Episode 141 – A Podcast About Future Movie Superlatives

In years past, we’ve kicked off the new year by giving out our special blend of made up awards to the best of the best from the previous year. But 2020 was lax on new releases because reasons, so we are taking this opportunity to look to the future! Some movies try to hang their hats on bringing forth a truly visually appealing future timeline, with none of the substance behind it. While others just throw stuff at you so fast you can’t comprehend it all. Some things, however, certainly stick whether it’s the visual appeal, or the practicality of the future. We’re eschewing the near future for the far-reaching stuff this week as we dive into Future Movie Superlatives! Queue the awards ceremony for the best vehicle, best future to live in (it’s a sparse pool, trust us), the best piece of tech, Best A.I., and of course we dive into some problems that could only sprout up in the future! We don’t neglect the downsides too, with surprises around every corner as we rub our futuristic crystal computer converter, releasing the power light of truth (movies) to reveal futures that range from dreary to bright, and believable to uncanny.

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Full Episode Transcript Below

Kalvin 0:07
Each week we dive deep into whatever it is we find interesting. I’m your host, Kalvin, and joining me from the year 2146. It’s your co host, Nick Richardson.

Nick 0:18
It’s not as dope as I thought it would be.

Kalvin 0:21
A lot of weird stuff going on in the future

Nick 0:22
very fucking dirty. I unimaginably so.

Kalvin 0:27
Yeah, it’s like, everybody who’s designing the future just catered to the dreams of nerds.

Nick 0:33
Right. And that’s why all the women are pretty much just running around naked screaming at the top of their lungs. It’s wild out here. It’s like the Wild West stretch. It’s very I didn’t I don’t know. Not.

Kalvin 0:46
somehow we’ve Skyped across the chasm of over 100 years. And I can see everything next thing here on his on his camera. So yeah, we know what’s going on.

Nick 0:55
It’s a special camera that a genie dove into 10,000 years ago. And unfortunately, you know, I found it. So

Kalvin 1:03
right now that we’re getting into genies, we probably just need to move on.

Nick 1:06
No, no, this

Kalvin 1:07
we’re just getting started. We are here to give out future movie superlatives. What is a future movie? It is any movie that is set significantly in the future from when it was made, not from now. Because if you do it from now, then you have to disqualify Back to the Future to 2001 A Space Odyssey Blade Runner, all these wouldn’t qualify, but we’re just saying they have to be in the future from when they were made. It has to be a vision of the future future from the filmmakers. Oh, even if they technically take place in what is now our past. Yeah, totally did we create the paradox yet?

Nick 1:44
We were just getting started.

Kalvin 1:46
So we are going to give out five superlative awards today. And we give out these awards every month we do a different type of movie this month. It’s future movies. And we are giving out best vehicle future movies always got cool vehicles or like they try to

Nick 2:05
Yeah, we have succeeded for this too, because some of them are fucking wack a lot of are pretty wack.

Kalvin 2:11
last feature to live in. Which should be fun. That’s where I want to live

Nick 2:17
harder than I thought.

Kalvin 2:19
I had a couple options. And I’m, I’m a little surprised with the one I ended up going with it. I watched a lot of these movies again. And you know, I went with one I was surprised about it’s

Nick 2:30
definitely fucking not

Kalvin 2:32
your best piece of tech. There’s always some cool tech gadgets, future tech gadgets, you know, that we haven’t seen yet that are coming soon. The most realistic artificial artificial intelligence usually future movies deal with artificial intelligence in some way. And I thought there’s two ways to go here, you can either pick the most lifelike, or the closest to what we think the real world will evolve into.

Nick 2:57
I mean, if Elon Musk lives for like another 40 years, I fear what will evolve into or what? Stop listening to me Ilan, he did.

Kalvin 3:09
And the last award we’ll give out is the most compelling problem that can only exist in the future. So something that we can’t even fathom yet because we’re not in the future.

Nick 3:20
See, I just heads up, I went a slightly different route.

Kalvin 3:25
Okay, that’s fine. But I’ll bring it to you. As long as it happens in a movie that takes place in the future, I don’t really care. See, these awards are open to your own interpretation.

Nick 3:34
When I actually started going through all these and rewatching some of these movies, it was like, I’m not going to pick anything that I originally thought I was going to pick.

Kalvin 3:43
That’s kind of what happened with me. And we’ll discuss that as we go through them. And as Nick said, we have the Socrative to go along with these at the end, which is the worst version of all these things that we just named. So it’s like a mini roast. Exactly. And we kind of go through those faster because it’s a lot easier pick bad things and good things. Or you just don’t want to expand as much on bad things. Like it’s easier to identify. I guess what?

Nick 4:08
Most people agree on the bad things about it. I’m gonna shock you with one of my bad things fucking shocked me, Calvin.

Kalvin 4:17
Hey, let’s get into the categories. If you’re new to the movie spoilers again, we’ve been doing this every month for like, two years. Yeah. Ah, we got a lot of they’re dope. They are. We can’t give more than one movie one award. And we can’t give more than one award to more than one movie. We can’t do have honorable mentions. And you can repeat these in the suckler lives because the suck motives don’t count in the same order.

Nick 4:44
Yeah, yeah. Even though I’m not I never do that. That’s,

Kalvin 4:48
I don’t know that I did. But I made the rules. So if I say you can, you can.

Nick 4:52
Let’s keep that in my back pocket.

Kalvin 4:54
Yeah, they will. I I say I can’t I never said you can. Oh, whoa.

Nick 4:58
Some squishy ocean.

Kalvin 5:03
Let’s get into it. Let’s do it. The first award is the best vehicle Nick, what do you got?

Nick 5:10
I got what this immediately it was one I didn’t think I would pick. But I eventually came around to it and it it won me over. That’s the USS Enterprise, specifically from Star Trek Beyond. Okay, this takes place in 2263 I love how like,

Kalvin 5:29
sorry, I have no Star Trek’s on my feet.

Nick 5:33
I was pleasantly surprised with the newer movies. I enjoyed them.

Kalvin 5:39
They’re good. I just I I picked different I went different way. I didn’t really watch any of them for this. I’m okay with it.

Nick 5:46
Well, I mean, honestly, I really just like the way it looks. I think it looks tight. Oh, yeah. It’s Enterprise’s iconic ship. That’s great. Well, it’s incredibly aesthetically pleasing. And I love the fact that you see the a couple shots of them in like the boiler room and stuff like that the inner workings of the ship. But for the most part, you just got the main you know, like 10 people on deck.

Kalvin 6:10
Well, and the bridge is great. They got the the dream of torium I know that’s not what it’s called. I can’t think of the name of the thing.

Nick 6:18
It’s where they take acid and just have fun.

Kalvin 6:20
Yeah, they just do whatever the hell they want. I don’t know if that ever made an appearance in the movies. You got the the Chris Pine was in it, bro.

Nick 6:27
So I mean, it happened.

Kalvin 6:28
That’s true. Trust me. You got the you got the beam, or you can beam people up to the sky. That’s what I was gonna

Nick 6:33
say. The fact that it has hyperspace capabilities as well as teleportation capabilities. I am on that ship. 100% I would just be like, yeah, be me down there. Let me get some Portillo’s be me back up, homie. And then I’m fucking gone.

Kalvin 6:48
I’m pretty sure that’s what Chris pines Captain Kirk would do. And then at the same time, boned some chicks while he’s

Nick 6:55
gonna say bang all the chicks that are working at the time at portos He’s like, he wants some Italian beef honey. Oh my god. You know, he gets the one they would just like throw hot glue in his face. Oh.

Kalvin 7:13
Come on, guys. Fine.

Nick 7:14
Yeah, Captain. Don’t hit on Italian Chicago chicks. About Italian beef sandwiches. They will fuck you up with how are you?

Kalvin 7:26

Nick 7:27
I did have I have a I did have a runner up as well. Let’s hear it. The Nebuchadnezzar from the matrix obviously. Nah, no, nothing. But to design that ship is to dope.

Kalvin 7:40
You’re all about the like cruise ships here. I went a little I went a little more personal vehicles. A little more personal

Nick 7:47

Kalvin 7:48
Yeah. I just there’s a lot of problems with envisioning yourself in the future of the matrix. And that starts with you’re in this underground tunneling hovercraft that breaks literally every five minutes.

Nick 8:03
It’s a piece of shit. Yes, for sure. Well, I mean, its format of transport is incredibly impractical. Like, what if you just fall into a cavern and you can’t? How do you suspend yourself?

Kalvin 8:15
I believe it’s by magnets.

Nick 8:18
That’s what I’m saying. But if you fall into a cab, there are

Kalvin 8:20
no magnets. Yeah, you’re screwed. Yeah,

Nick 8:22
I mean, you’re fucked.

Kalvin 8:25
Yeah, I just I have a hard time with a napkin answer because it literally breaks all the time. It’s got those cool things where you can just jack yourself into a port and go into the real real world. But

Nick 8:37
yeah, and literally do whatever the fuck you want.

Kalvin 8:40
What kind of,

Nick 8:41
well, at least neocon

Kalvin 8:42
Yeah. Or if you’re that one guy that is a traitor.

Nick 8:46
traitor. Capital.

Kalvin 8:50
That was my one man first in line.

Nick 8:52
Yeah. He’s gonna like this is going to be juicy.

Kalvin 8:55
I think I got one somewhere

Nick 8:57
to eat Nancy Pelosi steak.

Kalvin 9:01
him his fucking steaks.

Nick 9:03
I always thought that steak look gross as fuck as a kid. And then I was like, Yeah, that looks pretty good.

Kalvin 9:09
It’s okay. I didn’t rewatch a matrix here. I probably should have it. I do really like the matrix and I am a defender of the sequels. We don’t have to get into that. Absolutely.

Nick 9:18
Dude. Finally someone I just

Kalvin 9:21
it’s just enjoyable.

Nick 9:25
How many mech fights Do you see like that? I mean, it’s literally just giant guns. Fighting robot that is so dope. It was like a anime movie basically.

Kalvin 9:34
I’m there’s there’s big robots fighting anything. I’m there.

Nick 9:36
I am fucking there. 100 unless it’s Pacific Rim uprising that can suck. I mean,

Kalvin 9:42
I was still there. The movie was just bad around the fighting

Nick 9:46
was fucking horrible. That wasn’t even good.

Kalvin 9:49
Right? I agree. So it’s my turn and I am going off your radar here with G Yo, The Rise of Cobra. When does that take place? 2020 released in 2009. So it’s in the quote unquote not too distant future, but still the future.

Nick 10:11
That’s pretty tight. That’s debatable.

