging it’s not just that battle that we need to see play out because it that battle really doesn’t matter. You know, Peter, he’s coming back from the brink after Gwen’s death. Was he really going to be the same after dealing with that? Was the Sennheiser state six actually going to make an appearance? And what would that have looked like? Would they have meshed well together? Or would they have squabbled with each other? Would they be powerful enough to actually like give Spider Man run for his money? I don’t know what’s going on with Peters parents because I keep kind of dropping these breadcrumbs of Peters parents are up to some shit in these movies.
Not good shit.
Yeah, there’s just so much more that this series wanted to tell us. And I wanted to know it all because again, I love the world building around this stuff. And I think that’s probably what actually killed the amazing Spider Man franchise is they had too many balls in the air at one time. I thought it was awesome. But isn’t that a good movie? No, it’s not a very good movie. But I liked the ideas behind like the ideas that they were throwing out there for things to come and the breadcrumbs that they’re laying. I wanted to learn more about those things. They stuff too many of them into one movie, but I thought they were potentially going in some cool directions.
I agree. 100% my exact notes were even though I hated this movie, and I hated the design of Rhino and Paul Giamatti. His fucking accent. I wanted to see this so damn bad. I love it. Dude. I love it, but I hate it. I love it. But I hate it. It’s like great. Yeah, some like you can’t look away below
this movie. Like I want to see that crossover like Rhino needs to be going up against DOM and the family and the next movie.
Dom would just like jump them in that right away if I want to see it. That’d be sick.
Universal I know you’re listening get
Transformers crossover. Do and he’s all the sudden fist fighting with a giant Rhino suit.
Perfect. Let’s do it. Write it up. Give me all the money in the world. It’s on when we as Tyrese comes the Green Lantern because they go back into space.
Only and fasten your seat belts fasten your seat belts is July 5 2023.
In space theaters. Through the family is a Yeah, the only thing
that I’m happy that we didn’t get to see who was Shailene Woodley as Mary Jane like, I don’t know that I would have been able to hold on to that.
She’s popping up in a lot of years,
Unknown Speaker 1:03:52
I think. But I
don’t like her. She was supposed to be Mary Jane Watson.
Yeah, they shot scenes with her but they got cut. Good. Yeah, she would have been bad. Alright, so worst cliffhanger that I went with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Really? Yeah. I know. We’re technically about to get another Indiana Jones movie, but it doesn’t appear to be connected to at least Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Because Kingdom of the Crystal Skull left it up for Shiloh buff to take over the fedora and the whip. And I don’t think the world was gonna have that happen.
Nah, he wasn’t gonna let that shit happen. He’s a sabotage I’ve ever seen.
Well, I mean, he had some alcohol issues. And drug issues has some issues. I love shy, he’s great. This wasn’t gonna be it for him. You know, I’m really happy with the type of stuff that he’s doing now. And it’s probably best that this franchise didn’t continue with him in it because you can see it in Transformers like his heart wasn’t it like he liked I think he liked doing the first one and then The other ones, he was just like, Nah, Fuck this. And so he got tagged on to another soul crushing franchise that’s already going into aliens and their first fourth installment like, I don’t think I don’t think it would have taken for him. He would have had a hard time with
that. He would be probably dead. I could totally see that is harshest That is to say. What did you have for a worst cliffhanger? Worst cliffhanger? I had Terminator. Gen ICS.
See, I don’t even remember the cliffhanger from that.
So everybody lives and Skynet still survives and then underground, protected area. Go figure fucking below me. blow me. You just gave me two hours of the shittiest fucking movie that you could possibly put green charged me $30 for two people.
Each and ISIS,
I went to a theater. It was like 37 bucks for me and my wife. And that’s the only reason I didn’t leave is because like our papers, I’m watching the whole thing. I’m such an ignorant assholes. But I was just mad. I was just mad at the whole time that ruined my fucking day. No.
