A film with sports as the catalyst of the story can be a good one. But it’s mostly a genre filled with cliche moments and feel good endings. One sport, however, holds up better than all others when it comes to film, and that’s boxing! So naturally it’s time for us to punch out a Boxing Movie Superlative episode! For a small list of decent boxing movies, most tend to hold up. Movies such as Rocky, of course, dominate the field when it comes to some of the best moments, opponents, and shouts of Adrian! While others tell a different story from a different point of view, one that tends to help the viewer take a walk in the protagonist’s shoes. Which fighters have the toughest of opponents? Or the dopest of cornermen? And overall, who is the best fighter, as in the character and the actor who plays them? We follow each award with our patented sucklatives, and we’re sure you’ll see what we see, even if Mickey has to cut ya!
Full Episode Transcript Available Below:
Two podcasts about support each week we dive deep into whatever it is we find interesting. I’m your host Calvin and joining me from the ring. The ring is trying to think of something more clever but I guess the ring your co host, Nick Richardson, said a boxing ring.
Yeah, I probably should specify. Probably like what kind of ring is it the One Ring ring? Well, I mean, the ring around the Rosie.
We are giving out boxing movie superlatives today. That’s why Nick is in the ring going toe to toe with Will Smith as we speak.
Every month, we give out some made up awards to different types of movies this month is boxing movies. We give a superlative and a Socrative for each category. And a circle div is just like the worst version of the superlatives, which are the best version. And we’re not allowed to give more than one movie a single award or give multiple awards to any one movie. So we’ve been doing this since I want to say August 2018. So there’s a lot of movie superlatives. There’s like one a month for six months. Yeah.
Math is not my strong. No,
I just made up a number 27 sounds right. So if you enjoy this and enjoy movies, go back and listen to any of those. We’ve done all kinds of movies. What was your favorite movie superlatives? we’ve done so far.
Honestly. My first 120 18 movie superlatives, because I know the reason being is because I took that shit was like super serious. I had like 15 pages.
So since then, you’ve just been nailing it on these movies.
He’s fucking evoke a No, no, I’ve got more experience. But I learned more about movies. I kind of got my love movies back. It was one of those things where I kind of passively watch movies over the years. I hadn’t watched anything new that was really good or, you know, needed to be seen. And then I did that. And I was like, okay, so there is good shit out there. So I’m just watching Trailer Park Boys for the 35th time.
So we’re talking specifically move boxing movies today. I don’t know what my favorite one is. I’d have to look at the list. And I still wouldn’t be able to pick I like to road trip movies. That was good.
And we’ve done a lot and yeah, we’ve done so many.
I usually don’t like the year and wrap up ones just because like those are more boilerplate awards that we’re giving. I like to give out the weird awards. We did a time travel movies. One you didn’t. You weren’t a part of that. I did that. With special guests from the movie journey podcast. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, there’s some good stuff out there.
This bunch of ones
so we’re talking boxing movies today though, and I’m a big fan of boxing movies.
Oh hell yeah.
I think most of them are pretty good too. Great. There are some there are some bores
in there for sure fucking stinkers out there, man. Let’s be real here. There’s some shit as poxy movies out there.
But as a genre what makes boxing movies great. What How do you think that kind of is superseded other sports movies in certain ways.
Because it’ll it 90% of the time. It’s a down on their luck, you know, blue collar type person who’s just trying to make their way it’s very human story most of the time, whereas, you know, pretty much every other sports movie out there is larger than life stuff like except for like white men can jump. Does Yeah. All that deep, I guess.
Right? I completely agree. You get that human interest story. It’s usually a kind of a rags to riches story that you pointed out but but it’s not always in the protagonist, protagonist has to overcome some personal trauma or what have you. And it’s always compelling. Plus, you get some good action with the you know, people straight up beating the shit out. Yeah.
gruesome shit most of the time.
And then a lot of other sports movies, battle, like the human interest part kind of gets bogged down. Because you have to pay attention to multiple teams like a football or basketball movie, you’ve got to see how the whole team is this cohesive unit and you don’t get to kind of singularly focus on any one of those things. So you get that more in depth character work with a boxing movie than you do other sports. And you also usually get a good antagonist now because they can build that relationship. You have time in a boxing movie, to spread the love between protagonist and antagonist and really build that relationship and the the rivalry behind it.
No, I mean, yeah, absolutely. Another thing I gotta say is the camera work in boxing movies. other sports movies, I should shakes around so much as they try to, I don’t know.
can be there’s some bad camera Mark unboxing movies, too. And that’s one of our, you know, that kind of goes along with one of our awards that we’re going to give out. But
there’s people that’s what that’s what you’re watching for most of the time is to see people beat the shit out of each other. It’s a fucking boxing movie. Like, that’s usually the fandom and I can’t think of the word. I hate when my brain just says no. Anyway, it’s usually you know, the focal point of the movie, they’re building up to that big match. And you got to see that shit. Otherwise, it’s just like, Man, this is stupid. But you can watch The Longest Yard when they’re running all over the place cameras shaking like crazy.
What’s going on? Yeah, I think one of the things I noticed while watching all these boxing movies back to back, I think I watched 13 or 14, no, I didn’t watch that man, because I didn’t actually watch any of the Rockies because I have. I had rewatch those a couple months ago, so I wasn’t gonna rewatch them. I wanted to get other things in and I, I’ve seen the rocky movies so many times, with awards, I was gonna give to them, I could kind of do a quick YouTube search to check the scene just to make sure. But there’s a there’s a wide variety of the cinematography used to shoot the fights of the ways that they use the camera, because I mean, these guys can’t always just be beating the shit out of each other. For the most part, they’re actors. You know, some of the fights are real, some of the punches are real. But the whole 15 round fight or whatever it is, it can’t be all real. So to work the camera in a way that makes it feel real and to build the choreography in a way that makes it feel real, is something really cool to compare from boxing movie to boxing movie.
Right. And I learned that it’s a lot harder than I thought it was. Yeah. I mean, they, a lot of them are really good, but there’s only a few that are really horrible.
And I think another great thing about boxing movies is in real life, there’s no shortage of tragic backstories for real life boxers to play off of I
know most of you have not had a good time.
Right. So there, there are tons of real life boxing stories that that you can make in there tons of fictional boxing movies that feel real because you can kind of take parts of different real boxers backstories and plug and play. And I also like that you have the built in mentor character with the manager that can do some of the emotional heavy lifting, so the boxer doesn’t necessarily have to be the next best actor in the movie always. Sometimes they are but they don’t always have to be.
I enjoy when they kind of just aren’t like the main point of exposition. I like everyone else to really work off of the boxer that main character, so they feel like they’re the son and everyone else is in orbit. And another thing I think rocky lost
that when when Mickey died. And you’ve you’ve just got Polly and Duke there are his trainers and Apollo died too. And now it’s just Paulie and Duke and it’s like, well, these guys mean nothing. They they contribute almost nothing to rocky four or rocky five or rocky six.
There’s one great line in Rocky four. Not from Paulie,
I forget the Duke. Yes. Yeah. You got to
love it. But the boxing kind of appeals to the primal side. And I gotta say, because it’s an ancient sport. I find that really fascinating. Like, people have been doing this for 1000s of years since fucking Roman times. That’s insane.
I mean, people punch each other. Right? And it’s something you can visualize yourself doing. Like, I couldn’t be the best boxer, but I could walk someone, right.
I know I can take punches and give them so there’s
Exactly. The stakes are also a lot more real in boxing, you can do real damage by getting beat at boxing, you know, you can kill people Apollo dies, right? Yeah. In Cinderella man with the guy that Russell Crowe ends up fighting. He’s killed like three people in the ring ahead of Russell Crowe and this is what back in the 30s. So it was the you know, the medical expertise around boxing wasn’t as great. But in. In a basketball movie, the worst that’s going to happen is a character is going to tear their ACL maybe. unless something happens off the court. Like obviously, people can die off the court or whatever it is shit, and it hurts, but it’s not life or death. You know, Apollo Creed fucking died in a boxing match in a movie.
Unknown Speaker 9:26
If he dies, he dies and your long
term effects of boxing are way worse than other sports too. So, you know, you can see when someone’s getting the shit beat out of them. You kind of have that in the back of your head of like, well, this guy’s gonna be messed up. Well,
we have real life examples of this shit. Like, what, 10 years ago. A guy died in the room. Maybe it wasn’t even 10 years ago. It was a couple years ago. A guy died in the ring.
I don’t remember that. But I’m not saying it wrong. I
just don’t remember. I remember hearing it on the radio a bunch. I remembered it distinctly but Like his race was a big deal. And they kept trying to tie why he wouldn’t give up the match and stuff to race and I just think that’s silly. And he just didn’t want to didn’t want to fucking lose.
These people who become professional boxers, none of them want to give up ever. Right? That’s one thing I’ve noticed in all these movies, whether they’re fictional, or based on true story like that, that’s the thing that holds all these movies together is they’re not going to stop boxing.
It’s like Nah, man, I really fucking die, but I’m gonna keep fighting. Yeah, like, yeah, I mean, and also a lot of people have seen videos of Muhammad Ali and his prime, and then videos of him as an older man, where it’s just like, Who are you? You are not even the same dude. And it’s obvious mentally.