Kalvin 10:13
So they’ve got the sharks, which are these like speedboat, submarines. Those are go, which are fucking awesome with no laser type weapons. I guess they’re kind of like Sonic weapons.

Nick 10:24
It’s called the shark two, right? Yeah, it’s called shark and has frickin laser beams on its head.

Kalvin 10:29
Yeah, exactly. Nice. They’ve got the night Raven, which is a jet of some sort. You know, the supersonic speed? Yeah, yeah, kind of looks like a shark but in the air now.

Nick 10:41
Nice. It has frickin laser beam and it has laser

Kalvin 10:45
beams also enough to take down nuclear warheads. Vehicles In GI Joe Rise of Cobra. They got snowmobiles, jets, tanks, sharks, anything you can name they put a cool spin on it, which is you know, kind of what GI Joe did in the cartoons. And they all got these great names so night Raven, the shark anytime you’re gonna make Yeah, etc. If you’re gonna make a future movie with these cool looking vehicles give him cool names. I don’t care if they do it looks if I sound stupid.

Nick 11:13
Those of you don’t everything sounds stupid. The fuck? I’m hitting him with a squadron of night ravens. It’s like Yo,

Kalvin 11:19
I had one night Raven. It was still in the in the beta testing. Well,

Nick 11:23
I’m just saying. Imagine hearing that over the radio or over the comms. And it’s just like, Oh, fuck, I’m a be like the Japanese of world war two and dig. and dig and dig.

Kalvin 11:36
And see. Have you seen GI Joe Rise of Cobra.

Nick 11:38
I have and I was just about to say, also a pretty good film. I like it. It’s solid. It does good. Do those suits of armor count as a vehicle?

Kalvin 11:49
I was counting them as like a piece of tech.

Unknown Speaker 11:51
That’s Oh, like

Kalvin 11:52
the ones that they like speed up their bodies.

Nick 11:56
Right when they’re like

Kalvin 11:58
tech. Yeah.

Nick 12:00
I mean, that’s that’s probably a combo there.

Kalvin 12:02
If Do they have like rollerblades on them? I was watching while I was working. So I didn’t pay that close to the time that they just run them right. If I am rollerblades, then I would say yes. They run like faster than Captain America. I remember that. Super. Did you see the second one with the rock?

Nick 12:17
I know I can’t say that I did. It’s not good in

Kalvin 12:24
the first the first one right is a cobra is is really fun. It’s got like your your mix of action in there. It’s got some of the campy gi Jonas they’ve got this futuristic tech and kind of warfare going on,

Nick 12:34

Kalvin 12:36
good fights and just good enough acting to make us yeah, nobody’s taking themselves seriously right? It’s also not too campy either.

Nick 12:45
They had like five or six lines where I’m just like, Oh, Jesus Christ, that then they had probably 15 or 20 of the same like, in the same ballpark. But the way they wrote it and came about it in the story. It was like alright, cool, you know, I’ll live with that. So

Kalvin 13:02
lands can kind of make things work that don’t really work usually

Nick 13:05
fantastic combo.

Kalvin 13:06
And same with Dennis Quaid like in there as this cast Captain America type. Stand up guy he can he can deliver on that Joseph Gordon Levitt as the evil mastermind Cobras is fantastic as well.

Nick 13:19
He’s Cobra. Yeah, I did not remember that.

Kalvin 13:22
Yeah. And they got a great evil plan. Always good for for an evil a good evil plan. And then we’ve got these nanites going to take down the world with him. That’s pretty much it.

Nick 13:37
Yeah, I mean, that’s kinda I kind of need to rewatch that. Yeah.

Kalvin 13:43
I had an honorable mention here too. And that was iRobot, which takes place in 2035. He had the self driving slash hovering outtie. And Audi’s are still, regardless of what decade it is.

Nick 13:56
I, I’ve had bad personal experiences with them. Well, everyone I’ve known that’s own in audio, which is probably like, six or seven people. They’ve all been pieces of shit. They’ve all been stick shifts, and they’re stupid. So I don’t know if they can actually drive them properly. And that may be why

Kalvin 14:11
Yeah, that’s an issue. That’s, um,

Nick 14:13
that’s a big time.

Kalvin 14:15
They always look cool. And at the very least,

Nick 14:17
yeah, they’re usually pretty fucking sleek. Those are German engineered. If I’m correct. I’m not a big car guy. And that makes sense because they make a chainsaw look dope.

Kalvin 14:27
Yeah. And Demolition Man kind of has the same kind of the same type of futuristic car where it looks like it has wheels, but it’s really hovering and they can kind of move three dimensionally rather than just forward and backwards. They can kind of swerve and hover and move around. I like that style flying car more than actual flying cars.

Nick 14:47
Yeah, absolutely. Like I like the super highways that are basically silent. And yet just moving, you know, in and out interchanging lanes and stuff like that, and no one’s paying attention

Kalvin 14:59
to me issues. Like potentially issues with flying cars.

Nick 15:02
Oh absolutely how

Kalvin 15:03
high low how high or low do you go?

Nick 15:05
I mean you just kill all the birds Yeah, it was just me all the

Kalvin 15:09
birds was my last point here but when is it legal to pass? Do you have to go around you go over Do you go under their van Lane? Is there a car Lane? Is their truck Lane? How do you know?

Nick 15:20
You know if they just rose it like or a calf they just made him levitate off the ground? like four foot five foot? I know right? It’s still pretty high. Think of all the roadkill you would not have?

Kalvin 15:32
Well, and you’d save a ton on infrastructure, right? Oh, shows you with your roads. You’d have to have lanes, right? Absolutely. You stay here You can’t just go anywhere. But you wouldn’t the upkeep to the actual road wouldn’t be as necessary. And with the flying cars like do you have lanes? Or are you just flying anywhere? I know in like Star Wars I’m so too. Yeah, they kind of had lanes. But they were levels of lanes too. And it was really weird and hard to catch. But then there were other places where people are just flying wherever the hell they want.

Nick 16:07
Most most other ones The only thing I think that would work is like a digital heads up display that syncs with every flying vehicle.

Kalvin 16:14
Well yeah, they’d have to be automated to right every vehicle is driving itself and then it doesn’t matter.

Nick 16:20
Man the operating system that would be able to actually do that would be fucking insane. You’d have to do that on a local municipality.

Kalvin 16:28
Yeah. If you get in a wreck you’re pretty much gonna die.

Nick 16:31
Oh, you’re gonna get smeared there’s no doubt about it. Will Smith pretty much prove that

Kalvin 16:36
and you’re just gonna fall out of the sky. That is true. If you get crashed How are you gonna?

Nick 16:42
How are you gonna keep flying? And you know, that’s not where my mind went bad on me.

Kalvin 16:52
All right, so we are ready to move on to the next award the best future to live in we asked Twitter what they thought the best future to live in and have some comments here are the options on our Twitter poll at APA something we’re back to the future to AI robot Demolition Man and other Back to the Future to get 66.7% of the votes I robot got 25% and Demolition Man got 8.3% other got 0% so out of those three everyone wanted to pick at least one of those three

Nick 17:21
kind of surprise demolition got Demolition Man and got that much that’s awesome.

Kalvin 17:25
Yeah, got some votes out there. Well we’re gonna talk about Demolition Man in depth in a few minutes here because that was one I didn’t rewatch I watched it for the first time and I’ve got some thoughts.

Nick 17:34
I’ve never seen it but I listened to the whole my popcorns episode on it. Okay, I think I have a generally decent idea.

Kalvin 17:41
So the tangent versus movie podcast at tangent versus say, looks like I’m in the minority picking iRobot I want to choose from the suggestions and I’m really into tech so I think this universe will be streamlined cool first instincts went back to the future too but people are chaos and there seems to be slightly more safety in the iRobot world. I agree.

Nick 18:00
not shy lebouf running around Yeah. Chairs everybody can’t fucking cuz Isn’t he chairs in iRobot? Or is that in Constantine? No, he’s

Kalvin 18:13
not chairs he’s like Shane or something. I gotta look at I did watch iRobot Of course it didn’t find the right one i comma robot. There it is 2004 He is not in the top billing on the first page of IMDb way to go. Shaya barber is his name. Barber so I don’t know that they ever actually mentioned

Nick 18:50
chairs. This is Chad Constantine.

Kalvin 18:54
The tennis podcast that tennis pod says dude video phone calls and Back to the Future to be so badass if we can ever figure out the technology. I think he’s being sarcastic there. Because we have video calls that are better than Back to the Future to in my opinion.

Nick 19:09
Mine never worked properly. So going with him.

Kalvin 19:12
That’s fair. Deluxe Edition yet another pop culture podcast at deluxe edition pod says Demolition Man you haven’t lived until you’ve used three seashells which hard disagree there.

Nick 19:25
Do they work? need to

Kalvin 19:28
have an answer to that when we get to our demo. Did

Nick 19:30
you legit figure it out? Kevin.

Kalvin 19:32
I didn’t figure it out. So that’s our Stallone has a quote from some interview on it.

Unknown Speaker 19:37
And then the final scraper is

Kalvin 19:43
Kyle Curtis flat at Curtis underscore flat got votes for Back to the Future. All right, great job. Great job everyone. Thank you for participating. That’s at APA something we do polls sometimes before we record and people respond most weeks that we haven’t done them in a while though. We push it back to sometimes. So our picks for best future live in, I’m going to my man from the tangent universe, or the tangent verse, and go with iRobot takes place in 2035. And if you take it as a snapshot, right up until the movie actually starts, this is the best future.

Nick 20:23
It seems very clean. And a rough couple

Kalvin 20:27
of days after the movie starts. But

Nick 20:29
yes, I mean, it sounds like this should never happen. So I mean, it’s, it’s at least predictable.

Kalvin 20:36
Yeah, we’ve got robots and AI assistants all over the place. There’s reliable self driving cars. It’s a technology and internet driven society, which is very much the way that we’re going. Robots, they’re they free up all this time and energy for all of humanity to succeed at kind of what they want. Because the robots are doing all the menial things and remembering things for you and running your errands and things like that. So you don’t have to worry about those, you can focus on the things you want to focus on.

Nick 21:06
I mean, I still think about the prosthetics. Like that is so fun. Yep.

Kalvin 21:10
Yep. That’s, that’s a good point, too. They can basically replace entire limbs. Well,

Nick 21:14
I mean, just the field applications for the spray on skin. Like imagine that would just change the Art of War completely.