Real come from my home and I was still mad that I wasted time on it. ruined my goddamn day. We’re
on like a date night and when I get really like pissy, like it happens. Yes. I just kind of stuck on a good date night after that. No, it just infects everyone around me. So I
expected it to be bad because Emilia Clarke was in it. And I was just like, there’s no way this is gonna be good. She’s She’s not good. I was
still on her train, you know, still in our corner. And then she did that to me.
Like even solo. Like I like solo as a movie. But she’s not like I don’t like anything she does. She’s not good. She’s not good. I like every part of solo other than her and like, that’s kind of shitty to say, but like she’s just she doesn’t do it for
Donald Glover. So good.
Yeah, it’s good. Everything. Alright, so let’s move to the best franchise ending how they wrapped up the franchise very important here. What do you got?
I chose the Return of the King of the Lord of the Rings series to choice being the only the only gripe I would have is they didn’t have the Battle of the Shire, or whatever from the books but the ending
was that movie ended 18 times so yeah, several endings.
Yeah, basically. But I mean, they, they just, it is such a great you bouton no one like that is such a great line is it was an awesome way to end the movie and then to see how everyone kind of lives their life, or at least Frodo and Sam, who gives a fuck about merry and Pippin. You know, they can fuck off. But you learn kind of how the rest of the fellowship goes on. So I think that’s, that’s pretty fucking awesome. And to finish with, like I said, with awesome powers. I really wanted to put Lord of the Rings you know as the best franchise but the ending was we kind
of had the clerk’s to argument if you’d done that.
Fuck my life clerks to sucks the ranking of clerks three. They’re filming it in like two weeks.
Now. I just mean that’s the argument that Randall has in clerks too, with like that one customer they argue Star Wars verse, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings, 100% Star Wars. Oh, let’s walk for four more. Let’s just keep walking, walk, walk, walk, walk. Oh, here’s a tree. Let’s walk with the trees now.
like, Okay, I need to rewatch it. I’ve never read the books. So like, the only recollection I have is the first time I saw fellowship with a ring in theaters and walked out halfway through because it was just walking, walking, walking for an hour and a half. And there’s still an hour and a half left of the movie. And I wasn’t there for that shit.
My dad felt the same way he hated that shit. He paid someone to take me so we won’t have to go. Well then so when
I rewatch it, because I was in this in my english one on one composition class that the teacher really liked the Lord of the Rings and like the The Lord of the Rings movies, and he was like really talking about how great the movies are. And you know, they start off as a slog, but like, just how perfect they are at storytelling in the same way. I was just talking about Star Wars and you know, he was going on and on about it. I was like, I should really give them another chance. You know, I’m just gonna make it through that first hour and a half minute sounds like this stuff is really cool. And I eventually did that and that everyone’s right like they’re great movies. It’s just that first hour and a half of Fellowship of the Ring is boring a
CI I’m kind of biased because it had me the first 35 seconds of the movie. That opening scene,
the opening scene is really great
going along that line of swordsman. You know, the Elvish swordsman I say in sync kind of bring up their weapons and it’s
seeing Wow, dope. But then the next so after the first three minutes, the next hour and a half is not though.
I was willing to give this hard disagree. Attention.
13 year old me was bored out of my mind, in a movie theater,
I could see that. I mean, I was young enough. And it was just something I really enjoyed. And I started reading the books and don’t get me wrong, the books are great. For what they are, they’re hella dry. Just like, you know, A Song of Ice and Fire can be incredibly dry at times. And sometimes the show did things better than the novel. I think the ending did things better than the novel. It was contrite it was it was good. I enjoyed it. I think it was the best franchise ending that you could have possibly had. And as a whole, you know, as a beginning, middle and end, that last installment of that franchise was out of this world. And they wrapped up pretty much everything you could possibly want really well.
I’m not here to disagree with you. I think you’re right. But I’m also going to disagree. Because my franchise ending was Ocean’s 13. You’re no that’s a good pic. Dude. I love the oceans movies so much.