Yeah, and I think we’re gonna get there with like the Mike Tyson’s and George Foreman. I think that’s probably coming sooner rather than later and I mean, Mike Tyson’s kind of always been crazy. So I think it’ll be interesting to see when he like fight like when it really starts to take a toll on him what that looks like, and maybe it won’t because he keeps his mind sharp and like he does a lot of things still
smoke so much weed. Dude as high as fuck 24 seven. I think he’s very much so keeping him docile. He has been in the news in a while and he sells a shirt on a wire. He’s got like a major corporation. Now.
The other thing about boxing movies before we get into the awards, is every Hollywood hunk has to take their shot at a boxing movie to show off kind of their training regiment. Get there, get that you know, beefcake roll in where they’re just showing off their body. You see it a lot. Yeah,
I’m done. Sorry, my I’ve had that sucker my that song stuck in my head all fucking I’ve said that probably 35 times. And you set me up for it. You son.
I knew that’s what I was doing. But that begs the question, why hasn’t Channing Tatum done a boxing movie
yet? I was literally just thinking that.
Yeah. But he’s the only like Hollywood hunk that we haven’t I guess Magic Mike was kind of his version of that of just like that’s true. That was wrestling but
a combat sport.
Yeah, there’s that. So let’s get to the awards. We’re gonna do five Awards Best and Worst of each. We’re giving out the best and worst opponent the best and worst fight choreography. And I think that goes hand in hand with cinematography. So how are the How are the boxes doing? And how are the how’s the camera work around
them? 30 soundscape to
like yeah, that’s important how the punches feel when you hear them? If that makes sense. The best and worst training montage? The gotta have a good training montage in a boxing movie. Absolutely. Boxing movies are nothing without training montage is
it’s literally essential. It’s like you got to have boxing gloves. Someone that fights and training and then you got to boxing movie, obviously,
this is the only three things you need. We’re gonna give our best and worst corner man and that could be a manager, cut man, anything somebody just in the corner of the boxer. And then last but not least best in worst fighter. And that’s a double category, we’re going to give out the best actor at best and worse actor. So not like how good they did of acting? It would be if we took all the main characters from boxing or main actors from boxing movies, and threw them in a deathmatch, who’s coming out on top as the same person? Yeah, it’s pretty easy, I think. And then we’re gonna do the characters as well kind of the same situation, but with the characters because even though the most badass dude might portray a character, his character might not be more badass than somebody who’s less badass in real life. That makes sense through that. I think it’ll become pretty evident what we mean by the delineation here once we get to that category.
Oh, yeah, I don’t know. You guys will pick up what we’re putting down.
Yeah. So let’s get into it. The best opponent, Nick, you go first. What do you got?
Fuck Yeah, I got Ivan fucking Drago.
Yeah, Rocky for.
I feel like we might pick several of the same things.
I didn’t pick Drago because I was pretty sure you were gonna pick Drago.
I fucking love Ivan Drago. I I grew up watching rocky movies my dad would quote rocky to me all the fucking time and rocky four was my shit man. I love that movie. reason he is the best opponent is a he kills Apollo Creed. There is that be he’s a communist from the risky area of the world not affair. And he just has tremendous stakes, you know in this fight with rocky so it’s a revenge match. It’s a patriotic match if you want to look at it that way. And it’s really just like, whose dick is bigger match. Like, look at this man. Ivan Drago is fucking huge. And they do all take so many steroids. It
says dick is not bigger than anyone’s.
He’s probably bigger than Sylvester Stallone. five foot five motherfucker
is so small like he said Carl Weathers which car was like six one and then then you throw dolphin grin in there and he just looks so tiny it looks for taking those zoomed out shots
a little ridiculous it looks like a child is fighting a grown man. Yeah like a normal size man like me that’s it’s hilarious but all those things kind of add up to him being the best opponent in my mind. Especially after you do like his his training montage you know they do his punching power tests and all that shit it’s insane.
Yeah, and on top of just being psychologically the best opponent on top like with killing Apollo Creed and the you know, the the psychological preparation rocky has to go through he’s probably physically the greatest opponent out of anyone. Maybe Victor Drago and creed two might be he might be stronger.
Or, like he gets bigger like buffer, but doc longer
felt more like a human like Dell. Fondren was like a fucking robot Terminator.
He was like a Terminator. It was it was like rocky was fighting a Russian Terminator. And I mean, he’s basically I don’t know what the Russian word for Uber mensches. But he was the Uber man. She’s the ultimate man in blond hair blue eyed. Six, Seven from jack dude, who you know, has a hot wife Swedish guy. makes millions of dollars. Yeah. Like a particle physicist.
He has so ugly are physicists. Yeah. Some type of physics training. Like he went super smart guy physics and all Yeah, he’s very smart guy. Interesting. And to beat him by beating him rocky end of the Cold War. So I think that makes him a top tier opponent as well.
100% and when you’re when you’re, you know, the dude in your corner is screaming he’s a man he could play. Like, that’s kind of a big fucking deal. At that point. They did not look at him as a man. It’s just this guy’s a machine.
I must break you.
I will break you. As soon as intimidating as fuck. If he dies, he dies. He’s ready to carry Apollo Creed. The greatest.
Drago is the most quotable rocky opponent that’s for damn sure.
He’s like 10 lines. He really does not speak very much.
Unknown Speaker 17:33
For me, for me.
I went a different route because I was pretty sure you’re gonna pick Drago I want to pick rocky for later down the line. I went rocky three clubber Lang kills Mickey. And so in the same way that rocky four is is your go to rocky three is my go to I love the Hulk Hogan fight with thunder lips. That’s really fun. I just think clubber Lang is so imposing in
not Mr. T.
Yeah, it’s Mr. T and they made him so scary as an opponent like, Drago is scary because he’s a physical specimen. clubber Lang is coming after you. You know, he’s
a bad motherfucker.
He’s talking shit. He is. He’s strong. And he’s fast. And he’s in a way he’s more intimidating than Drago. Because Drago, you just have to get past the physicality of it.
Drago feels like he’s gonna kill you. I mean, Mr. T feels like he’s going to beat you to. He’s gonna
beat you to death. He’s gonna enjoy it and then you’re gonna find your family and beat them to death
and then paying your wife to bang your wife.
Yes. Before he beats her that hope. He’s also like,
played out my head right now.
clubber Lang is more of a character than Drago ever was to they gave him somewhat of a backstory because I think by that point they didn’t want to focus on rocky knew after rocky one and rocky two they kind of shifted the focus off off of Rocky a little bit to focus more on the opponent. And he’s extremely ferocious. You know, he it really felt like he was out to kill rocky at some point and you know, he did kill Mickey. I think he gives Kevin Garnett you know who we talked about last week on our favorite NBA power forwards gives kg a run for his money in the trash talk department.
Yeah, I feel like you remember rampage Jackson from the UFC? I feel like he watched all he rewatch rocky three 1000 times. He’s like, I’m going to be that
that’s me. And then he was in the new 18 they did. He took over Mr. t’s character. Oh, that’s fucking right. Yeah, dang. So it really all fits together. And he just beats the shit out of rockin their first fight, you know, and that that lifts rocky back up to greatness in a way that the hero’s only as good as his villain. And I don’t Apollo Creed wasn’t getting that out of Rocky ever. You know, they had to move past Apollo Creed. And I think going clubber Lang is the next step in that.
Right and I think he’s he’s a really great character before you move into like, the outlandish, like he’s feasible, whereas dolphin goons carry well hey woman that’s just it’s not it’s not feasible in that sense like, right yeah
the only step up over lineman was like a literal robot.
Yeah so they’re not gonna let this little ass dude and they were like nah sorry I don’t care if he killed your buddy or what but you’re not getting that ring here about the fucking die too tiny let’s move
into the worst opponent I’ll go first here I hope we have the same person and it’s rocky five and it’s tommy gun in the street fight.
Oh no I did not.
I mean tommy gun was just a chump he got his ass beat by like a 50 year old rocky out in the streets
fascinating rock. Yeah, he’s fucking seeing visions and shit.
I’ve only seen rocky five once and it was probably six months ago was the first time I ever saw it. And you know, I I feel like rocky five had to be mentioned somewhere because it’s so bad it had to get a sucker and nothing is more subtly salacious than Tommy Gunn is
suckley shows. Yeah, he was a real fighter too.
Yeah. I think he was a wrestler.
He was a boxer and he he was known for having like crazy punching power. But
I’m sure he’s a great fighter in real life, but he was a bit rocky five
he was kind of a bitch and rocky for us. Just a little fucking asshole scumbag. Shed was a Hagan a fight a 50 year old man like that. Rocky? I don’t know if I ever ran into someone that talked like Sylvester Stallone. I would just not fuck with him. Like you. You sound like you have been beaten within an inch of your life several times. Sorry, I’m just I’m not gonna do that.
So I do have four worst opponent if it’s not tommy gun.
Billy the Blue Bear Osterman German ex prostitute in Million Dollar Baby. Who’s just a dirty fighter?
she the one that knocks her out into the stool eventually Yes,
she’s the one because Hilary Swank is fucking her up and making her look like a little German prostitute. And she’s not having that so she punches her
I like how you held back from saying bitch because it’s an actual like we can call Tommy got a bitch cuz he’s a dude but like when it came time to call the Billy the blue. What was what was her? The Blue Bear? Oscar the Blue Bear? Yeah, you couldn’t you couldn’t pull the trigger on calling her a bitch.