Kalvin 21:21
I would think, why do you need the spray on skin? If the robotics are so robust and so ubiquitous? That you know that this is I’m sure he’s not the only person with a robotic limb? Why do you need to spray out like I would sport that shit? Like I’m Cyborg out there? Well, yeah,

Nick 21:40
you but he’s, he doesn’t like him. Yeah, that’s true. I don’t fuck it. He’s like the Mandalorian. The Mandalorian doesn’t like droids.

Kalvin 21:52
Yeah, it’s pretty sure. And as long as the AI controlling all the robots doesn’t get on this power trip, and decide that it’s going to subjugate humans and make them do it at once. I think it’d be a solid way to live

Nick 22:05
I’d be okay with it.

Kalvin 22:08
Well, and here’s the here’s the kind of underrated but important aspect that I think a lot of people overlook is they’re all interconnected within the same network and yeah, the Vicki You know, that’s controlling it goes crazy. But if you can control Vicki, then it’s it’s a much better system that they’re all connected to a single hub, which is kind of how the internet works already. And the fact that you have this hive mind is actually more helpful than it is harmful. Just because all these devices are constantly communicating with each other. So it only makes them more efficient because they know well this robots already over there doing that so I don’t have to do that. I can go over here or this car is in that lane, so I can’t go in that lane. I can go in this lane, but there’s another car coming I like the cars all know where they are at all times. It makes it easier to help.

Nick 22:52
Absolutely. It’s like a giant to do list that everyone could pick something from but everyone else knows what that something is. Exactly that I got two things though, about that the AI from that one Vicki is the dumbest name for an AI I’ve ever heard. I get it but either way, it makes me think of like a dentist assistant and I can’t stand it. And to

Kalvin 23:15
it’s also the babysitter on Fairly Odd parent.

Nick 23:18
I was just about to say that was my second book. Thank you, Vicki, Vicki, you’re so icky. Vicky’s icky as fuck in that movie.

Kalvin 23:27
Of The Fairly oddparents

Nick 23:28
love that show that was so good. The Crimson chin.

Kalvin 23:32
The other thing that I don’t like at all, it’s it’s interesting, these movies, but it’s so stupid as the people complain about the robots or AI taking people’s jobs. They never. They never focus on how much time and energy is freed up for creative and personal pursuit. Like you can do anything. If robots are doing all this stuff for you.

Nick 23:49
Like shit, man, some people are wired differently. My grandpa, if you said Oh, you don’t have to work, man, you can do whatever you want. He would sit there and suck on a fucking potato because he literally doesn’t want to do anything but work

Kalvin 24:04
fine, those people could still work, you can find it right? Like there’s things humans have to do. And and if AI is gonna take over, you know, you’re gonna have some sort of universal basic income going on. That’s going to be doable, because AI would also save so much money in almost every single industry, that you have all this surplus of money to go around and to share. It allows people in the world to kind of pursue their dreams live their life, how they want to rather than being stuck doing a job if they don’t really want to just to make ends meet or pay the bills or whatever they need to. And then you have the skilled labor part that actually needs humans to be done. That becomes even more in demand now and people who take the time to learn those trades are going to be extremely well paid and valuable and sought after

Nick 24:47
the new rich within the working class. Exactly.

Kalvin 24:50
There you go. So people like your grandfather will learn a trade and have something to do that a robot can’t

Nick 24:58
do. I’m pretty sure drink Coffee and talking to people is not a learnable trade.

Kalvin 25:03
He’s really good at that. That’s like 90% of office life too.

Nick 25:07
I mean, he he owned several restaurants and stuff. So that’s what he do. He was that guy that walked to every table to like some coffee.

Kalvin 25:18
I have an honorable mention here as a Real Steal. Just because any future with giant fighting robots is one I want to live in. And it seems like there’s a pretty low barrier to entry to actually fighting the robots. Yeah, if

Nick 25:30
you can scrape together like 20 grand you’re in? Yeah. and fight room Jackman’s there I never finished that movie. I got like 25 minutes so much fun.

Kalvin 25:40
The kid really sucks in it but he’s fucking movie is fun. I just

Nick 25:45
want to see you know, Hugh Jackman like yeah, jumping in the air with this fist held high while the robot does the same.

Kalvin 25:53
He must have been like mid Wolverine training during this movie cuz he’s fucking redneck is weird. Like, it’s half there and half not and his head looks super tiny. It’s it’s really like I just shaved his head. That might be it. I got hyper focused on it. This time. When I watched it. I was like, what is going on with his head and his neck?

Nick 26:13
You turn it on? You’re like, what the fuck? Are you seeing this shit? So Hugh Jackman are a few. Small Hackman.

Kalvin 26:22
Good one. So what’s your best?

Nick 26:25
I’m going to surprise you. It’s a in the 20th century, take a guess it’s a century like

Kalvin 26:34

Nick 26:35
I don’t know. I was going to do the, you know, the googling on that. And then I said 20 a century sounds pretty cool. And that’s a valerian and the city of 1000

Kalvin 26:46
planets. Never saw it.

Nick 26:48
It’s a terrible movie. I really liked.

Kalvin 26:51
And I would have watched it if it was just him, but I cannot stand cardella I mean, if she’s fun, she’s fun. I heard it was bad. So I was like, now I’m out. Sorry.

Nick 26:59
It was way too long. And it just felt disjointed. But the world they created were like humans and aliens basically just live together are cool with each other. It’s everything’s all bright and beautiful. And it just seems like a real good time. You know, the Unity camaraderie between species and stuff like that. That would just that would kind of go back to the iRobot thing with all the robots working with you Just imagine all the sharing of technology cultures, food medicine, fucking all those innovations would be sudo. Yeah,

Kalvin 27:31
I like any world where you get the communities working in harmony. And then there’s like one random dude, that’s like, Nah, Fuck this. We don’t need to work in harmony. And that’s always the bad guy. And he tries to just destroy everything.

Nick 27:45
Right? And that’s why you have go best space cops.

Unknown Speaker 27:48

Nick 27:49
Don’t do much. You know, they usually write tickets to people for space jaywalking, but sometimes you get a villain.

Kalvin 27:56
There you go. I like that pic. I don’t have much to say I just cuz I haven’t seen it yet. That was one of the drawing parts as it looked like it was a cool world that they built. And that’s based on a book series too. Right? Right. It’s

Nick 28:08
kind of like Dune in the sense. It’s one of those, you know, groundbreaking sci fi books. Have you read it? I’ve never read. No, no, I thought about it. And then I watched the movie. I was basically like, you know, I’ll read it or I’ll get it in audiobook and eventually get to it. And then I watched it. I was pissed. Especially because I took like four days to watch it from Red bottle had to pay like eight bucks. Yeah, that’s it was fucking mad. Dude, I slammed that shit in there.

Kalvin 28:41
That’s when you got to put the dollar in it for the next person that mistakenly read said. You know what? This movie sucks. It took me four days here. This one’s on me.

Nick 28:50
I should have just broke that bitch in half and threw it somewhere.

Kalvin 28:54
I mean, that’s what people in the garbage anyways, ever try and get a kid’s movie from the red box.

Nick 28:58
Yeah, I did twice and both times they were for me. But they’re scratched she and the wife. Yeah, dude. One had piss on it. Like straight up like campus.

Kalvin 29:10
The library is worse like you go to the library and get some of those kids movies in there like the that the clear mirrored backing of a DVD is not clear.

Nick 29:20
Yeah, like cocaine residue should fuck. God damn you, Florida.

Kalvin 29:29
valerian and the city of 1000 planets getting an award for the first time ever,

Nick 29:34
for literally anyone. Yeah, you know, it was really really tough for me, because I always try to pick something I’ve seen. And most of these features I’ve seen kind of fucking suck.

Kalvin 29:45
Well, yeah, that’s the whole point of the movie is is we fucked up the future somehow. And now the future cops have to deal with it.

Nick 29:52
I’m sure somebody.

Kalvin 29:53
Yeah, it’s usually a future cop. Alright, so let’s move on to ward number three. The best piece of tech. Nick, what do you got?

Nick 30:01
I got stem from upgrade. I’ve ever seen that movie? No, I

Kalvin 30:05
haven’t. I know. I know. It’s good and blah, blah, blah. I

Nick 30:08
just haven’t watched it. Do just good on YouTube and watch the fight scenes are so fantastic. It takes place in 2045. It’s basically about a guy who was involved in if he was attacked him and his wife and he ends up paraplegic, but saw his wife get murdered. So of course, this one company Yep. I mean, this is all pretty standard. This company’s like you just so happen to be the right guy. And if you want this highly advanced piece of technology, we’ll go ahead and implant it into you free of charge.

Kalvin 30:42
And it’s called never backfires on anybody. What’s that? I said that never backfires on anybody.

Nick 30:49
No, Totally. Totally does it. It doesn’t really for this guy for gray. My buddy at work, who’s like a cinephile, or whatever the fuck you want to call it? He’s obsessed with movies. But he’s like, dude, just fucking watch that goddamn scene. Please. So I finally watched it. And it was, it’s just so good. There’s like a minute and a half fight. That’s fantastic. So obviously, this, this technology allows him to walk operate, like normal. Like he’s not paraplegic. And he can basically turn over all his physical motor functions to the AI and it can control him. So just in the terms of like, say, we go to these flying cars, and you crash. You got the stem and plant and you’re like, Yo, I’m falling to the ground stem takeover, and you survive the situation, because he does some crazy shit only an AI could do.

Kalvin 31:48
Yeah, I agree. That’s a great piece of tech that can do lots of things. Well,

Nick 31:53
I mean, my thing was, just imagine, you know, I keep going back to like paraplegics, or just people who have who lost motor function in some regard. That would give back so many people their life or they had, you know, muscular dystrophy, or spinal bifida or something like that, that would just be that would cure innumerable diseases. Relatively simply.

Kalvin 32:17
I agree. I’m not I’m not here to disagree with you, their neck. But what I am here to Is it a virtual world where you can do or be anything?

Nick 32:27
No, but I got something to say about that shit. Later,

Kalvin 32:31
because whatever is ready for the Oasis from Ready Player One takes place in 2045. And I rewatched, it, movie is terrible. I was hoping I was hoping that I that I’m far enough removed from when I actually read the book that I’d be able to sit and enjoy it. And I couldn’t. And I’m gonna get into that I’ve got a rant. But let me let me talk about the Oasis real quick, because you’ve got this virtual reality, where you can literally go anywhere you can build and develop any place that’s ever existed, fictional or real. You can do literally anything, you can be anything. And it’s also a massive game if you want it to be. And that’s the first thing that the movie missed is the Oasis is a place where people work, they go to school, they conduct business, they buy things, everything that happens in the real world can happen in the oasis. But the movie, they put all that to the side, and they made they made it seem like it only existed for the Easter egg hunt. And for like just simple escapism, like I’m going and I’m playing a video game for an hour. And that’s not what it is.