Yes, each movie
is is perfect in its own unique way and Ocean’s 13 doesn’t really disappoint in in that venue. Each of the oceans movies I think could have finished the series out properly and tied everything together nicely, but Ocean’s 13 kind of goes above and beyond that, like Ocean’s 11 ends on a good note. Everybody gets their money. Everybody’s happy. The you know, Terry Benedict gets screwed over great. Ocean’s 12 comes back. They still Yeah, they provided the best ice team. They you know, the night Fox gets screwed over. Great. Everybody’s happy, good end of the series. Nope. Now we’re gonna do Ocean’s 13. Not only did they get their money that they were after, or like the diamonds, or whatever it was, which you at least need in a heist franchise, but they also get revenge on Al Pacino for screwing over Reuben, and they make fools out of all of their past enemies as well. So it’s not just Al Pacino. They go after Terry Benedict and screw him over again. They go after the night Fox and screw him over again. They screw over the cougar lady that works for alpha Chino, and then they help out some people who help them along the way. They rigged that little slot machine for the reviewer that got screwed out of his room earlier and they put bedbugs on him and all that shit. So he gets a happy ending. It’s just so much fun to watch them get away with all this and leave everybody else in complete shambles. in it. It really was he fucking suckers. I still remember the first time I watched Ocean’s 13 I was in the house I lived in it was junior college. I was watching on my little ass like 20 inch TV with the built in DVD player made by like 27 inch and watching it. And as soon as it ended, my first thought was they just absolutely owned every other person in this movie. That’s not in their crew. And it’s awesome. And I’m here for it. Yeah. And I think at this point in that franchise, that’s the only thing that they could do could have done better than the previous two movies is they had, there’s no way to up the stakes because they’ve stolen everything. And there’s only so much you can steal and continue to be interesting. So the next thing you have to add to it is to steal for somebody leave them in shambles. And then the last step to add on to that is you steal from someone and leave just everything in your wait demolish. That’s not you and your crew. And they did it.
Right and just walk away like Scot fucking free.
Yeah. Good job. Ocean’s 13 bad job. Ocean’s eight you You almost qualified for the worst reboot. Ocean’s eight.
I the cinephile friend of mine and I talked I’ve talked about a couple times. He almost gets, like violent when he talks about that movie. It’s so fucking mad.
I don’t think it’s worse than Terminator Genisys. The thing about Ocean’s eight is they had all the pieces like all the actresses they got are incredibly talented and they’re all good at something, but they had them each doing something that they’re not good at. And it just nothing worked in
it. Yeah. Yeah, I’m not gonna watch it ever. Should.
I so what do you have for your worst franchise ending? Is it Ocean’s eight should be Ocean’s eight?
Nope, it’s blade Trinity.
Come on. Ryan Reynolds. Jessica Biel. Fuck that movie, dude.
That was so dumb. Let me just say this. How the fucking gonna have a movie where? So they released the it kills Dracula, the first vampire doesn’t kill blade because he’s half human. So is hartzler Just enough that he basically goes into hibernation. All the other vampires are basically dead. And then he wakes up and he’s just like, hey, the tons of goddamn vampires. Fuck off with that shit. That movie was terrible. We can’t kill blade.
you could just retire that motherfucker. Once you join become a private PII you’d be great at it.
And then Jessica Jones out there hunting people down. Yeah, that’s
exactly what we need another sex scene between Jessica Jones in played? I mean, sure, why not? That’d be me some crazy ass offspring.
I went with Star Wars episode nine, the rise of Skywalker. And the reason it’s the worst is because I wanted to be good. Everyone wanted to be good. And it has some very few redeeming qualities. And there are some things there’s a good story somewhere in that movie. It’s just not anything that they put on screen. And the movie was shit. I mean, we’ve we’ve talked enough about it. So I’m not gonna sit here and trash too much on it just like because that’s been done to death. And we’ve even talked about we did a whole episode on this movie right after it came out. It was just incredibly disappointing how bad it ended up being. And it could have been so easy to finish the series off on a good note, even if you don’t think the best movie ever. There are a million ways that you could have ended this, the sequel trilogy satisfyingly.
And even just remotely satisfied.