I like thought I’m a dad man. Way to control yourself. I try to be respectful but this I had to know you fucking You made me Calvin. Yeah, Million Dollar Baby so much. I cannot watch it might see my dad had that problem with Saving Private Ryan. One of them never brought the ammo. He’s like, I’m gonna watch that fucking movie just broke my heart. Million Dollar Baby is that way for me? It’s so boring. Fuck you, man. It is the saddest movie I’ve ever seen. So fuck is he really good Hillary, Hillary Swank movie out there.
That’s probably not true. I’m not I’m not gonna do the research. But I can’t believe that’s true. Because first of all, it’s not a good movie. And second of all, there’s got to be better. I Oh my God, I hate it so much. I watched it when it first came out in 2004. And I’m 1617 at the time and so like, obviously, that is I’m going in expecting rocky but with a woman. And I’m fine with that. But then it turned like halfway through it goes into this completely other thing. That is not that and then it’s just fucking Clint Eastwood sitting there talking to nothing for the next 45 minutes, you know, a role that he would later reprise at the Republican National Convention or he’s just talking to an empty chair. And you know, that was his practice for this. So I rewatched it for this episode. And I’m like, maybe as an adult, I can appreciate it better. No, it’s still fucking awful. It is a warning
a that doesn’t make a movie awful. Boring. I can accept people think Unforgiven and some boring movie.
Unknown Speaker 24:12
I think it’s one of the best movies of all time. cleanness was just it’s not enjoyable to watch. No way.
You’re right. 100% like I think it’s a well made movie. I find it interesting, but it is so sad. I don’t even want to watch it like what’s what’s the point? I know how terrible it’s going to be in the end. He kills her or let her die That’s terrible. Yeah, he kills her. Yeah, shoots her up. Family hates her. That’s just terrible.
I don’t know now. I don’t know how at one best picture like you said it’s well made but it’s uh, it was going against Ray it was going against the avian but this was his first one. It was against Ray The Aviator Finding Neverland in sideways. Hillary Swank won for Best Actress which I get she did a great job. Morgan Freeman was best supporting. I get that Eastwood four director, and overall best picture I can’t get behind like, I hate Clint Eastwood movies they’re all this they’re all boring.
I don’t tell you about Unforgiven that way Galvin.
I’ve never seen Unforgiven, so I can’t speak on it, but I’m sure I would find it boring.
My brand is the only good Western movie on Earth. Morgan Freeman’s in it.
Did you rewatch this recently?
Yes, I have another baby million dollar, but up to a certain point. And I was like, and I’ve done
up until she gets knocked out. And that’s like, I don’t have to watch the rest of this movie, because it’s nothing for 45 minutes, and then he kills her
10 seconds before that came. I was like, turn this shit off. Well, so I realized
Jay Baer shell Anthony Mackie and Michael Pena are in the and Mike Colter, who’s Luke Cage are all in this and it’s it. I just feel like they’re completely wasted. Because they’re all great. Like we talked about. I don’t think it was last week. It was a couple weeks ago. How Anthony Mackey’s just good in everything. Dude, he’s a treasure. And I just I feel like they just wasted all these great supporting cast with, you know, the Clint Eastwood ness of this movie.
He’s too big. He swallowed him up.
Well, not only that, he’s he’s too boring. They’re their personalities.
It’s like watching an 80 year old man deal with stuff it’s not.
I think there could have been a good way to to tell a different story in this movie of like, these two kind of over the hill guys of Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman run this gym. And it’s more about the people who come in and out of that gym and you get great appearances by Mackey and Pena and j barrows shell and and how they react to things and then they get the fighter who gets a shot Finally, and that’s all what it is. But that’s all compressed into the first 45 minutes. So the last hour and 20 minutes of it can be this grappling with the decision to killer and like they don’t even do a good job at really grappling with the morality of that he like has one conversation with the priest and then is like, yeah, I’m gonna fuckin killer. And I just
make an 18 year old Catholic man. Of course. Of course, this is one conversation he has, he’s not going to talk to anybody else.
I’m getting this all out now. So when I pick Million Dollar Baby, we don’t have to rehash all of it. But like, there’s this other thing that they do in the movie where they’ll have like three quarters of a conversation, and then they give each other this look, they stopped the conversation, three quarters of the way through, and it happens with Eastwood and Swank and Hamza Eastwood and Morgan Freeman and happens Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank. Every character does this they have like three quarters of a conversation that give each other kind of a look and it’s somewhere between affection and I’ve got to poop. And then it just jumps to the next scene. They don’t ever finish conversations in this movie. They have most of a conversation and give each other a weird look and then it’s on to the next it’s like
no no Hillary like you got to shed
light you got to I have so many problems with Million Dollar Baby I hate it and I hate that it won an Oscar and I hate it. I hate it. I hate it worst movies have won Oscars. I agree.
None of which I can name right now but I’m sure that statement is factual. Oh,
it definitely is. here so let’s move into the best fight choreography Wait,
wait, wait, Korea
you should have actually went first our worst opponent because you’re supposed to go first for both and then I go first for both. So we’ll pick that up now. I’m going first time that’s fight choreography and it’s great.
Oh, see, I was a toss up between the two Creed’s but ultimately it was something else.
Okay. I think creed is one of the best looking boxing movies ever. Ryan coogler does an amazing job of shooting the boxing scenes. Michael B. Jordan feels every bit of part of a real boxer with kind of this chip on his shoulder. And I think this kind of translate wonderfully translates wonderfully to the screen. Kugler uses a lot of over the shoulder shots rather than you know, either really wide shots or trying to get in between the boxers. He’s over the shoulder of one of the boxers. So the other person’s punching at the camera more or less. And that that is a really cool look. And it doesn’t none of the fights feel heavily cut. So on wide shots, the actors look like they know how to move and box and I think Michael B Jordan, really planned and trained for this as a boxer and a lot of his opponents are actual boxers. So that helps when they know how to move. And I think creed two kind of took a big step back there without Ryan coogler directing 100% it was not nearly as well put together from a boxing perspective. They knew people are going to show up for Drago Jr. Versus Cree Jr. They didn’t put as much care into the rest of the boxing stuff. So that’s why create wonderful I yes. Ryan coogler is fantastic. Especially when he works with Michael Jordan that they are such a team so good. And I thought this was you know, the the movement of the boxers is really good and the cinematography around them was really good.
See, I I agree with everything you said 100% and I get a lot of this out now. So I don’t have to say it later, but there was one major thing that disqualified creed In my opinion, okay, and it was the style in which they boxed It was pretty much nothing but haymakers and huge like glamour punches.
That’s literally almost every boxing movie though.
False well no that is an accurate statement that’s why it was a tough choice for me in this regard
well so that I kind of I kind of took myself out of that and there is there’s one movie that does not make haymakers well and I’ll talk about that later because I gave it a different award and maybe you’ll you’ll point that one out here. But I kind of said you know, boxing movies they know people want to watch big haymakers so I took that out of the the choreography of it it was more of they’re throwing the punches are they throwing them where they’re supposed to be throwing them right it doesn’t look like they’re actually hitting each other when they’re not
the that and just the the movement of it mean if a boxers throw another by haymakers you’re gonna keep your distance a little bit instead of just sit like Well yeah, standing there just taking that
any of these boxes in real life would be very easy to beat because you just like let them wear themselves out over like around throwing these huge
bodies man it starts striking them right and that’s usually what they go to and every boxing movie if they hit him like three times in the ribs and like Oh, fuck, I broke my ribs. I’m
done. And now we’re right back to haymakers. Yeah,
right, right back to big bloody haymakers and stuff like that. But I will say one major difference between Korean and Korean to like Korea to was a distant third for me creed was a hard second, like, right up there is the use of slow motion. Yes, looks silly as fuck. I cannot stand that in boxing movies.
I don’t mind it when it’s just the glove going into the face. But any other any wider shot than that looks stupid.
That right? And when they slow it down, it’s like okay, this is gonna be the knockout punch here is it and I rarely ever get excited for it anymore.
You never picked a best.
I wanted to get creeped out because I really enjoy a lot of things about Korea and that’s precisely overall my life. Probably my favorite boxing movie. But I went with southpaw man, okay, especially the Jake Gyllenhaal looks the part that dude is absolutely fucking ridiculously jacked in this movie. Yes. And just he has like the look of I will beat you to death with my gloved fists. And when he fights Escobar and the main the main bout, if you watch that fight, it looks like a real fucking boxing match. They the cinematography is really well done. The soundscape is amazing. Like they resonate really well. You feel those punches, and it’s technical. Like they’re, they’re jabbing they’re, you know, they’re dancing around each other. Instead of looking like pre planned punches and slides,
they throw some big haymaker Sue, and I’ll say that was a contender for me. I didn’t end up picking it. I like southpaw. I don’t think it did anything best. And the thing that sucks the most about sauce. southpaw is, it would have been so much better if m&m were in it instead of Jake Gyllenhaal. Like Joel has a great actor, but he’s not that. Like he can’t pull that character off. And Eminem was supposed to be in southpaw.
He’s supposed to be 50 cents character.
No, he was supposed to be Jake Gyllenhaal his character.
He’s supposed to be in the fighter.