Nick 33:35
Right? I mean, it’s much more complex with that. It’s basically like, it’s integrated to the point where it’s like having a cell phone, we’ve seen that, especially in quarantine, imagine just being able to go to work in an AI operating system with a headset on.

Kalvin 33:50
Right, and they’re all be funded, you have a virtual conference table you’re all sitting at, you’re still doing your thing there. It’s just, it’s a hard watch, just because like rough. So I’ve got a rant here, there’s like a two page rant that I’m gonna try and get through it, it feels like that the pop cultural references are just there to be there. They don’t actually serve any purpose. Not like in the book. They’re not even easter eggs in the movie. They just kind of throw them in your face beat you over the head with them while screaming Hey, look at this cool thing over and over again.

Nick 34:25
And they never every frame. They never conveyed the fact that he is a dork who knows all these things. And that’s what really makes him you know, the most unique person when it comes in this world.

Kalvin 34:37
He’s good at it because it’s fun to be obsessed with these things because they’re fun things to be obsessed with. He’s not just obsessed for the sake of being obsessed or for the sake of finding the egg. He was obsessed even before the egg hunt started because they were interesting and fun things

Nick 34:53
right that’s what what he had.

Kalvin 34:55
Right and and what the book does, it gives you those kind of same heavy handed reference But they always meant something to holiday, or the overall hunt in some way. They were breadcrumbs leading. And if you look at the first challenge in book versus movie and the book you had, it’s it’s on the planet where all the public schools exists, it’s in a non PvP zone so nobody can battle there. It’s this place that everyone can access because the point was to be able to find it. And to win it if you knew enough and got interested in the things Halladay was interested in. So then, you know, there’s a cave where the first key is, and the cave is in these woods that meant something special to holiday in front for some reason. And to get through the cave, he had to play through this DND quest that was important to holiday because it was like his first one he Dungeon Master or something like that. And then he had to defeat the Lich King by beating him in jail, which was one of his favorite games. And you had to know all of those things and be good at all of those things and be able to play through them in order to get the key. And then each key that you got gave you knowledge or an artifact to help you retrieve the next one. So like for the third challenge, you could only complete the third challenge. If you had done well in the second challenge and gotten yourself a giant robot. None of that exists.

Nick 36:10
Well, the thing none of that exists in the movie, and the book did so well in invoking, like memories that I actually had as a kid and stuff, right, most of these things that I dealt with, whereas the the movie just it only swung for nostalgia, it didn’t forget. Right, I guess you can view memories as just simply nostalgia. But I think it’s a little more in depth than that. Like there’s all the emotion

Kalvin 36:36
attached to it. to consume some of these things. Like I’ve played I’ve never played jazz before I played jazz because like it sounded fun. Like you’re this ostrich that is jousting with this other odd like that That sounded like a fun thing to do. So I went and I found it and I played it at some of the movies mentioned I watched them because of this book some of the books there I’m reading them because of this like it’s and then in the movie you get this race was just a bunch of random shit flying around. That means nothing King Kong’s there there’s a T Rex, there are a bunch of cool cars. But knowing what they are and why they would be there doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t matter that King Kong’s there. He’s just an obstacle and something cool for people to look at and go, I understood that reference and move right.

Nick 37:21
I feel included.

Kalvin 37:22
Yeah, it’s it’s just dumb. And then the way you beat it is you drive backwards. And it took five years to figure out how to drive back five years for people who are obsessed with video games, and Easter egg hunting and all this stuff. And nobody thought to drive backwards. because let me tell you, anyone who’s ever played a video game would have tried that shit on a about day three.

Nick 37:44
Get to this, get one single GTA driver. Yeah, in that game, and they would have figured that shit out. Or

Kalvin 37:50
just like somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing and puts their car in reverse instead of drive. Like,

Nick 37:54
you can’t get ahold of it.

Kalvin 37:57
Yeah, he only figures this out on like pure happenstance. It took him no knowledge or skill to actually figure that out. He just like happened to be listening to this dude.

Nick 38:09
Fuck that. Maybe

Kalvin 38:10
Yeah, but it turns easter egg hunting, which is very fun for video gamers and people who enjoy video games into essentially just googling things from holidays life, that they kind of half remember and then stumbling their way through it. They don’t solve any puzzles or put any work in they they just find the answer and go do it. And it’s kind of while I was watching it this time, I realized that it’s this weird kind of unintended parallel on how video gaming is today versus in the old school days. Like you had to have your brothers uncles, nephews cousin whose dad worked for Nintendo tell you about these easter eggs and then you still had to go find them and be able to do the things to get to them. Now if you want it like a second Arkham game if you want to get all the Riddler trophies, you just Google it and figure out how to do it

Nick 38:54
right? Well, not even you don’t have to figure out anything. They’ll have pictures fucking maps, okay, step by steps. When I’m

Kalvin 39:01
in Arkham game, I get about 20% of the Riddler trophies just like through my normal gameplay and then at the end I’m just like, I’m just gonna burn through these and just sit there on whatever website I look them up on and go Okay, I gotta do this. I gotta do that. All right, great.

Nick 39:15
I just I said fuck it after a while. I just get the ones that come across the normal gameplay. Yeah, but I’m, I usually get probably like 55 to 60% because I’m, I like to explore and games I’m just always wandering around.

Kalvin 39:32
Especially, that’s understandable. Yeah. arcam super fun. That the point of the book is, like you said the pop culture obsession in the 80s and 90s. That was all people had. They got lost in specific arcade game or Dungeons and Dragons or movies. Because it’s all they had to escape whatever shitty situation they’re in or even like normal situations, like sometimes you just want to be somewhere else. People knew every line to wargames because it was one of the seven VHS tapes they had at their house. Not because some guys said it may be the answer to life, the universe and everything. To show that that’s all people had to do was just keep consuming the same things over and over again. And the Oasis brought that back for a new generation of people when it was launched in this world. And the Oasis gave you that escapism, but it also gave you so much more. It gives you a purpose, you could go to school, you could go to work, you could, you know, hunt for the eggs, whatever. And also allowed you to explore and find your own favorite pop culture artifacts, like develop your own personality, rather than just liking the things Halliday liked. Because if you like Lord of the Rings, you can go to a recreation of rivendale and just like explore that. If you don’t like you can go to tattooing. You know, you can do anything that interests you. Yeah, that’d be that’d be dope. And, and that was the Oasis existed before the egg hunt and the movie making it the only purpose of the Oasis was very stupid. And that like, this is why streaming works so well, the 90s kids in us, we can relive our childhood with ease, and we can go back and remember it and also stumble upon new things. And in the movie, like our in like, the story of our play. Ready. Player One is supposed to be about people discovering these things that are actually good, not just because they’re nostalgic, but because they’re good and from another time, and you want to learn more about them.

Nick 41:16
Right? They actually, they mean something to you because of everything that’s behind it.

Kalvin 41:22
So some boozy shit, and the Oasis, it was there to help you find a place to fit in and embrace friendships on and offline. Not, you know, turned it off for two days a week bringing the entire economy and way of life to the brink of collapse, because you know, you want to fuck your girlfriend.

Nick 41:37
Right? I mean, that’s, that’s pretty important.

Kalvin 41:42
Yeah, I mean, yeah, it is. But you can do that whether your waist is on or off.

Nick 41:48
That’s true.

Kalvin 41:49
Instead of getting the sweet Schoolhouse Rock, the magic numbers three, we get some insell shit. I never kissed that girl that one time, 40 years ago, and I’m still pissy about, like, that’s what holiday was all about. But that’s bullshit. Like it was, it was about him finding his friends and being able to engage with his friends in this new fun way. That’s why the magic number is three. So stupid. Having said all that, the references in the movie are done in really cool ways sometimes. And it’s awesome to see these things clash, like it’s cool to see a race between a DeLorean and a curious motorcycle, and the 66 Batmobile all in one place are all those robots charging into the final battle, the movement is just cool and awesome things. I just, if I didn’t ever read the book, it would have been much more enjoyable. And because of all this is an awesome piece of technology capable of doing nearly anything a user wants to. So that’s why it gets this award. And it can do even more in Ready Player to

Nick 42:50
which I have not read.

Kalvin 42:51
Like I have five hours left. And it started at like 12 hours. So I’m just a little over halfway. I heard it’s not good. I’m enjoying it.

Nick 43:01
That’s all right.

Kalvin 43:03
Why don’t you say ready? player one is not good. So

Nick 43:06
now I read that book in less than a day. Yeah, I can’t I can’t put this down.

Kalvin 43:11
Well, so the cool thing about this is because it was written so so Ready Player One was written in 2010. So all the pop culture references only go up to 2010 but now because this one was written in 2019 2020 there’s more like there’s more stuff that we recognize. It’s not all 80s and 90s pop culture, you know, throwbacks it there’s more. They’re getting more of the late 2000 2000 10s in there of things that were going on. I’m waiting for the first game of thrones mentioned. I haven’t heard it yet, though.

Nick 43:39
Oh, it’ll fucking happen.

Kalvin 43:41
I can’t not happen right?

Nick 43:43
I mean, if he fails to mention that he’s just lazy. Yeah. Where the fuck is he the past eight years?

Kalvin 43:50
I do have two honorable mentions real quick. promethium shit to what the medical pod? Yes, there anything. fucking dope dude. It’s programmed for male use only. But that’s pretty easily overridden allowing the machine to give you a C section remove a Xenomorph baby. So you know that’s pretty sweet that there that medical pod that can do that.

Nick 44:07
It’s kind of fucking dope.

Kalvin 44:09
It wasn’t designed to do that. But I can figure it out and then going back to Real Steel because boxing boxing robots are fucking awesome. And

Nick 44:15
I wouldn’t have too much fun with that.

Kalvin 44:17
Yeah. Loki great soundtrack for a Real Steal to get some m&m in there.

Nick 44:25
very decent. Yeah. I’ll get down on that shit.