Yeah. And I don’t I don’t think there’s any one thing that you can point to that that is the cause of the disjointed mess of what this movie became, I think every individual contributor, excluding the actors, because all the actors are phenomenal in all three of these movies, every other individual contributor is somehow to blame in some small way or another. And the biggest issue with it is that they tried to somewhat tell their story they wanted to tell but they also tried to take into account angry fanboy reactions to the previous two movies. And that’s always going to be an issue because no two angry fanboys have the same issues. They just, they tried to half assed address each of them. And also tell a story where those criticisms don’t actually matter, which is what they should have done is just tell the story they want to tell and not worry about what ever the criticisms of the past few movies were, you’re never going to go out there and please everybody, so you have to try to at least Please someone. And that should probably be the creators of the movie. And this movie spent so much time trying to please everyone that it just please no one like it didn’t do anything good for anyone. I’m one of the biggest star wars apologists out there, I will, I can find something good to say about every piece of Star Wars media that exists, I can defend it in some way. And I just because I love this world, and I love everything that’s been built around it. And it’s very hard for me to find redeeming qualities to defend rise of Skywalker. And I think that’s a problem when you can’t get the support of your biggest apologists, the people who are always their rivalry who are always the ones arguing against whatever these dumb angry fanboys say when they’re even like, yeah, you know, they should have done something better. That’s a problem.
Yeah, you remember how pissed off I was? When I went and saw that?
Yeah, I mean, I, I didn’t leave pissed off, because like, I saw the bones within it of like, what they could have done. And I’m like, yeah, I’m just gonna kind of take those pieces, and put them in my mind together and be like, that’s gonna be my story. And I’ll leave out the dumb bullshit. And it just it. It’s very hard to defend like I can I can defend Attack of the Clones, I can defend Phantom Menace. I can defend any other movie, I can defend any book that I’ve read. I can defend any of the cartoons. I have a hard time defending rise of Skywalker. And if I watched it again, I would find some things to defend in it. I just don’t know that’s worth my energy right now,
two weeks later, and then you’d be like, you know what, fuck that. I don’t even care anymore
in two more years when I get to because so the way I’ve split it up is I just do a trilogy every year I do original trilogy, then I’ll do prequel trilogy, then I’ll do a sequel trilogy. So in two years, when I get back to the sequel trilogy, maybe I’ll have a little more hope, or just be able to turn my brain off because I’m going in I’ll know what’s bad, kind of like I did join ISIS, right? Like, I know it’s bad, so I won’t be expecting too much. And I’ll just be able to kind of take it for what it is. Maybe we’ll see.
I wish you the best of luck and sir.
I’ll let you know two years we’ll be back to tell you how that rewatch one.
I mean, I already watched it with you.
Alright, so we’re on to our final segment of our moose pearls episode and that is what would you do Nick? What franchise Do you never want to die?
Yeah, I don’t think that’s going anywhere. So you’re lucky there.
That’s honestly I really, really thought about it as best I could. I was like, you know what franchise doing never genuinely want to die. I want to pick a animated movie. Initially, I wanted to pick the My Hero Academia movie franchise, but it’s mostly a show. And then I just learned it on the Avengers. As long as I keep getting an ensemble comic book movie, every couple years, I’m a fucking happy man.
They do such a good job of telling different stories and, and the way coming from the world of comic books and the world of Marvel Comics, they’re never going to run out of stories to tell, they’re never gonna run out of new characters to introduce, if one of the if Shang Chi doesn’t work out, and it’s just a bad movie, boom, they move on, they bring in somebody new, you know, they make moon night jump from Disney plus to they give them a movie. Now they do things like that there’s always another character to throw in. And there’s always something more to do. And you know, if you get far enough away from it, you bring in an alternate timeline version of Tony Stark, where now we have a different actor playing that role, you know, or you bring in Riri Williams or you do something like that there’s infinite possibilities of what they can do in that universe. And I don’t see a way that it dies other than just people get absolutely sick with it.
I don’t see that happening either.