The Fighter. Yeah, he was supposed to be in the fighter. Yes. Okay. Interesting. But so when I was rewatching this with it because that when I first saw it, I didn’t know m&m was supposed to be in it. But I had learned that since and rewatching it you can see where like the stuff outside I think Jake Gyllenhaal did a good job of everything inside the ring. But I think m&m would have been so much better of everything that goes on outside of the ring just like the anger at the world and what happens to his wife and dealing with his daughter and dealing with the the the Child Protective Services system and things like that,
because about an eight mile movie but a boxing instead of
well it was supposed to be a follow up like the the script was written as a follow up to eight mile and then they worked it into a boxing movie. And then by the time they got around to making it m&m was back to his music career and had to back out of it and he had even shot some scenes for it. And I think you can tell a lot of this movie was written for m&m and it would have been really interesting to see him with that with that anger and with that background and and really playing off his own past and putting his own heart into it where Gyllenhaal doesn’t have any of that in his past. It’s very hard for Gyllenhaal to pull off that those characteristics I think he does a good enough job. I just couldn’t help envisioning m&m the whole time, and how much better m&m would have been at those things?
See, I didn’t know that. And all I saw was his Nightcrawler performance. Okay, next with a like being vain. Basically, this dude is unreal. I thought Nightcrawler was a truly disturbing movie. It was fantastic. That was one of his best performances, prisoners. Also fucking fantastic.
I love john Hall, watch pretty much anything with him in it. And I like this movie with him in it. It’s just hard. Watching it knowing that that could have been me watching those scenes like the courtroom scenes and you know, all this anger and rage and abuse and mental health issues. That m&m has actually gone through having him put that on screen instead of Jake Gyllenhaal, who has been an actor since he’s 14. Born and raised in LA like he I just feel like he couldn’t tap into that as well as I’m an I’m cut off.
I mean, and that’s fair. Like I you know, I respect that. I just, I’m talking about Best Buy choreography. Yeah. And that’s, in my opinion that’s working it
and m&m would have fucked that up.
I can’t he I don’t think he and he’s a lefty. So I just I don’t know if it was well, it
wasn’t that was also why it was called southpaw is because m&m was a lefty so it would have made sense for the movie to be called southpaw. Instead of like Forrest Whitaker throwing some random one offline of southpaw.
Yeah, and then uppercut him and you wind.
I do have an honorable mention here of Rocky Balboa.
Very solid movie.
So it doesn’t look that good because Stallone is so old and slow. The choreography doesn’t. But all of the punches in that final fight were real. And Stallone was actually getting hit and he actually got knocked out by Antonio Tarver at one point, so I gave an honorable mention to the dedication to that, like they were actually boxing at that point. So unreal. Oh, he got he got sent to the hospital a few times by Drago to
Yeah, yeah, I’m pretty sure like he broke something.
And I can shave this chest in or something I want to say.
Yeah, I mean, he broke his neck like broke his spine. The center of The Expendables
is the rest of Sloan stop doing your own stunts your tool?
You’re like at bro. Stop.
Yeah, so worst fight choreography. This one I’m given the Million Dollar Baby.
We’re gonna fight now do
I fucking hate it?
Unknown Speaker 37:29
So here’s my
Million Dollar Baby in the fight choreography is the fight either looks super slow and deliberate. Like the two fighters are trying to let the other one punch them and they already know what’s coming before it comes. Or she just throws a haymaker every time and knocks out the other fighter in the first round. And that I didn’t feel like there was ever any actual choreography that
is very shaky cam to Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 37:55
not afraid of that.
I mean, it was probably Clint Eastwood really literally holding his eight year old hands he was trying to hold it steady just fucking could.
He’s gonna wind up cameras. Fuck you. To see Clint Eastwood.
Unknown Speaker 38:12
Shake it away. Just
take yourself out of the movie in the story that’s being told and watch some of those fights and and you’ll see like the fights are boring. They’re they’re very deliberate. You can tell that they’re 90% I don’t know all the rocky movies do a pretty good job of feeling realistic
about all that. And I’m about to say exactly why.
Unknown Speaker 38:36
Okay, you can say rocky five absolute rocky twos
got pretty bad choreography?
Yes, it does. Rocky twos the worst one out of like, putting a movie together.
It’s not good cuts. And it’s honestly I just I enjoy rocky to way too much. I couldn’t can do that too. I could nominate it for Worst of anything. But yeah, Rocky five man. Whoa, I really watched that street fight and it’s just like, what the fuck am I watching? Who put this shit together? Like it was due to legit boxer and he’s up he looks ridiculous.
It looks like a student film that they had no idea how to like shoot a movie outside.
Like Okay, he’s gonna act like he hits you but he’s not really kind of
effects going on the whole time it
Yeah, it’s the camera. It’s just the cutting is weird. It’s like that scene of Liam Neeson. Chopping over the fit. You know that scene I’m talking about.
Unknown Speaker 39:39
I think it’s taken where it cuts like.
So to piggyback on that, I have an honorable mention. It’s grudge match for exactly that. And I don’t know that this counts because it’s too old dudes. And there’s only so much that these two can do with the New York On Stallone being in their 60s and 70s, it looked out, it looked pretty good, but a lot of it looked like they threw one punch, and then they just had to sit down for 10 minutes. And Alright, let’s let’s shoot the next punch and let’s shoot the next punch. I think they did the best with what they had. It wasn’t good, though.
I mean, this was 10 years before the Irishman when dinero looks like he can barely lift his fucking leg.
It was like I think I want to say grudge match was like 2013 2015 something like that.
To me at least five years. Yeah, always closer to that. It’s
not a good movie. It is not as bad as I had never seen it. So like, yeah, I’ll watch it. We’re doing boxing movies. I might as well watch it. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. It’s not good, but
I just I can’t stand those old men fighting. It drives me nuts. Like, have you seen the Irishman? No. So there’s a scene where you like this dude talk shit to his daughter. So he takes him outside. And he’s kicking him in the face. And it looks like he’s trying He’s like, trying to stretch his leg out from a piece of gum that got stuck. He’s like, ah this dude’s on the ground. It’s like
Unknown Speaker 41:12
oh my god.
It’s like in Captain Marvel with the DEA aged Samuel Jackson when he’s like running through the hallways and you can very clearly tell that that’s a seven year old man trying to run with a 40
year old man looking Okay, just looking at man.
I thought I was gonna watch the Irishman and then I’m like, it’s like three and a half hours long. I’m not very interested in any of it. But saying that I did sit through the four hour Zack center Justice League
so look up just google Irishman kicking scene and there’s a one second GIF of it. Like the fourth result.
Oh, that’s pronounced GIF. So let’s move on to the best training montage
from Jeff cat. The best training montage most people would choose a rocky in this but I went a different direction. I went with Mickey Mark Wahlberg’s character from the fighter dudes training like a regular man. I mean, he’s training his entire body he’s
Unknown Speaker 42:12
You see what I’m saying? He looks fucking ridiculous. He’s not doing ridiculous ship I hidden big cuts of beef or pulling cars or any lead dumb as shit. He’s serious as fuck. And he’s doing work. He’s going out and he’s doing work. I like Creed’s you know, training montage and a lot of Rockies. But I think he’s got two fantastic songs and it’s like a two minute scene.
And we’re gonna have issues here a
whole lot a whole lot of jump rope and just normal stuff man. Like, yeah reminded me of more of like a Spartan training regimen where it’s, you’re an all around, well rounded person instead of Creed’s really is fantastic. It’s Crete is really good.
It is really good. I look, everything you said is true. But I disagree completely. And I’m just gonna leave it at that. Because I’ll have more on it in a minute. So I’ll shift to my best montage I guess instead of diving deeper on the fighter because because I promise we’ll do that in a minute. I went with rocky for
that’s all I mean, that was a really tough one. For me.
This is just a central training montage. It’s it’s been parodied to death. You know, scaling the mountain to the survivor soundtrack is never going to get old. Which one is that?
I have the tiny
Yeah, that’s an that’s an rocky three. Rocky four is fighting hard now I think but eight oh, no.
See? What i the only reason I did not pick that is like I said already do trading his whole body whereas Rocky, it looks like it looks like he’s bodybuilding. Like he’s training to be the biggest fucking dude on the planet and
well he has to be the fucking robot he’s going against I mean he got perfect music you got the back to the basics training so shredding Yeah, he’s training out in this this log cabin. You got the setting of the mountains in Russia is is really cool very beautiful. You know the I just don’t know that. There’s much more to say. Like the reason that it’s parity so much is because everybody knows it and it it resonates so far. And not only do they parody it but every other movie has built off of that one and you could say it was built off the first rocky training montage which which is another good contender. But I think rocky for perfected the montage because that movie is literally 75% montage.
Yeah, pretty much it’s it. I love the beard and everything like it looks like it’s really costing him something for sure. Yes, like physically like it. He is killing himself. And that’s also another reason I didn’t pick it is people are you got to be slow and steady man. I think I think the fight is
with us with who actually trained the best rather than which one looks the coolest with what looks the coolest and what’s the best kind of scene? That looks the coolest?
I don’t know why. I mean I just I remember doing shit like that for football and I thought that she was cool like it to become a more I think that is cool like to get to that point where you’re just a more well rounded fighter and the aspects that go into becoming that I find cool instead of being this just physical ridiculous specimen who I mean his shoulders are like six feet wide. It’s ridiculous.
That makes sense. What do you for the worst training montage?