Kalvin 44:28
Alright, so what do you got? Oh, no, that was. That was the second one. So we’re moving on to the most realistic artificial intelligence, right? Yes. All right. So like I said, we have two ways to go here. I went with the closest to what we’ll see in the real world. And I went to Wally from 2008. The future is around 700 years in the future. So it’s like 2708 ish. They never actually explicitly say it and googling could not bring up an actual day. But at one point they do say it’s like 700 years in the future. So I’m going with 2708 is when this takes place

Nick 45:06

Kalvin 45:08
was what I found in my research. Well, there you go. You research better than I did,

Nick 45:13

Kalvin 45:16
This is kind of how I think. And we already see it a little bit. All the AI are extremely specialized. You’ve got your garbage robot, your plant tunning robot, your cleaning robot, your pilot robot, a robot to pick up fat people off the floor when they fall out of their chair robots, gross. Just lots of different robots doing one specific job well, and we’re already seeing that we have roombas we’ve got automatic pool cleaners, lawn mowers, self driving cars are becoming more and more friendly. Mm hmm. You know, we have quote unquote, ai assistants with your Lexus and series and all that. Every AI, you know, thing that you would call AI right now has its own specific purpose. And I think this is a good thing, because I think that’s gonna help stop the robot uprising. If each of them can only do one thing. It has to nobody’s gonna be really that afraid of the robot lawnmower.

Nick 46:13
Right, dude, don’t be scared of shit. Fuck, good. You just walking away and it jumps out at you.

Kalvin 46:19
Now think it’s a robot lawnmower that can also clean your pool and vacuum your floor and carry a gun and jump really far and run really fast. And I don’t know what else to scary robots? Do

Nick 46:32
they wear a bunch of iPhones? Yeah, on their, on their necks and throw them at you violently after winding them up.

Kalvin 46:43
It also allows us to be lazy, right? Because that’s all that’s the reason anyone teaches a computer to do anything is they want to be lazy. They don’t they don’t want to do this thing. So I’m going to teach something specifically to do that thing for me.

Nick 46:56
That are just done faster than me.

Kalvin 46:58
Well, yeah. And I think just once we start packing too many things into one device. That’s when it’s gonna start thinking it can take over the world. It’s like, Whoa, yesterday, I could just help you Google shit. But now I can mow your lawn to watch out world. I’m coming for you.

Nick 47:12
I think the going back to Dix here, as I as I tend to do every episode time. Yeah. As soon as that robot can jerk someone off, or that artificial intelligence

Kalvin 47:24
jerked off robots out there.

Nick 47:26
Oh, I’m sure but once that’s, like, widely available, and this thing is like, I don’t know. So you get some AI that looks like Margot Robbie, and its sole job is to just jerk you off. So it’s very fucking good at it. I mean,

Kalvin 47:41
the Blade Runner territory,

Nick 47:42
the world’s just gonna be over. I haven’t felt a woman in 10 years so

Kalvin 47:49
that you can’t make them look to life like I think I hope we’re smart enough to not make them too lifelike,

Nick 47:55
bro, you can put that in like some CDs areas and just have lifelike boobs on it and a lifelike ass and the rest of the metal. And they’d be lining up. Well, the hands are Yeah, they could probably be metal too. And they’d be like, yeah, cool. Okay, sweet.

Kalvin 48:13
What do you got for most realistic artificial intelligence?

Nick 48:16
I went the opposite way. And I went most lifelike. So literally, if you say you were talking to him on the phone or something like that, you would have no idea and that’s Sonny from iRobot. In that his name? Yep. Okay, I just wanted to double check, because I forget. Honestly, if I did not see the, you know that he was a fucking robot, I would totally think that dude was actually human. Oh, absolutely. Like, he’s

Kalvin 48:47
got that robot tinge. Like, you know, when you talk to Alexa or Siri, they they’ve got a human voice programmed in there, obviously, but it still doesn’t really sound human.

Nick 48:57
Have you noticed that they never actually have AI sound human in any of these movies? Because it freaks people out. I mean, I think that’s really it comes down to like a baseline fear response. But the fact that he, the emotional aspect of it, and the learning curve and the, you know, taking things and practically applying them, I think is extremely fascinating. And the way he grappled with killing his creator. Like that’s, that’s incredibly tough decision making. And without, you know, that specific programming, like you mentioned before, to know how to operate within those confines 100% of the time,

Kalvin 49:39
or he would not have been able to throw his creator out a window that

Nick 49:43
he would have just hacked into pieces and felt nothing about it. But I just thought is, you know, that’s that’s what a human would do. If they, you know, they would weigh that shit.

Kalvin 49:55
Well, that’s kind of why I went the other way, because I wanted to think how are we actually going to develop And it’s gonna be doing single jobs, I think, or I will connect connected jobs. I agree

Nick 50:05
with you or just like an automated factory. Right? So

Kalvin 50:10
yeah, it doesn’t do one thing, but it does, you know all the steps on the command line there. And just because I also when I think when you put too many things into a device, how does it know which command to prioritize, right? That’s what happens to my robot.

Nick 50:28
We’re almost getting there with like my watch. I mean, I had a Pebble Time steel or pebble steel to whenever old school technology, but I feel like it worked almost better than my my watch. Because it did did less. Yeah. Like it just did. It did less, but did them better.

Kalvin 50:49
Yeah, I have a zalmi been in the news a lot lately. Because we won’t let them build their cell phones in America or sell their cell phones anyway. It’s a it’s a smart, smartwatch and heavy air quotes because it was $40. And it’s kind of like the first generation Fitbit, like all it does is track my steps and my sleep and wake me up and I can read text messages on it. And that’s all I want. I don’t need any different apps on my wrist. I’m not fucking Dick Tracy here.

Nick 51:21
Although you wish you could be?

Kalvin 51:23
No, there’s a time. Oh, yeah, I want to be Dick Tracy. But there’s never a time where I want to answer a phone call on my wrist.

Nick 51:31
The only time I do that, it’s actually really convenient. I think it’s case by case. But for me and my wife whenever because we’d like to call each other on the way home from work. You know, say you need to pick something up at the store or something or what’s for dinner. And we just get the most horrible, like, reverberations in our cell phones. And cops get you if you have that shit. Yeah, anywhere like, say your because I’ve been built into your car. I drive a 2008. And so we have Bluetooth, but I mean, it works like one and 150 times I try to connect it.

Kalvin 52:05
That’s understandable. All right, I’ll let you slide with your watch, then. There we go. The final award is the most compelling problem that can only exist in the future. Nick, what did you go with?

Nick 52:19
I chose motherfucking Minority Report set in 2054. So my whole thing is the whole concept of pre crime detection and elimination of crimes is good in theory. But when you looked at, if you look at it, objectively, it’s three fucking people in a tank making predictions. I guess they have some pretty cognition. They are then put into mental anguish with the fucking halos. You’re basically the bottom line all

Kalvin 52:50
the time, too. Isn’t that what they find out in the movie? I’ve never seen Minority Report.

Nick 52:54
Oh, no, they’re not wrong all the time. But they can be fooled. Like you can beat the system and it’s supposed to be foolproof and there it’s just you’re fucking with people’s lives here. And I gotta say this. And I think everyone listening to this who is an American will agree with me. I would burn this shit down. Before I fucking would sit there and be like, yeah, I you know, these people have not committed a crime. Let’s go ahead and

Kalvin 53:20
let’s get to jail.

Nick 53:21
Right know what they do is they put a thing called a halo on them. And it basically puts you in it lobotomize you, you’re just you’re just talking chair. And then they put you in a tank like a little tiny sell. You don’t see the light of day and they put it’s like your fucking book and they put you on the book. They put you on a bookshelf, and they got a lot of cool tech in that too. They have a sick stick. And it’s like a baton that you jab someone with and then we’ll throw up everywhere. It’s fucking hilarious, right? I mean, it’s Isley

Kalvin 53:54
twins puking pastels.

Nick 53:56
There you go, but with a stick and Tom Cruise’s and it’s so it’s really really cool. But uh yeah, I have the guns in that in that movie are really you like wind them up and they shoot air? But it’s anyway I’m or gravity. Sorry.

Kalvin 54:14
Dude in No Country for Old Men had a gun that shot air.

Nick 54:18
Not yet shot that shot a rod about four inches out that would go there. No, it’s

Kalvin 54:26
No Country for Old Men. It’s boring. So

Nick 54:28
fuck, no. That is the best movie ever made. It’s used to kill cattle. It shoots a rod into their brain and kills them instantly.

Kalvin 54:37
I knew all that. I didn’t I thought it was just like the compressed air did all that work.

Nick 54:42
That’s some serious compressed air.

Kalvin 54:44
Yeah, well, that’s what I was thinking.

Nick 54:47
Yeah, I mean, I just pre crime kiss my ass. Like, what do you you know, it’s just you just

Kalvin 54:54
tell the person Hey, you’re gonna commit a crime and then they don’t like this person. I know they’re gonna commit a crime.

Nick 55:00
Yeah, no, I mean, that’s just not as fun. Gonna have Tom Cruise coming in a fucking jetpack. So that’s my big

Kalvin 55:10
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that’s definitely compelling because that you got the morality issues. You’ve got religious morality issues on top of morality issues on top of morality issues. Well, I

Nick 55:21
mean, technology they have like self driving cars and stuff like that. So I just I feel like with a simpler life to take that much of a power grab. That’s fucked up. That is a serious fucking problem.

Kalvin 55:37
So I went with Ender’s Game. Ooh, which takes place sometime after 100 years in the future. That’s a great. Using kids to commit alien genocide by making them believe they’re playing video games is really only something that Harrison Ford with his support. Yeah, I can do that shit. Have you ever read Ender’s Game?

Nick 56:03
I have not read it. But I’ve watched the movie. And the movie is

Kalvin 56:07
good. It doesn’t mostly good job kind of capturing the spirit of the book. While being way less detailed.

Nick 56:14
I read up enough about the book because I was very curious afterwards is a new is a big deal is like why is this so popular? Yeah. And, you know, it’s it’s one of those classics, kind

Kalvin 56:25
of like doing that just a Class II fi novel. And it’s a series I only read the first one because it’s incredibly dense with exposition explaining the world and not letting world building like just explaining the world. And rather than like, why it’s like that there are just these long long stretches of boring explanations. Or Enders kind of crawling through the mind game slowly and methodically. It’s like if George Martin, George RR Martin took steroids and start building his world.

Nick 56:54
Because it’s not like just smoked a bunch of dope.

Kalvin 56:56
Yeah, it’s not. And he just drones on and on, on every detail of everything. And I it’s, it’s hard. Some people like that. Not I am. I’m usually all for world building, but it doesn’t ever feel like its world. Like it’s world building, but it’s not expanding the world in any way.

Nick 57:14
It’s world listing. Yes, it’s like, yeah, that green, you know, severe trickle pot there.