And so I think Star Wars has Star Wars isn’t my pick. But I think Star Wars could have positioned itself to be the same way there’s an infinite galaxy far, far away, that they could have literally done anything in. But they kept coming back to the Skywalkers. And it and I think they’re eventually going to move beyond it. And even like their spin off road one had to had to it had to tie into reading leading right into A New Hope Solo, we had to tell the story of Han Solo instead of telling something else, even like the Mandalorian that that was its own thing for most of the first season. And then the second season took all this time to go meet a Soca you know, tie it back in which I loved when he met us, okay, and that was dope as hell. But like, they keep bringing it back to these old properties instead of like, let’s expand the world that see what’s out there. Because you have this, you have infinite possibilities of things you can do and what they’re doing with Republic novels and comics right now is starting to do that these are all new characters. They’re only things like the only being that we know that’s alive at the time of the high republican and that’s in you know, any of the Skywalker series as Yoda. And they always just kind of like half mentioned Yoda. They’re like, Oh, yeah, Master Yoda says this, but I don’t like doing it that way. And they’re exploring all these new and different ways to use the Force. Because these Jedi back in the high Republic days weren’t afraid to like, just try shit out with the force. They’re just like, I bet I could do that. And then they try it. And if it works, it works. And if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. And they kind of rework and do something else. And I think that’s really cool. And they need to take that out of novels and bring it into movies and into TV shows rather than just constantly tying back to let’s go to tattooing. Let’s go to Nobu. Let’s do these things. Let’s let’s tie it to the things people know. So that way they know what’s going on. I don’t know. Yeah. No,
we don’t need it. I’m sick of it.
And I think like I think Marvel’s finally figuring that out is we don’t have to tie these, like Guardians of the Galaxy prove that for them, is we don’t have to have a big name hero in these movies.
Right. And, but as long as the in The Avengers, or some of the just the best of all of them, which you can easily fuck those up being an ensemble movie. It’s it wouldn’t be hard, but at the same time. You if you do it, right, you do fucking Right.
Yeah. And I mean, I think we’re gonna further see that with john g with the eternals. We’re gonna see that like you. You don’t have to tie everything back to Tony Stark or Captain America like these. These characters can exist on their own and then if they need all come together, great. If they don’t, then we’ll leave them out. But they can still exist. So I think I don’t see the MCU going anywhere anytime soon. No, no, it’s not happening. My actual pick for what franchise I never want to see die. Is the Fast and Furious obviously. I yeah, I kind of figured it’s it’s gotten to the point where it’s completely beyond parody. And I think that’s what makes it so enjoyable. They know what they are at this point. They keep coming back for more. They bring in more characters. They do crazier stunts. It’s always watchable.
It’s really awesome powers but with cars.
Yeah. And then diesel. Not quite the same type of humor.
Oh, yeah. But it’s it’s so same vein.
Yeah. And and they just, they know what they are. They show up, they do it, people want to see it. And so people see it. You never go to a fast and furious movie and you walk out and just be like, that was shit. You never walk out and say that was the greatest movie ever. But they have felt much in the middle of the road as this action movie that people can just go see and watch stuff blow up. Yeah, you turn your brain off. Yeah. f nine was the least watchable entry, I think that I’ve seen in a while just because it was a little too bloated and it almost two and a half hours long. Like we just don’t need that. And these guys, give us two hours. Give us three or four Karstens that we’ve never seen before. 20 mentions of family 10 mentions a Corona we’re going to be good. You know, no one needs to try too hard here. Clearly no one does. So let’s keep it that way. Just make keep give them out. Yeah,
yeah, just give me more.