Worst training montage for sure is okay, I’m gonna rip on this movie for a good three and a half minutes and then I’ll show the lead for this with Miles Teller teller Aaron Eckhart
so that was that was the last movie on my list. And I didn’t I’ve seen movies but I didn’t rewatch it so I did so none of those scenes were fresh in my mind and I had a pretty good idea of the awards I was given out already so I was like okay, I’m not gonna watch that
again. This one came to mind immediately first off Miles Teller with his dark stash Get the fuck shave that goddamn thing bro. Aaron Eckhart
are not like really bad miles tellers fine. Like oh, Eric cards very bad in that movie.
No, I can’t stand Miles Teller in that either. And the reason why it’s the worst training montage is he’s got a halo on I mean, he’s got a neck brace. It’s so yeah, it’s so much like it’s meant to be really cool. But there’s two points in that movie that make me just want to be like okay, come the fuck on with this dumb loser shit. where he’s you know, he he benches the bar and it’s like
hey, some people can’t bench the bar neck back off.
He tried to tell me something.
I haven’t done a bench press since I was a freshman in high school probably.
But I just I thought that was really stupid like it looks really dumb with this man in a hail it like I get it. The stakes are high like you. You went the distance you make this come back from miraculous stuff. But bro, you’re older. And you just creamed your pants. And then later in the movie when he he’s getting his ass what like the whole fucking time and then he’s just like, yeah, you know, I am. I am pretty good at boxing and then he comes out crushes him for I don’t know, 10 seconds. And then he’s just just being super hard. Dumb. Stupid. So it’s like your your bar.
How bad are saying it is it makes me want to watch it again. Because like, I don’t remember the movie being that bad. I remember it being fine. And I think I watched it on airplane. So I probably wasn’t paying perfect attention to it.
Who the fuck you are? I’m gonna show you who the fuck. Yeah,
watching. It’s watching like a six out of 10 movie on an airplane automatically bumps it up to like an eight out of 10 because like there’s nothing else to do on the airplane. So you’re kind of like,
watching movies and drinking.
Yeah, you’re in this weird space where it’s like, yeah, this is great. This is my entertainment. It’s better than this dude next to me. So yeah, this is great entertainment, no matter how bad the movie actually is. So I haven’t had an airplane moving on time.
Unknown Speaker 48:19
Unknown Speaker 48:21
Yeah, they had a and I remember I used to fly down to Oklahoma twice a year and they had there was this one movie where they like crash a plane in the Arctic or not the Arctic but in the mountains and they’re like living in the plane. I remember that distinctly.
There’s monkeys with ninja stars.
Now I wish though,
but that was the rejected pitch for anchorman. Oh, it was supposed to be a part of it where they crashed in the mountains and then were attacked by monkeys with ninja stars.
I’m for it. Paul Rudd talked about the hot ones. What didn’t he?
I think so. I’ve heard Adam McKay talk about I’ve heard that will ferrell talk about
it? Before it
Yeah, the only choice worse and worse than anchorman two.
I did I never watched it. It’s not
very good. My worst training montage you’re never gonna believe this is the fighter.
Because you think you’re boring is fuck?
Yeah, it’s got a bad song. It can’t hear me knocking by the Rolling Stones and sidebar here. I don’t think I like the Rolling Stones very much the song before that. The song before it’s okay. Chili peppers. Come on. Yeah, that one’s okay. But they do they switch between two songs. And that’s great.
That’s the only good Rolling Stone song out there.
Yeah, and it’s not fucking good at start me up is better but okay.
It’s catchy AF
and neither am I very good. I don’t like the Rolling Stones. You can at me it’s at APA something on Twitter. They’re not doing literally sorry.
No one our age likes a Rolling Stones. And if you do, I’m going to call you a
liar. Yeah, you’re wrong. I think like it’s Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale Run for like 15 seconds and then we get some shots of London like some generic ass shots of London and broken then we get very little work again like actual blood work against Christian Bale with the with the pad gloves and that’s it two weeks all
he’s all muscle memory do he’s just brushing up he’s not killing himself before the match
the fighters very good though, and it was it was the start of the David O Russell and Christian Bale partnership and you know the start of the bale. What’s that? Rachel McAdams
know Amy Adams. That’s when Rachel McAdams is the one in southpaw.
This is also kind of in the middle of the Christian Bale. I’m going to wildly fluctuate my weight and appearance for each role. He had the machinist around them Batman and this where he’s just going back and forth on his weight and then he went into American Hustle where he put on a bunch of weight
crazy Batman again. Yeah.
But that like the fighter isn’t really a boxing movie. I mean it is it’s about a boxer obviously
that is literally all it’s about is boxing.
Well it’s more about his family life and drama for the brothers and then you know the boxers and I but that’s what makes boxing movies great right is boxing is rarely the sole focus of the movie. It’s it’s more of a vehicle to tell these in depth human stories. And I think the fighter does a good job of encapsulating this and people did technically box in it, so it qualifies, but there’s very little actual fighting there’s there’s one training session in one fight within the first hour. And that fight is just Mark Wahlberg getting his ass kicked by the guy twice his size and then there’s three matches total throughout the movie.
I mean, that’s I mean,
there’s one of the worst training montage ever so
I will agree to disagree.
Unknown Speaker 51:51
That’s the word agree on that corner, man.
Well, let’s jump the best corner man. I don’t think we will. Because I did not pick Mickey I go first year I went with Ray our cell played by Robert De Niro in hands of stone. Never seen that movie. It is really good. This was the first time I watched it. Because I when it came out around the same time as bleed for this and miles telecare miles Teller’s character in bleed for this fight, Roberto Duran who’s the main character of Hansa stone, so I was gonna kind of do like a back to back and I just never got around to watching hands and stone. And then so this gave me a reason to and I didn’t know dinero was even in it. But you know, dinero or Marcel, he teaches Roberto Duran about strategy or strength. It’s a chess match. Not, you know, just a brute contest. It’s not a brawl. Yeah, he he does this thing in his first match where he combs Durant’s hair to kind of seek out the opponent because the opponent just thought he beat you down for three minutes. And now you come out with this fresh cut. It’s gonna piss him off. That was his his thinking behind combing his hair between damas Fuck, I worked for Roberto Duran ever last. Well, except when he quit.
Who the folks who were like, Damn, this dude’s got some fresh eyes hair, can’t even do it anymore.
So he trains dragon even though some American mobsters have threatened him to leave boxing, because he wanted to like expand boxing and make it a more not worldwide, but like America wide sport. And these mobsters want to kind of control it from the New Jersey, New York area. He continues to get threatened and still continues to train Duran for free because he’s not actually. Like, their whole problem was if he makes money off of boxing, they’re gonna basically kill his family and he decides to just keep teaching him for free because he thinks he thinks that’s important. And he doesn’t want to break the deal he made he’s very knowledgeable. And that brought me to like Robert Nader has been in a lot of boxing movies. So I’m wondering if he’s actually this knowledgeable about boxing.
Robert De Niro as a younger man would fuck you up? If you got in a fistfight, he would probably box you.
Yeah, but I’m wondering like the boxing strategy and things like that from being in Raging Bull and being in this movie, you know, does he retain all this information? Or is it just like gibberish on a script to him that he reads and moves on with his life?
Um, I’m sure it’s cuz he’s played a lot of physical characters. I think honestly, that’d be some just to add for his profession.
Yeah, and I know he’s not like he’s not like this big method guy like Daniel Day Lewis or anything like that, where they get super deep into character. I’m guessing like, are wondering if a real fighter approached him? Would he be actually be able to help train him in any meaningful way with all this stuff? He’s kind of picked up from working on all these boxing movies.
I think so. I don’t think he’s going to be the best trainer out there. But I think he could he could give some tidbits. Yeah,
I agree with it.
And you know, in this movie, Ray ourselves, he’s not afraid to call everyone out bullshit. You know, one of the managers tries to reschedule the sugar a match before Duran is ready because it’s big money. And you know our soul kind of calls him out and tells him his bullshit he only cares about money blah blah blah Duran doesn’t want to fight for money he just wants to win you know and he’s he’s tired of working and Duran is tired of working so hard now that he’s made it like he just wants to take it easy so our cell tries to pump the brakes on it while these other people are trying to push this rematch with with Sugar Ray Leonard forward because shouldn’t raise pissed that he lost the takes the heat when Duran walks away mid fight, because Duran had already lost the fight in his head. He says, you know, that’s it’s the no mob, the famous no mouse fight. That’s Roberto Duran, which I didn’t really understand till I watched this movie. And then I went back and watch the 30 for 30 on it. And then so because he’s a real guy that the trainer that it’s based on, has all these accolades, which I just want to run through real quick. He trained over two he’s the first trainer to ever be inducted in the Boxing Hall of Fame. He’s trained over 2000 fighters over 70 years, including 20 world champions.
sent out a high percentage,
I guess, but 2000 fighters is huge.
Yeah, but only they cannot be world champions. Not a high percentage there but Phil Jackson’s got a better percentage,
I guess. I think hands a stone. It’s a it’s really interesting because a lot of boxing movies, you fall heavyweight so it’s big punch after big punch. Like we were talking about haymaker after haymaker, Roberto Duran was a welterweight. So
yeah, says hands yeah be made of stone.