Kalvin 57:22
And I would say that’s the biggest thing that the movie misses out on, which is for a movie, probably a good thing. But in the book, he kind of goes deeper and deeper into the mind game, he meets the matriarch of the alien species and communicates with her telepathically kind of for like, as he’s still going through the trials and the battles. And, you know, he starts gaining empathy for the aliens, because he thinks he’s playing a game. But he’s also telepathically communicating and gets all this empathy for them before he actually, you know, goes on the final attack, which he still thinks are simulations. And it just, it hits a lot harder when he finally realizes that he destroyed this alien race, and that those weren’t simulations. I think the movie does a good enough job of having come to the realization and coping with it, they just don’t have all the baggage on it that the book does, where he’s actually having these conversations actually learning from the aliens and, and bonding with them a little bit.

Nick 58:18
They don’t quite let the humanity all the way in just a little bit, they open the door,

Kalvin 58:23
no. And so in the movie, at the end, he takes off with the alien Queen egg to kind of re colonize somewhere else and allow the aliens to have their lives back. But I’m pretty sure in the book, he realizes he destroyed just one of several of these alien planets. And so he ventures out to find others and make peace with them because he’s still able to communicate with that master Queen, or whatever it is. And he’s trying to clear his conscious conscience and kind of help them rebuild and find out what they’re doing, and why they attacked in the first place.

Nick 58:55
They would fuck that kid up. They’re like, we’re coming. Well, no, no, no, they

Kalvin 58:58
just been talking to them like they know it.

Nick 59:02
And he still blew up a fucking planet. That’s fair. You think someone wouldn’t be like, dawg, I’m going to skin you alive, you’re gonna get hurt. It’s not gonna be tough.

Kalvin 59:11
Yeah, I’m a little fuzzy on the details, because like I said, I was very, very bored. And I was constantly slipping in and out of attention to it, but I paid pretty good attention towards the end. But really back to the real point here. This could only happen in the future using kids who are good at video games and making war into a video game and then lying to them to win the game. But really, they’re killing people or aliens. I mean, we have the same thing in season four of Arrested Development with buster. So you know,

Nick 59:40
that’s what happens right now.

Kalvin 59:41
It’s having to have at least been floated out there as an idea at some point if it’s going on and Arrested Development,

Nick 59:46
and did they give them Xbox controllers to blow people up in the Middle East. Right now what

Kalvin 59:51
war is, war is in definitely will continue to become less and less a human effort. We have drones out there. They’re constantly pressing. for remote control, you know, soldiers are exosuit type things, different weapons, military vehicles, and honestly, that’s going to be the next logical step, right? If we don’t have any human cost to war, then decisions become easier. And at some point, when people realize we’re fighting our robots against somebody else’s robots, then maybe we get to this point where somebody realizes what’s, what are we doing here, we’re just, we’re just robot fighting, which again, I’m all for robot fighting.

Nick 1:00:27
I’m there. till that point, someone will be a dick and break the Geneva attend Geneva attention to Geneva Convention squared, where you know, robots don’t kill humans, and then it’s fucking on.

Kalvin 1:00:40
And so my point is, if real remote control warfare, everything’s remote controlled in the way it isn’t Ender’s Game, if that becomes a thing, the next step is releasing it as a super cool video game, and then quote, unquote, recruiting of the best players. And those players are most likely in the 13 to 22 year old range, right? As those people have time and dexterity to play games at a high level. And those people also can’t grasp the full weight of what they’re doing. So we’re really like, if it continues this way, Ender’s Game could be a potential future for us.

Nick 1:01:14
Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.

Kalvin 1:01:16
And then you get the question morality comes in. First, you know, are your recruiting in line to these kids to fight your wars? And then also, what are those wars actually accomplishing? Who are these child soldiers now killing? What atrocities are they responsible for? That they’re unaware of? How do they cope with that when they realize that they’re committing atrocities like that? And then again, raises all those questions. And that’s really something that the future could only happen in the future because I got the video games are the devil.

Nick 1:01:44
You just you hire Michael Jordan. And every time some kid gets up early, you say, fuck them, kids.

Unknown Speaker 1:01:51
There you go.

Nick 1:01:53
There you go. Enter you’re upset. You ended a planet. Fuck you, buddy.

Kalvin 1:01:59
So those are our five words, we gave out best vehicle best future to live in best piece of tech. And most realistic artificial intelligence and the most compelling, compelling problem that could only exist in the future. Do we miss any categories? Nick?

Nick 1:02:15
I had a couple I had three actually. So I got best fashion trend and or style. Like that. That’s I actually chose I Am Legend, because Will Smith. I mean, he’s got good style in that movie.

Kalvin 1:02:30
Yeah, iRobot. Same reason. Just Yes, Alpert.

Nick 1:02:34
stylistic as fuck. I think we can.

Kalvin 1:02:37
I think we can put the matrix and the succulents there. They’re basically just wearing rags

Nick 1:02:41
in trench coats.

Kalvin 1:02:43
I know this, but you gotta give a shout out to Back to the Future too, with the self lacing shoes and the jacket that resizes itself to fit you perfectly. Like those are some that’s some good stuff.

Nick 1:02:53
That’s kind of dope. I mean, that would be absolutely acceptable.

Kalvin 1:02:57
You should watch the movie and then you know what I’m talking

Nick 1:02:59
about. Now? I’m a rebel, dude. I don’t fucking to that. All right. Okay. Sorry. I’ve been spending too much time around my nephew who’s 16 He’s a fucking rebel dog. All the fucking in stinky two. I didn’t realize motherfuckers like that stinks. so bad. Best and Worst futuristic food. So like snowpiercer 13. mugs.

Kalvin 1:03:33
snowpiercer. Human. Yeah, that’s

Nick 1:03:37
gross. And when I think about it, it’s like all those futuristic movies where they eat like a pod, like a tiny little pill. And they’re like,

Kalvin 1:03:43
I would love that. I’m so cool. Give me the Give me the pill that I’d get right and keep going. I’m not a big like, Let’s sit and have a meal type person. I’m just like, the eating is just the thing you have to do to get on with your life.

Nick 1:03:57
Right? I like to eat good food, and then I poop it out. That’s just the way it goes. I

Kalvin 1:04:04
don’t know about best food. But the worst food is definitely the again going back to back Back to the Future to they. Instead of microwaves they have hydrator so they have these little tiny pieces of Yeah, and put it in the hydrator and it blows up to a real I couldn’t do that. I’m like, there’s no way this thing came from that thing.

Nick 1:04:20
Get out of town. That pizza looked amazing. I saw I did see that clip. It was half pepperoni, half peppers. That look fantastic. But uh, no, I mean, think of it like this not in the matrix. I wouldn’t open up the door. I’m throwing myself the fuck out of here. I’m not even I’m bald. I’m fucking puke a notch. I’m already bald. But you know, I don’t have to be in the matrix for that. But I’m not eating snot. Right,

Kalvin 1:04:49
tap back in.

Nick 1:04:50
Yeah, don’t give me the fucking snot and then I also got the best slash worst futuristic novelty. So I’m thinking that Bruce Willis’s short cigarette and the machine that like manages his smoking in the fifth element. Okay, you ever seen that?

Kalvin 1:05:06
Yeah. Well, No, I haven’t. But I know he’s talking about

Nick 1:05:10
right. He’s trying to quit and it gives him like, you know, as the movie progresses, progresses, the filter gets longer and longer, and the actual tobacco gets shorter and shorter. And it’s timed. I think that’s kind of a dope little novelty.

Kalvin 1:05:24
I mean, yeah, we have those sometimes use the E cigarettes, except nobody actually wins himself off of them. Well, you

Nick 1:05:31
can’t fucking it doesn’t. I guess different. I’m sorry. You’re wrong, Calvin. Um,

Kalvin 1:05:39
so I kind of I was kind of lumping that in with the best tech but there’s like there. The problem with that is there’s so much like actual really good things like the Oasis and the matrix itself is a piece of tech and the standard implant like all that is so far and beyond I like this kind of sub category of like, what’s the kind of little day to day thing that you’re using? Right? And I think the hoverboard Back to Back to the Future to again is really great. The seashells are bad. And demos stupid

Nick 1:06:11
out. Yes.

Kalvin 1:06:13
Yeah, so there’s some stuff there. I had a strangest product placement like what product feels the most out of place being advertised in

Nick 1:06:19
the future? That’s fucking good. You get that from Demolition Man?

Kalvin 1:06:23
No, because the franchise wars I think Taco Bell could actually win the franchise wars. They would

Nick 1:06:31
keep your breakfast up. They would when their breakfast is on point. I went

Kalvin 1:06:35
to idiocracy where Carl’s Jr won the franchise wars.

Nick 1:06:40
There you go.

Kalvin 1:06:41
There’s there’s no way Carl’s Jr. is the one that survives 500 years.

Nick 1:06:45
Is it Carl’s Jr. Or Hardy’s where you’re from?

Kalvin 1:06:49
I don’t we don’t have either here. It’s hard. He’s down in Florida, but we don’t have either in anywhere near me, which is a good thing. Probably. Yeah, idiocracy. It also features Pepsi, Starbucks, Costco those types of things. But those feel like they could they could be around 500 years from now Carl’s Jr. No way.

Nick 1:07:08
Oh, no, man, two for $3 bacon, egg and cheese biscuits. It’s fucking life.

Kalvin 1:07:13
The people are also named after brands, but the brands don’t exist anymore. Like there’s somebody named Fredo and Formica and things like that. Yeah. A lot of fun.

Nick 1:07:21
It’s a good movie. I like it. And that’s,

Kalvin 1:07:24
I think that’s pretty realistic that we’re we’re 15 years away from naming somebody Fredo. Like, I there’s probably somebody named Fredo.

Nick 1:07:33
I mean, there’s like a shitload of people named Fredo.

Kalvin 1:07:35
I think a Frodo

Nick 1:07:37
there’s a shitload of people named Frodo. I guarantee it. Rough for my

Kalvin 1:07:41
son. I don’t know. The other one, I had his best and worst future job.

Nick 1:07:49
That’s a pretty good one.

Kalvin 1:07:51
Robot boxer is obviously up at the top.

Nick 1:07:55
I mean, that’s literally where I would be.

Kalvin 1:07:57
Yeah, and any version of future COP is at the bottom. iRobot Blade Runner? Robocop? Like no way there’s there’s just there’s too many new and strange threats to deal with that. There’s no way that anything going on being a cop is worth it or enjoyable in any way.

Nick 1:08:14
When they mostly fight dirty, they’ll shoot your dick off, man.

Kalvin 1:08:17
There. Nobody no cop in a future movie. Looks like they’re having a good time ever.

Nick 1:08:24
Hell no. And they’re usually like obese divorced, fucking truly upset or getting their dick shot off?

Kalvin 1:08:31
Yeah, Will Smith in iRobot is super obese. I mean, I think he is divorced, though. So there you go.

Nick 1:08:38
I don’t think he’s divorced. He’s just extremely lonely.