It does look like there’s probably only going to be two more entries in the main series here. Hobbs and Shaw spin off looks like that’s gonna keep going a little bit. There’s a rumored cipher spin off a sharlee Styron’s character that may live beyond this as well. The only thing I have to hope is that in these last two entries, or there might be more but it seems like it’s really just gonna be two is that you know, the rock comes back. He gets back on the team for one last movie, you got to bring him back even though Tyrese Haytham and Dwayne and fucking Vin Diesel hates him. Right. That’s fine. We got to get the rockin just for one last movie. And they need to team up against Charlie serons character and Idris Elvis character. Like I want those two to be the big bad of the final movie. Those two would be formidable force together. Oh, yeah. And the last thing I need from it. I know it’s bad to say this. I think Brian has to at least be at the barbecue at the end. You just you get one small scene with his brothers the stand ins like they did for furious seven. You know, I don’t need them in the whole movie. I don’t need them do an instance just at the table at the barbecue. He’s got a Corona. He says grace for one last time. I think Paul Walker’s ghost is going to be happy with that.
I would hope you know one of the better spin offs you get.
Yeah. And in in f9 spoilers if anyone gives a shit and it’s not really a spoiler. Like they’re all sitting at the table doing the barbecue like they do at the end of every movie. And like Dom looks at me as like, oh is Brian coming? I thought he was coming and she like oh yeah, he’ll be here. He’s running late. And then the last thing we see is his blue skyline like pulling up to Dom’s house. But like he doesn’t get out and it just shows his car and I’m like that’s no that’s what we should expect from like Brian’s involvement in this thing because we can’t just forget that he’s there because they didn’t actually kill him. But I think we also need like I think we need a real I would I would want to see Brian at that last barbecue
I think that would really bring it home
yeah, like this is really the end we made sure we brought it back we did it in a good way. We’re not coming back to this Dom’s not coming back. Tyrese isn’t coming back edges and coming back like everybody’s gone this is it
it’s fucking over the
rock can do what he wants and Hobbs and Shaw but that should doesn’t matter.
Pretty much it’s fucking over.
It’s over with Vince Carter in the 2000s Slam Dunk Contest over just like this show after next week
that we Oh
yeah, you got anything else on franchise before we close this one out our final movie superlatives? I do not write me neither. We talked them to death. We killed all these franchises. Some of them have been murdered, some of them died of old age. And thank you for listening. You can follow us on twitter if you have any thoughts about how franchises ended. That’s at APA something and at alone underscore podcast. As I’ve mentioned several times, let next week is our last official episode here. Other maybe one off times where we come back in the future. We haven’t figured that out yet. But the next week is the the series finale of podcast about something we’re going to be doing a clip show of a podcast about something where Nick and I will be playing clips from old episodes and trying to guess which Episode The camera will have a list in front of us so we can kind of tell and we’re gonna try and guess and whoever gets the most right gets to take home forever. The podcast about something trophy. I got a real trophy. I’ll tweet out a picture sometime.
I’m pumped to see this trophy.
I want it it’s a fucking good trophy to I bet. So yeah, we’re gonna that’ll be next week. You can follow us on Twitter for more info that’s at APA something at alone underscore podcast. I think I already said that. But that’s fine. As for our next projects, I will be moving on to the magic number is three when it comes to TV podcast. And that is where we break down season threes of different show TV show Throughout history, I mean, my friend Chris will be doing that that will start mid August. There’s a couple episodes out there like introducing the show and introducing the first show that we’re doing a season three, four, which is breaking bad. So you can head over to that stream right now and kind of hear those intro the episodes. They’re there. That’s the magic numbers three, or the magic number three. When it comes to TV, you can type in either you’ll find it on your favorite podcast app. And Nick, why don’t you tell the listeners a little bit about you are all alone.
Epic science fiction narrative podcast. It’s super dope. We’re about to drop Episode 45 Damn. So lots of content out there for you if you like a science fiction tale of you know, swords and steel and blood and violence and all that good shit. Check it out.
Started episode one Don’t do like I did. When I first found out about Nick and his show and started like Episode 13 doesn’t make sense.
Got to start to make any sense. And what I did for these folks is I went ahead and I made a compilation episode. So the first episode in that feed should be the compilation of the first eight episodes. Oh, so two and a half hours. You’re all good to go.
Nice. All right. So thank you, everyone, for listening. Thank you to those cats for providing all the music for a podcast about something. We’re gonna see you next week for our series finale, but until then,
Unknown Speaker 1:31:31
Transcribed by https://otter.ai