There’s difference. This is one of the few movies that uses different choreography and cinematography, to kind of track the movement in the fights. And it felt like there was always more going on around and it wasn’t just going to be who throws the last big punch, you know, like a real boxing match field. And the camera work was super frenetic. It did these this was something I hadn’t seen before these beltline shots, so it’s right at like the fighters belt instead of over their shoulder or wide shot. That’s interesting. And so it’s kind of like in the middle of them while they’re grappling and throwing these little, you know, bunny punches inside jabs at each other. It still hurts. Oh yeah, it makes you feel the intensity of these fights that don’t feature huge punches. And you know, the other thing that happens in this movie and it happens in life so that’s why it happens in the movie or happened in real life. He wins early rather than lose the first big fight and then have to come back for that so he wins early against Sugar Ray Leonard and so it’s cool to kind of see a different take and to see the fallout from winning big early because that’s very different than losing and having to come back and win his he wins early and then doesn’t want to keep fighting but they kind of forced him into this other fight. And you see how that messes with his head and I thought that was really cool.
Or just the complete underdog who never has a chance any right you know like rocky right?
It’s this whole movie is like the first half of Rocky three where he’s he’s fighting all these chumps and then all of a sudden he gets his chance against clubber Lang and he beat you know clubber Lang piece of shit, I’m because he’s gone soft. Like, that’s what happens at the end of this movie, is Roberto Duran is gone soft, because he won and he doesn’t care anymore. Like he made his money. He became the champion. He He’s just done with it. And they wouldn’t let him be done with it.
People, everyone else had stakes in it.
So what is your best corner, man?
Mickey? Yeah, fucking Mickey obviously. I mean, he knows when to push rock. He really knows what rock needs. He knows he genuinely loves Rocky. And I think that’s rocky would not be rocky without Mickey. And he had the best speech.
Yeah, subcategory here. So go for it.
I mean, this is where rocky two comes in for me and get when he basically him and Apollo are fighting. I just love how casual it starts with you know Rocky’s just, he’s not really even sweating yet. He’s just kind of casual. And he’s like, you can’t, you can’t be hurt because you’re too tough. Rocky’s like, this. Guy’s good. He’s great. But I love that impression. You know, it’s fun. It’s great. He’s like, No, listen, he’s only a man. You can beat him because you’re a tank kid. You’re a greasy fast. 200 pound itallian tank. Go through them. run over them. It should is raw.
Meredith Burgess is world class stick man too. According to Michael Rapaport.
He my dad used to say that shit to me when I played football all the time. That used to hype me up
but your stick man?
Unknown Speaker 59:39
A little bit stick man.
So no, no, no, no, no. So what Michael Rapaport was saying about Meredith Burgess is that he’s no he’s lying some day.
I mean, Michael Rapaport would know all about it. This fucking slice so much dick.
Unknown Speaker 59:59
Oh my god.
I just like the idea of stick man mean
that was a decent Michael Rapaport.
Yeah that was that was better than your rocky I would say I’m gonna have to hit rock he was very bad. Oh my god You better work on that before we do Michael Rapaport movie superlatives.
Just go ahead and break my jaw and then I’ll start talking like rocky no problem
my sub category here best corner man motivational speech and this does not count against the movies that we pick you could still pick one of these if you picked them in a sub category it was rocky three with Apollo thrown out I have the tiger he you know single handily brings rocky back from the brink Brink after Mickey’s death. And you get the iconic Eye of the Tiger it’s it’s a great speech.
Unknown Speaker 1:00:46
It’s the greatest
this scene of Liam Neeson I’ve just left it on a loop for like the past 15
just have that and the Robert De Niro kicking the guy.
I got literally both is cutting so wait.
Did you have anything else to say about Mickey?
Really? he’s just he’s not. Yeah, he’s great speeches. Mickey’s awesome.
Yeah, he’s, he feels like a boxing trainer.
Because he I’m pretty sure he’d like legit Well, I know he box. I don’t know if he was a boxing trainer. Yeah, later in life, but I mean, dude was legit. And he just sounded like a boxing trainer. Like I imagined sailors and boxing. Yeah, there’s probably talk like that. There’s also
the penguin in the old 1966 Batman.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:37
Yeah. And I think I’ve been calling him Meredith. Meredith Burgess. But his name’s Burgess Meredith. So I had it backwards. just clarify that for all the people who are coming after me on twitter right now.
Yeah, big response while they’re listening to this. All right. All right. Yeah, man. You made it.
So worst corner, man. I went with Paulie from Rocky Balboa. That really Paulie in any movie. The poly doesn’t really know much about actual boxing.
Nine shoes. Go ahead a guy named Paulie
Yeah, that rock is like yeah, whatever you can be at my core.
I guess I mean, that’s what you get to do. I miss Adrian a lot so
like I get why when you when you’ve still got Mickey and you’ve still got like real people in your corner Duke or whoever why ring Pauline but none of those people are there anymore by Rocky Balboa but Polly is still there and Polly knows fucking nothing I choose is terrible walkout music forum and walk up music is everything in boxing that sets the tone and he’s got this definitely weird, like an Irish jig or something going on? Very strange.
He’s like I’m attacked. I talion
you know, I like I get it rocky feels like he owes him something. But at some point just get a real trainer and let Polly sit in the front row.
topology. Good job. Yeah, like do get a job you bumped by him is that mean? He’s been fucking mooching off rocky for 15 years? fuck out of here. Polly. You bombed get a job. Who should
have for worse?
Fucking Paulie. Paul him senator Cinderella man.
What? Love Paul Giamatti
to know he’s the wackiest fucking corner man. He saw his strategy at quiet moments. He disregards what his fighter wants, which it by extent is what his fire needs. Never been a fighter himself and he just gives terrible fucking advice. I love it. I love Paul Giamatti, too, but he’s fucking terrible as a corner man in the center. Oh, man. Terrible.
So it’s my hot take here. Center. Oh, man, not a good movie.
I hate Rene’s Oh, you’re so fucking Oh, she
was very bad. And I think it might actually be more boring the Million Dollar Baby. And I didn’t I didn’t think that was possible.
It’s Russell Crowe. He’s great in that.
He’s good. This is only a year after Million Dollar Baby. So it’s 2000 $5 million. Baby was 2000 for the I guess the mid 2000s they went through this phase of we’re not going to tell the rocky story anymore. So we’re just we’re about to make all the extra stuff around boxing super boring and painful and barely focused on the boxing. So like Million Dollar Baby. We’ve already talked about how painful all the stuff around boxing is Cinderella man, we’re gonna set in the Great Depression. Yeah, which like awful is the worst possible time to try and set a movie. It’s bleak and
depressing as fuck.
I think it’s I think it’s very difficult, maybe impossible to make an interesting story that happened during the Great Depression captivating in any meaningful, meaningful way.
Those captivating as shit, man. I love that. I identified with that man. Yeah, I did.
kids got rickets or whatever the hell they had in the Great Depression. I thought they had scurvy. I might have been scurvy. I don’t know. alive. I’m not doing well, Renee Zellweger made the Great choice of sending them to her sisters and to her parents. And Russell Crowe comes in. He’s like, pissed off that she took the foot that she took her kids to a safe place rather than freezing to death in their homes.
Listen, I would send my kids away. I would have my daughter way if I needed to 100% but I would be pissed about it because I as a father could not
but I wouldn’t blame her. I’d be pissed at the situation that that like, I was shitty to that point. I wouldn’t be my wife. I made the decision to send her away.
I would so be pissed at her. And then 10 minutes later, but like, I’m really sorry, that was inappropriate. I’m just lashing out because I’m upset because I feel like a failure.
I love Paul Giamatti. He’s great. He even made Fred Claus watchable.
I cannot stand that when he’s just screaming all the strategy when it’s quiet. Do we shut the
thing I noticed watching 13 boxing movies in a month is that really the only advice from corner man is get out of the corner and get off the ropes.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:04
Watch his hands.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:05
Get your hands
Unknown Speaker 1:06:08
get all throats.
Unknown Speaker 1:06:11
Hands up. Block.
So let’s look at the subcategory here out of the way worst corner man motivational speech I will Mickey from rocky three. Mickey just takes all the wind out of Rocky sails before the first fight with clover. Like he’s ready to go fight clover and make he’s like Nah, I’m fucking moving out of here. He tells him he’s gone soft. That his 10 title defenses were basically against cupcakes. He tells him that you’ll he says he’ll knock you tomorrow rock and rocky wasn’t ready to rock. Yeah, he wasn’t ready for the fight before that. And then he shares how he wasn’t ready for it after Mickey gets done with him. It is the quintessential anti motivational speech.
He really does shit all over him. That is a good speech.
It’s a great speech, but it is not motivational whatsoever.
Rocky, I just felt like Sylvester Stallone in that scene was just like, Yeah, whatever. He’s told me. He’s like, I don’t give a fuck, dude. You’re you’re turning into a Twinkie and you need to be a howhow. Can you be hard on the outside sun?
Did you have a worse motivational speech?
No, I really. I mean, just Paul Giamatti. Talk.
Unknown Speaker 1:07:24
Unknown Speaker 1:07:25
Alright, what is he talking, laughing every fucking time he sets off. That
is Paul Giamatti. Man.
It’s great. It’s an 11 every fucking time.
I mean, did you see him in the amazing Spider Man two is the rhino.
That was horrible. It was great. It was awful.
Alright, so on to the final category. And it’s a double category. So this is the best fighter and what we want to do, like I said, at the top is we want to say, if all these people are matched up against each other, who wins the most fights if it’s a street fighter tournament, who’s coming out on top? And we did for actors and characters. So you go first with your actor,
Oh, that where I went,
dude, I feel like Michael B. Jordan would fuck you up. He would fuck me up for sure. I agree. He went with who?