Kalvin 1:08:41
No, he’s divorced, because the lady is a psychologist. And when he first meets her, she’s asked him all these questions and he’d be like, you should be my ex wife or my my ex wife told you to ask me that. He keeps making little comments on that.

Nick 1:08:53
There you go.

Kalvin 1:08:54
There you go. So it is alright. Thanks for that. So the last thing for moving to the sukla devs. And this is different from the best future. What aspects of the future movies do you think are gonna bleed into real life within our lifetime?

Nick 1:09:06
I think your point of fuckin robot individualized AI God, I would love that. Well, I mean, we all we already have like fighting robot shows.

Kalvin 1:09:15
Yeah, no, I want the real rockem sockem robots like we see in real steel.

Nick 1:09:21
That’d be tough.

Kalvin 1:09:22
And beyond that, I want robots to replace every athlete. Not even maybe not replace just have a separate but equal robot league. And at the end, no way dude, you have your robot champion player human champion for total sports supremacy.

Nick 1:09:39
LeBron James would still win that shit. Like, with robots though. That would be boring as fuck. I see that shit on what fox news? Or Fox their little robot guy.

Kalvin 1:09:52
There’s there’s this running joke in How I Met Your Mother where they go to watch robots versus wrestlers. And I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted to see a fictitious thing. More than robots versus wrestlers other than the NBA verse RBA championship game that I just made up, like 10 seconds

Nick 1:10:06
ago. Steph Curry would get packed at the three point line.

Kalvin 1:10:12
Every five seconds, go go gadget arms pretty much. They’ve got wack. They’ve got a few older video games that kind of cover robots playing sports. mutant Football League exists on the switch right now. I want to play it but I haven’t gotten into it yet. For basketball, there’s bill lamb beers combat basketball for the Super Nintendo.

Nick 1:10:31

Kalvin 1:10:32
It’s terrible. It’s the worst games I’ve ever played in my life. But it sounded awesome. So I went, I tried to play it. It’s insane. You have no idea where the ball is where it’s going. You constantly are like getting out of bounds. You can’t shoot the ball for shit. You can’t play defense. It’s just a mess. There’s also super baseball 3000 for Super Nintendo. That not good either. Very weird. So what was the thing you were saying? I’m sorry, I cut you off with my boxing robots. Because everything comes back to boxing robots.

Nick 1:11:07
Oh, it’s just all i thought was individualized tech. Yeah. Are they I? Yeah.

Kalvin 1:11:14
Yeah. And we’re seeing that. Yeah, yeah. Sort of care to expand? No,

Nick 1:11:21
no, not really. I just think that’s we kind of touched on most of that earlier. I think it’s just going to be really specialized AI that takes a lot of, you know, the effort out of our lives.

Kalvin 1:11:35
Yeah, I think that’s the point. We’re getting to with it. I think more realistically than boxing robots, which again, like, let’s get on that, Elon Musk, what are you doing? Sending cars into space and all this shit? Just get us the boxing robots.

Nick 1:11:51
It’s like I’m listening to your show. And I finally get to get an idea.

Kalvin 1:11:56
Demolition Man is oddly the most prescient future movie that I watched. You think last month? Yes. Just you got to ignore the crazy stuff like cryo prisons, franchise wars and the seashells. But a lot of the less crazy stuff that’s in there, the smaller stuff that you don’t like jump out at you. They’re pretty spot on. Let me give you a rundown here. They’ve got computer therapist, that’s the thing that exists. computers use emoji like typeface to relay messages to people. That’s the thing that exists, cameras and tracking ability on everything. Again, that’s the thing that exists. We all walk around with a camera and tracker on us at all times and your cell phone. This is true. If you think about something like they have this verbal morality statue, where basically if you say a cuss word, one of these ever all seeing eyes prints out a ticket for you for saying the word fuck. And that seems outlandish, until you think of any large online multiplayer lobby that already kind of uses this type of thing. We’re just not the government and police force doing that. You know,

Nick 1:13:03
yeah, but I’d be I’d be pissed, dude, I cuss way too much.

Kalvin 1:13:06
Oh, yeah, I’d be getting tickets all over the place. But the the, the technology behind it exists, we’re just not getting tickets for it. But you can get banned from you know, online lobbies and things like that. And, you know, a lot of conservatives seem to think that we actually live in this world right now, where you can’t say what you want, wherever you want, because you know, Twitter won’t let them threaten Congress people openly

Nick 1:13:26
but my free speech. And there’s

Kalvin 1:13:29
Dennis Leary plays kind of this revolutionary character, underground character, and that’s what these people think that they are. They think that they’re fighting for freedom when really they’re just overgrown man babies bitching that they’re not as privileged as they think they should be. Or some imagined oppression because people of color should be treated like people and that somehow people of color treated like people. That’s not fair, rich white dudes anymore.

Nick 1:13:52
Yeah, the whole world’s gonna just explode.

Unknown Speaker 1:13:55

Nick 1:13:56
Fuck those people. Yeah, they can eat dicks.

Kalvin 1:14:01
Hybrid self driving cars. That’s the thing that is very close to that they exist. They’re just not

Nick 1:14:08
100% safe. Yeah, they’re not 100%

Kalvin 1:14:09
safe. And they’re not ubiquitous, right. And by hybrid, I don’t mean gas electric there. You can drive them or they drive themselves, kind of like an iRobot. There’s a version of the police force that has been quote unquote, defunded and they don’t utilize violence but instead approach situations as needed and apply logic and sympathy to these confrontations. You know, I usually got shit out of a bunch of them, but

Nick 1:14:34
they usually got some psychological training. Yeah.

Kalvin 1:14:39
Somewhere in between completely militarized and completely software was this knife just guns through all of you can’t know shit, but it’s Wesley Snipes. Shout out Wesley Snipes, for Demolition Man. They’ve got interconnected government systems that are super easy to hack again, something that exists now. zooms out video conference calls. No physical contact. Greetings. got that going on right now.

Nick 1:15:06
Demolition Man is a fucking on point.

Kalvin 1:15:08
I know strict gun regulations, radio stations that only play commercials. Most of the radio is commercials. A lot of 90s nostalgia going on. Sandra Bullock’s character is like obsessed with the 90s there’s a Schwarzenegger upright presidency and that you know, that seems kind of call and easy compared to what we just went through.

Nick 1:15:30
I will take that dude. He’s a genuinely decent human being.

Kalvin 1:15:33
Except he can’t be president because he was not born a US citizen. So

Nick 1:15:38
he’s more American than so many where

Kalvin 1:15:40
that’s fair, but it’s also in the Constitution. So I get it, I get it. We have a mass corporate takeover. When this is citizenry is fearful and desperate. You can’t see out you don’t see Apple swooping in to pick up the pieces of our crumbled lives after this pandemic. Oh, they’re coming.

Nick 1:15:59
I hope Jeff Bezos. A lot

Kalvin 1:16:01
of conversations about consent before sex like they really have a good deep conversation about it. Like 1993 Demolition Man knew what it was doing.

Nick 1:16:11
I swear to God, they had a fucking What are they called? I was gonna say seeing eyeball.

Kalvin 1:16:18
That’s every eyeball. What are they? I

Nick 1:16:20
hope so crystal ball. And if you’re Yeah, that there you go. They had a crystal ball, Sylvester Stallone, and all that coke. Just that combination just fucking made this futuristic movie into reality.

Kalvin 1:16:33
Well, and a lot of future movies that kind of like touch on these types of things or have one or two of them, but they always take it a step too far Demolition Man. It doesn’t in some cases, but these are like real types of things that that actually sustain and are going to continue to move forward as we move into the future. Like Demolition Man hit the nail on the head with a lot of these things. Right? For a dumb action movie that it’s really fantastic.

Nick 1:16:57
You know, there really is more to the dumb action movie than I ever thought until I hit like my most recent age.

Kalvin 1:17:04
Yeah, this one’s got action. It’s got bad but also awesome one liners, car chases, kung fu social commentary, Stallone, Snipes. It’s amazing. Sandra Bullock. The only way it could be any better is if they’re stealing cars.

Nick 1:17:19
Or there’s fighting robots.

Kalvin 1:17:22
Yeah. Both of those things, stealing cars to fight robots.

Nick 1:17:27
or stealing robot cars. The transform into fighting robots?

Kalvin 1:17:33
Yeah, I don’t think we’re getting all this stuff by 2032 as Demolition Man kind of predicted. But having this kind of stuff is going to keep leading into real life more than anything from the matrix or, you know, alien is going to write probably. So shout out to Demolition Man. Yeah, gotta go watch that show. You should. It’s super fun.

Nick 1:17:59
I’ve heard

Kalvin 1:18:00
all right, let’s move into the suckling pigs again, we will move through these quite quickly. What do you got for the worst vehicle? Worst vehicle? I

Nick 1:18:08
got the motorcycle from dread, which takes place in 2017 so I fucking love that movie. Not only does it look really aesthetically displeasing, it looks fucking dumb. He gets in a pursuit with a van at high speeds. They could literally just slam on their brakes and he’d be fucking paste. Like Sideswipe them. He’d be fucking over.

Kalvin 1:18:30
It was never a good idea.

Nick 1:18:33
No, and it can only fire one direction. How? Like, what if? What if he takes a turn too fast? Or he just slams on his brakes and fucking smears? You?

Kalvin 1:18:43
He’s clearly not concerned with any of those things. Well, the

Nick 1:18:46
thing that pissed me off the most cabin, which it probably shouldn’t have is he couldn’t even catch up to the goddamn man. It’s a minivan with three people in it. It’s like falling apart and he could not catch up to it.

Kalvin 1:19:00
Stupid that’s fair. The spinners from Blade Runner the flying police cars.

Nick 1:19:07
Those are kind of wack

Kalvin 1:19:08
it flies but like what else does it do? It’s got a lot of controls in screen fly.

Nick 1:19:12
Fucking you know only flies. It looks

Kalvin 1:19:16
like it’s just distracting as all hell to be trying to drive one of those to be honest.

Nick 1:19:21
Thank god they’re driving themselves. Yeah,

Kalvin 1:19:23
there’s a ton of shit going on inside the cab of that. It’s got two wheels on the front still, for some reason. It just looks and feels pretty stupid.

Nick 1:19:32
Ain’t having it

Kalvin 1:19:33
also in Edge of Tomorrow, live die repeat this are omental mentioned Socrative they have to get across the country in some shitty like 2004 minivan, so I think that should be considered for worse vehicle.

Nick 1:19:45
That’s a great, great movie.