I said I agree that Michael B Jordan would would fuck either of us up. But here’s somebody who wouldn’t me you got to take them at the time of the movie. Right? So I mean, well, Michael Jordan, that’s our problem. But my guy I picked Russell Crowe in Cinderella man. You can’t take Russell Crowe now because obviously my Jordan would beat the shit out Russell Crowe now, but Russell Crowe is not someone you want to fuck with. Especially when he’s in peak boxing condition. This guy’s from Australia. No one’s I mean,
we have a recording of him throwing a phone. That’s just that’s just downright degeneracy there. Calvin. Michael Jordan, I think would just do work on that dude.
I don’t think so. Man. I think you get heavy you get an anger flowing. I think he’s he’s taken out on you. And I think you know, honorable mention here in the actor category is Denzel Washington in the hurricane. Hmm. He was yoked in hurricane.
I’ve seen many bits and pieces. It’s
so good. And it’s an underrated boxing movie in and really movie overall. It’s not there’s not a lot of boxing in it. It. I think that was the first time I ever saw Denzel Washington and a movie came out in like 1998. And I was 11 at the time. So like, I wasn’t seeing what Denzel Washington was in at that time. But I saw this and I kind of instantly fell in love with his ability as an actor. He does an amazing job of embodying both the boxer and the wrongfully imprisoned prisoner in this movie. And you know, there’s apparently a lot of inconsistency with the story of the murder and the investigation portrayed in the movie versus you know what actually happened. But I don’t think that should take away from Denzel performance there and the boxing scenes. You know they’re few and far between but those are all still done really well too. And I just want to point out Denzel three year run from 1998 to 2000 this these are the movies he got game. The Bone Collector the hurricane Remember the Titans then Training Day
wasn’t fallen in 98
yeah phone was in there but I excluded it because it’s not good.
You shut your fucking No, I will not accept that from you. No, sir.
Unknown Speaker 1:10:27
I’m you watch that. Goddamn. I’ve
never seen it I’ve heard it’s bad. What?
How are you gonna tell me it’s not good and you’ve never seen a son
it’s like Denzel was literally training for his Oscar win that he got with train like each movie. I’ve never seen I’ve seen training day I just between he got game Okay, he got game following the Bone Collector, the hurricane Remember the Titans then training day? I think he’s taking these steps with each performance. That he by the time he gets a train day. It’s like, okay, I’ve done the work. Give me my fucking statue. And it gets pay me. And you can you can see by watching this group of six or seven movies kind of the progress he makes from movie to movie to get him there. And it’s
100%. Then Zell is also a national treasure.
I wrote Dan Zell and one of my notes.
racist. It’s not his name cow.
I know. I my fingers are fat. I hit it. A instead of me typing on my phone. Alright, so Russell Crowe versus Michael B. Jordan. In the final bout of the Street Fighter tournament. You’ve got Michael B. Jordan. I’ve got Russell Crowe. Alright, Denzel Washington gets knocked out in the second last round by one of them. I could see that happening.
I can see Russell Crowe and all okay, Russell Crowe verse Denzel Washington now that would be an even better fight. Yeah. And their primes, like Gladiator Russell Crowe. Verse Training Day Denzel Washington. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:11:58
That’d be nasty.
Alright, so let’s move to the character that you think would win Mortal Kombat
fuckin Adonis creed.
That was I mean, that that one codes. I
agree. But I disagree. And here’s why I disagree. Because the the real answer is Adam from real steel. Robots gonna beat everybody’s ass. So that’s I
you know, I considered Real Steel never finished it though. I watched the first 35 minutes of it and just never got to come back to it. I do want to go
watch that future movies. And, you know, I as far as a boxing movie, it’s not. It’s not as much a boxing movie as it is a future movie. So I didn’t it’s hard to compare it to these other boxing movies because it’s robot boxing. So it’s so different. That it doesn’t make sense in a lot of these categories. Yeah, but I agree with Adonis crew, and I went with a ninth grade from Korea to because first of all, I already picked creed for something else, but Michael B. Jordan is absolutely jacked out of his mind in Korea too.
Well, he’s jacked out of his mind, but he’s still really lean. Yes. Like he’s not rocky for jacked where he just looks. Now is
He looks like the overmatch Yeah, dude is the physical specimen. He’s long, that long. But he’s Lee’s law super strong.
He’s got long arm he’s got reach, which is you know, an underrated quality. He’s one of the taller actors I think.
Is he perfect?
Yeah. And so I don’t know five foot five. The thing I read is Carl Weathers who plays Apollo Creed is six one. So I think I think that’s the range you need to be to win, you know, a fight against so many of these other fighters that we’re going to have I think that reaches only going to help him. He throw in the desert CrossFit session. He does. You know, you got Duke Jr. and rocky in your corner. I don’t think anyone stopping.
No. Adonis is when he’s calling Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah, he he bridges the gap between the heavyweight fighters that we see in most boxing movies and the lighter weight fighters like Roberto Duran and Micky Ward that are kind of more interesting to watch in real life. So I think Adonis can stand toe to toe with any one of those other boxers. He’s quicker than a rocky or Russell Crowe, and he’s bigger than Roberto Duran or Mickey, Mickey ward. So he, like I said, he bridges that gap. And I think he can beat any one opponent.
at a time. He’s more of a much more of a technical fighter than I think anyone else on the list too. And he’s very good, tactically, and his ability most every other fighter walks right into these fucking punches and he is so good at slipping them. It’s nasty. The dancing around it.
Who do you think is in the final round with him?
That’s a really good question. I said I totally see. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 1:15:11
I think just off pure rage. I think Michael B. Jordan would probably break blueprints. Yeah, there’s that. I would pay to see Michael B. Jordan beat up Mike Miles Teller. That’d be funny.
That’s a first round. that’s a that’s a one c versus 16 c now.
That’s a you know, first 32nd knockout. Yeah.
I think Jake Gyllenhaal can match Michael B. Jordan on the reach, though. I think Jaylen Hall is taller than a lot of these guys.
Yeah. I mean, he just looks ridiculous to
Alright, so let’s do last category worst fighter double category again, who’s who’s the first one bounced in these tournaments that we just talked about for actors. So you got
I got he’s also six foot, gentlemen.
Oh, yeah. That’s me.
I got Christian Bale.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:00
I think I think the man is angry. But I think he’s a proper English gentleman. And he would probably get his I don’t think anyone’s really ever fought him. Because he’s such. Like,
Kenny, he’s also not the main character. Is he? He’s He’s a co manga. He’s a fighter in the fighter.
You don’t have the fighter without he’s
also key. Yeah, that’s true. I went with Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone from grudge match.
Unknown Speaker 1:16:28
That’s good one. To 70 Plus,
dude’s are not gonna stand a chance against anyone else. It’s pretty simple.
Now I beat the shit out of the seven year old man on my worst day.
You could shut out your old guys. Dude. I
would fuck it. Man. Give me 15 beers the night before and give me nothing to eat for 48 hours. I will still crush a 70 year old man.
So let’s move character. So you got four spider four characters.
I also got Dickie fighter literal. Yeah, the crackhead man. I would fucking toss that dude around like a rag doll. It wouldn’t be not even fun. He was
a close contender for worse corner man to like literal crack addict is a bad person to have in your corner.
Unknown Speaker 1:17:11
Yeah, he’s not tied.
I went with this one’s off the board. I don’t know. You probably have seen this movie. Tommy Kincaid from resurrecting the champ.
Never heard of that movie.
No, it’s it’s good. It’s Samuel L Jackson. And
I knew he had a boxing match.
What the fuck is his name from Pearl Harbor? Josh Hartnett? No Josh Hart.
I’ve heard that name. He’s actually gonna be in a new movie that looks pretty good, which is
nice. Josh Martin is a hoarder who comes I’m just gonna keep going comes across this homeless guy who claims he is battling Bob Satterfield. He’s not really Bob spoilers. He’s not battling Bob Satterfield, he’s this other guy, Tommy Kincaid. And he used to be the champ. And so he writes this whole story about this guy who’s down on his luck. And, you know, he used to be the champion. Now. He’s homeless in Colorado, blah, blah, blah. And so the reason he’s the worst fighter is because he was so bad as a boxer in real life, that he had to pretend to be a different boxer to try and gain some respect. And then he also gets the shit kicked out of him multiple times by some like, frat boy dude, bro, who’s just like drunk and drives up on him out of nowhere, and just like randomly decides he’s gonna beat up this old homeless guy every once in a
while in a fight right now, dude, man, bro.
Pretty much. And you know, I don’t care how old and homeless you are. If you were ever a professional boxer, you should be able to win a fight against any Joe Schmo that waltzes on you down the street.
And I see all these videos man of old men that are in their 70s 80s that beat the shit out of these black robbers and stuff. Yeah, look that up. They’re everywhere. These little men fuck people up constantly.
Yeah, they’re all in the Marines and during World War Two, and they’re all boxers in the Marines for summary.
Yeah, all Gold Glove because there’s nothing else to do.
Every story is I was a cook in the Marines, or I was a boxer in the Marines.
My grandpa was a cook. When we were when I was young, he killed someone with a goddamn frying pan.
Like Rapunzel out there?
Yeah, I don’t believe it. It wasn’t in World War Two though. It was just like a Tuesday. Like this guy tried to take my fucking beans and I wasn’t having it because I want to beanie weenies.
And I mean, Samuel Jackson’s character he shows this ability when he knocks Josh Hartnett out cold at one point but he can’t knock out this crap with that rolls up on him drunk randomly.
Oh Samuel Jackson. So homeless.
He’s the old homeless guy Josh Hartnett is a reporter who writes the story on it there’s there’s no actual boxing together. Yeah. There’s no actual boxing in the movie other than these like street fights that they get it
In the scripts,
yeah, really good movie. It really interesting. Yeah. Okay, so let’s flow into what would you do? First thing we got to ask what is the best walk up music going into a fight friend of these movies?
Any rap song? Pretty much any rap song and it it’s got to be a rap song.
Yeah, for the most part Real Steel does a great job it has to like collapse which Floyd Mayweather has used in the past and it’s never not good as a walk up song.
It’s a rap song.
There you go. Yeah, the kid does a just atrocious walk up dance to the song, but that’s fine.
I mean, he not gonna say that.
It reminded me of these. These hip hop dances my college girlfriend used to create. She was she led this dance, not a dance crew really. But like at this wasn’t a youth group. It was a young adult church group, right? And she read the lead the dance team. And she would make these dances and they were so bad. They looked like this kid in real steel. And she had so little self awareness about that type of stuff. And like, I’m okay with like you doing things because you enjoy them regardless of your skill level. I think this podcast is a pretty good example of that. But at some point, you have to realize that this sucks, but it’s still fun. Also, like this podcast, she did not have to suck,
I guess rules.
She had very little self awareness that I suck at this, but I enjoy doing it. So I’m going to keep doing it. She was like, Nah, this is the best fucking dance ever. Like, that’s hilarious. Okay, JC just
get more and more. Like it wasn’t a youth group.
Because they’re not used. They’re like 1920 year olds, but it’s his church group. But it wasn’t a real church. It was like a it was like a prayer group. I guess. It was weird, man.
Pray and dance.
I like rocky for living in America, too, is really great. I don’t know that the songs good outside of that context. In the context of Rocky four, it’s
perfect. Yeah, that’s her.
And then southpaw with just nothing.
Just angry music. Yeah,
well, it was nothing. No, he had no music. And I just think that would be super intimidating. Because you’re expecting your opponent to come out to like some height music and a good rap song something going on. And it’s just dead silence with him giving you this Death Stare and only a way that Jake Gyllenhaal but really m&m could give you and i think that’s that’s one way to take it. And it’s it’s really cool in the movie. I don’t know that it would work in real life.
You know, they said, mmm, we need you to put on 35 pounds of muscle and he’s like, fuck now.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:45
gonna have to pass on that.
Yeah, I’m not doing that. You’re gonna pay me $400 million to put on no pounds of muscle. Yeah,
I’ll write the music for it. How’s that? Thanks. ceiling on a good song either.
Unknown Speaker 1:22:56
I am phenomenal. No.
So why haven’t we gotten a mike tyson movie yet? Nick.
There was a Tyson biopic in 95. Was it didn’t do? Yes. Like I really do it justice, though. I mean, plus, it’s hard to recreate the baddest dude on the planet, and he’s still alive.
I know that he’s a big part.
I don’t think people want to do it because they’re scared of Mike Tyson. Like I lose. If I made a biopic or a movie about mike tyson and I didn’t nail it. I would legitimately be afraid he would kill me. If you ever saw me on like the red carpet. He just punched me once and I’d be dead.
Oh, wow. There isn’t mike tyson movie. I didn’t know that can’t be very good. No, Michael J. White. Oh, yeah. No. Rose. Oh, I think you’re right. I want to see a good one. I want to see one done. Well, I think it’s out there. Like the idea for it’s out there. But because he’s still alive. His story is not done yet. He’s still alive. He’s still part of the cultural consciousness. It wasn’t that long ago that he’s in the hangover movies. I think he immediately has one of the better human interest sides to the movie, even if we made it now. And I think that’s where the problem is, is his story just isn’t finished yet. With How crazy is you don’t know what Mike Tyson’s gonna do for the rest of his life. And I don’t think anyone wants to make that movie until all of the crazy mike tyson things have been done and said, and as morbid as it sounds, that’s not gonna happen until he’s dead.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:31
So like you can’t. You can’t tell the final mike tyson story until Oh, it’s a TV movie. Yes, you
Unknown Speaker 1:24:40
6.3 out of 10 on IMDB. Jamie Foxx. What to expect from Jamie Foxx is Mike Tyson biopic.
Unknown Speaker 1:24:52
So check that out. Yeah,
I can see Jamie Foxx is Mike Tyson.
Oh yeah. He’s doing that soon.
Trying to look
that’s coming out in late 2023 or something. I know he started training for it and he’s getting huge. I can see Jamie Foxx
crushing his IMDb here real quick. Yeah, he can make a good Tyson for sure. I just I don’t know why you want to tell the story until he’s gone. No offense to, like, I don’t want mike tyson to go away but everybody’s gonna die someday. What is the best type of sports movie? It’s boxing.
I agree with you. It’s really good. All all the money shots, too.
Yeah. It’s It’s everything we’ve said throughout this whole podcast is there’s just so much depth to the non boxing stuff that it’s almost always more interesting to watch these movies, even if there’s no boxing, but you can’t take a football movie and take football away from and have it still be a good movie. I think a lot of these boxing movies if you take boxing out of it, they’d still be pretty good movies.
I mean, any given Sunday would be a terrible movie without football. That’s true. They’re very bad movie. Yeah. The replacements also terrible.
Football would not have ended racism.
No. I mean, strong side, left side. mega.
I think baseball might be the runner up for kind of the same reason, you know. So I think baseball, listen to me here. I think baseball movies can focus on one or two players for the human interest side of it. So you can tell that human interest piece because their bad behavior or the shit going on in their life can only affect them, they can go into a hitting slump. Or if they’re a pitcher, they can, you know, just have a bad couple of weeks pitching or whatever. And that doesn’t necessarily drag the whole team down. Whereas if like one basketball player, like the best basketball player on a basketball team goes down, the whole team’s going down with him. So you have to still focus on the whole team and how it affects the whole team. But with baseball, you don’t have to do that you can just focus on Well, this guy can’t hit for several weeks because whatever is going on his life. I really
can’t think of any baseball movies but the Charlie Sheen one and majorly angels in the outfield angels in the
outfield. Great boltaron we got Field of Dreams you’ve got
Rob Schneider the benchwarmers.
Unknown Speaker 1:27:19
Yeah, yeah, that’s a little
Unknown Speaker 1:27:22
The natural great one Robert Redford. I think boxing is also the best sport to portray in the movie like it’s the easiest to get right? For. For Non boxers. It’s much easier to fake throwing a punch or kind of do this dance with the choreography. Because
it’s easy to make look cool, right?
It’s good boxing choreography is like dancing. And a lot of actors have somewhat of a dancing background. They have to kind of train their bodies in that way already. But in other sports, you have to develop real skills that are very hard to fake. Like it’s hard to fake. A good looking jump shot. If you’ve never taken one. It’s hard to fake throwing a football or baseball in a way that looks real. If that’s not something you’ve done, watch. Tom Cruise, try and play literally any sport and you’ll see like he has no idea how to do it. He’s like, it just doesn’t register in his brain. But I bet you could put them in a boxing movie and he’d be perfectly fine.
He might be pretty nasty in a boxing movie. Actually.
I like a football i think is the runner up for actual sport action. Because that you get the best football scenes of things happening. I can never get tired of watching great football plays.
Right? I mean, Nelly? just ripping off massive runs and yes yard
is great running right out of shoes. Same with Jamie Foxx on any given Sunday, like any one of his plays, is just fantastic to watch over and over again. Yeah, so yeah. Do you have anything else on Boxing movies?
I don’t I enjoyed talking about boxing, Muay
Thai boxing movies are a lot of fun. go be a boxer and you know, maybe you’ll get your own boxing movie someday.
Watch me. It’s it’s a lot now. You gave me my challenge. I will challenge ISIS occasion. It’s on
30 years old. Perfect time to start boxing.
Hey, I’m 28 I got plenty of time. Yeah, you’re Hilary Swank. There you go.
There you go. Follow us on Twitter at APA something at alone underscore podcast to tell us how terrible our opinions on these boxing movies are. But you know I will fight to the death that million dollar babies terrible
come back dude. I’m recently training to be a fighter. So yeah, set this up Calvin.
You can check out more on the website and podcast about something calm you can go to our T public store and look at some cool t shirts and other shit you can buy. And all music for Oh yeah. podcast about something as we’ve mentioned over the past few weeks is coming to an end later this year, probably in July of 2021. And I will be moving on to The magic number is three t, the magic number is three podcast. And you can follow that Twitter at magic three TV pod. And I’m really bad at making that transition so far I’ve had to be better at like fitting that into these episodes because every time I just completely befit this bear. I’m just gonna let you start doing it be like, hey, fall kelvins new show.
I’ve been talking about it in my new episodes. Nice, right talked about it in my newest
one that I’m producing right now. Sweet. Nick, you can always find over at URL loan podcast, which is a great story to listen to. It’s a audio drama, as we call it. And that’s a lot of fun. He’ll still be doing that after this is over. So if you like Nick more than you like me, you can go follow him there.
It’s doubtful I’m not very likable or follow both of us.
It’s a win win, win. Win, win. thank you as always to those cats for providing all the music for a podcast about something. You got to stay sassy.