Kalvin 1:19:46
It really is. I don’t I don’t know that that takes place far enough in the future to actually qualify because it’s like it was made in 20. I’m not sure when it takes place in 2020 because the initial alien attack happened in 2019 and then they develop the exosuits and all that and they the main action takes place in 2020 All right, so for the worst future to live in, I went with Avengers endgame.

Nick 1:20:13
Um, yeah,

Kalvin 1:20:16
this is gonna be the hardest because you live through the tragedy. You know a lot of these guys, we well, if you’re living in it, you probably did a lot of the future movies that we talked about that the character either comes from in the past to the future and is adjusting or they’re already living in the future, right? It’s 30 years in the future. But they like they developed with the future this stuff this all happened in a snap literally. And it would be so impossible to cope with the level of tragedy on a daily basis and just have no answers for it. Because you think the vendors are out here telling people what really happened? No, no fucking way they’re out there telling people are happy.

Nick 1:20:56
Yeah, I guess we failed and then half the universe is gone. You’re sorry

Kalvin 1:21:00
you sitting there with nothing while the world continues to fall apart around you. And then just when you start to come around, it’s five years later, finally beginning to move on. Or they’re like boo. Everyone’s back. Don’t worry. Don’t do they’re fine.

Nick 1:21:14
Don’t give me hope.

Kalvin 1:21:17
What did you have for the worst future to live

Nick 1:21:18
in? Wally? Yes,

Kalvin 1:21:21
fat piece of shit.

Nick 1:21:23
I just I literally wrote everyone is so fat and Earth is dirty AF. Runner Up? Is I Am Legend.

Kalvin 1:21:30
Yep, that would be rough. That was that was on my list of potentials but

Nick 1:21:33
those vampires are loud as fuck man. And they can you can fuck off. Yeah, it’s killing dogs.

Kalvin 1:21:40
What do you have for the worst piece of tech?

Nick 1:21:43
This one is, this one was super easy. I chose David from Pro medius. Okay, cuz he fucking sucks man. He is a dickhead. fuck that

Kalvin 1:21:53
guy. And it carries right over and alien covenant. I watched both of those last night

Nick 1:21:57
I drew both in one night cat

Kalvin 1:22:01
well, so I watched I watched from atheists because it was on my list of things to watch because I wanted to see how the med pod worked again, I wanted to see a little bit more David and the ship and all of that. And then I got to the end of Prometheus. And I’m like, I know David plays a role in covenant. What does he actually do? And I was just like, I just got watch covenant now. And so I did. Yeah, I

Nick 1:22:20
watched covenant when it first came out on DVD. And I was upset.

Kalvin 1:22:26
They don’t stand up to alien and aliens. But I enjoy both of those movies.

Nick 1:22:30
I like Prometheus and I enjoy to a certain extent alien covenant. There’s

Kalvin 1:22:34
a lot of aliens and a couple scenes of covenant which is really dope. So

Nick 1:22:39
right. And I mean, the fact that technology has come so far to bring the ship to life. Agreed. Sorry, I had I had a

Unknown Speaker 1:22:50
yawn there again. Yeah, nap, Nick.

Nick 1:22:54
Dude, open up since 230. our

Kalvin 1:22:55
listeners are yawning too, after almost an hour and a half of futures that they cannot live in.

Nick 1:23:00
Let’s let’s get it. Let’s move through this stuff.

Kalvin 1:23:02
All right. So David, yeah, he sucks. He’s a dick. I went back to Demolition Man with the seashells. Yeah, it’s a bad piece of tech man.

Nick 1:23:12
So explain this to me. How do

Kalvin 1:23:13
I dress so here’s stone stated in interviews that two of the shells were used to clamp and remove waste, while the third was used to scrape the remainder.

Nick 1:23:24
So you’re telling me Everyone just has the super solid shifts the page you grip from your ass right out? And then you scrape the rest of it? Yeah, the scraper right within abrasive surface. That’s possibly you know, remnants of sand. And well, no, they’re,

Kalvin 1:23:42
they’re like steel. They look like they’re stainless steel or something. But I don’t know that that’s better. That’s even

Nick 1:23:47
it’s worse. But how do you how do you fucking get anything off with that that just smear shit everywhere? I

Kalvin 1:23:53
don’t know. Thank you Stallone and whatever interview also Demolition Man, all their computer systems have the voice output for absolutely everything they do. And that’s super annoying. So I got to put that up there with the worst tech as well. Yeah, it’s one thing that you have to like look at the loading screen, but having a voice just going searching for info, loading info, retrieving info reading you the info. That’s just obtrusive. Good. Fuck it.

Nick 1:24:17
You know, Stallone was like,

Unknown Speaker 1:24:18
you are

Nick 1:24:22
you’re just scraped off? Yes. They read everything Dude, I can’t read. I can’t fucking you know carry.

Kalvin 1:24:31
So for the least realistic AI. I went your route but the opposite of your route because this is the worst Blade Runner replicants.

Nick 1:24:43
So these are us far least race related. So

Kalvin 1:24:45
these are by far the most lifelike, but I don’t think we’re ever going to get to a point where AI so closely remembers him or resembles human experience. And here’s why. As pointed out in a lot of these movies, and frankly throughout our human history, humans can’t help but enslave other things. We fucking love enslaving things. Right? We don’t need to go out and create our own slave labor court here. And important, not make them look like people. Because I don’t know how we haven’t learned anything at this point that slavery is bad and that the subjugated people are eventually going to get wise to the fact that they’re being subjugated, and they’re gonna fight back against it. That’s not a good idea when we genetically engineer these slaves to be bigger, faster, stronger and better in every way possible than we are.

Nick 1:25:33
And there’s a shitload of them.

Kalvin 1:25:34
Yeah, they live off world, but clearly they can get back. And I

Nick 1:25:39
mean, they have guns too.

Kalvin 1:25:40
If a being has the capacity to develop to develop feelings like they do in Blade Runner, how about we just don’t force them into slave labor? You know, that sounds tight to me. Maybe the machines in the matrix are right after all, and all the machines and Terminator, and every other AI that’s ever turned on, it’s in a movie because people kind of suck, and we need to stop turning everything into slaves.

Nick 1:25:59
I mean, at least the robots and fucking the matrix gave you like an alternate reality to live in that’s comfortable that everyone else just fucking smears you on the pavement.

Kalvin 1:26:09
So I just I don’t think this is going to happen anytime in the near future. I think we’re gonna keep getting better and better. A I don’t think we’re going to try to make it more lifelike. Because when robots look like people, it’s going to be hard to enslave them on a humanitarian level. Well, then

Nick 1:26:26
everyone’s gonna have sex with them.

Kalvin 1:26:28
Well, that’s the other thing.

Nick 1:26:31
Yeah, we’ll leave it at that.

Kalvin 1:26:33
We’re gonna have to make sure that we can enslave them. Otherwise, why are we creating this AI so if it looked like people, we’re not going to do that. And it’s just it’s a bad plan to create artificial people send them off world of slaves. If they return for some reason, hunt them down. And then it’s hard to hunt them down when they look like everyone else. So why did we make them look like us in the first place if we can identify them easily to take them out? Because this is the plan that they might one day come back at us do all the first few steps but make them their skin green or give them giant heads do something that they don’t fucking look like people?

Nick 1:27:09
You should really be a script doctor.

Kalvin 1:27:13
I I just don’t i don’t see as making a real living people as artificial intelligence.

Nick 1:27:19
I mean, I think a couple people would try and then regulation would just derail it.

Kalvin 1:27:23
Yeah. What did you have for the least realistic? Yeah.

Nick 1:27:28
Fucking the robot from Bicentennial Man, which takes place in 2048

Kalvin 1:27:36
I ever Miss Ai. That is a long and boring Robin Williams. Oh

Nick 1:27:39
my god. So this AI is programmed to perform the tasks of a butler. But he wants to be human. Even though he sees how fucked up humanity is. Oh my god, so fucking idiotic. If this was real, artificial intelligence or like, even remotely artificial intelligence, you know, as we conceive it, they’d be like, Fuck that shit. I’m gonna eliminate you because you suck.

Kalvin 1:28:06
Yeah, absolutely. You guys are gonna try and enslave us. So I’m gonna enslave you before you can do that.

Nick 1:28:12
Pretty much. Serve me bitches.

Kalvin 1:28:16
I completely agree. I tried to watch by some time out man. I was probably like 13 when I rented it. And I was awful. Well, where I’m coming from. Here’s my last few Robin Williams movies that I’ve seen. Hook a lad. JACK Patch Adams. All very fun loving, fun, enjoyable. Robin Williams movies. Then you get Bicentennial Man and it’s just as long fuckin boring. Robot wants to be a human and it is awful. Don’t watch Bicentennial, man if you’ve never seen it.

Nick 1:28:52
Yeah, if you can avoid it. Just

Kalvin 1:28:54
take any advice from 13 year old me it’s don’t watch Bicentennial, man. That’s fair. Right. All right. So one last one here. What is the least compelling problem that could only exist in the future?

Nick 1:29:09
I’m gonna I’m gonna come at you pretty hard. That’s a having the Oasis from Ready Player One. Because people don’t escape reality with headsets Calvin, they do it with drugs. Having a giant competition for billions of dollars and being the sole head of a company that makes one of the coolest innovations and shitloads of other tech. That’s just that’s not gonna fly. I just don’t think that would actually be a problem in the future. Because if you have these mega corporations or something like that makes technology like that. I would have won that shit in like a week. Oh, think okay, so say if Tim Cook just fucking died. And in his world, Tim apple. He was just like, Hey, everyone have a competition to see what I like the most and whoever wins Apple, whoever won would get assassinated in like four hours.

Kalvin 1:30:04
Well, not only that Amazon would take over any competition and they would they would find a way to hire whoever’s winning, or the person who was winning would not be able to win anymore.

Nick 1:30:18
They would just make it impossible. Yeah.

Kalvin 1:30:20
Yeah, that I agree. That’s, that’s solid I went with Wally. I just everyone gets super fat and addicted to screen and screens and lets the ship control their lives for them. I do I don’t find it narratively compelling, but I think we’re gonna try really hard to follow that path and get there. Yeah,

Nick 1:30:39
I mean, probably.

Kalvin 1:30:42
It’s just, it’s not a compelling problem. And I just feel like everybody’s fat lazy. Okay, yeah, I get up. Honorable mentioned idiocracy with the bronto it’s got what plants need. It’s got electrolytes. I just like I know people are dumb, in general, but I don’t feel like we could go so far off the dumb cliff, that we think Gatorade is a viable replacement for water.

Nick 1:31:05
Dude, people think Mountain Dew is a viable replacement for water for

Kalvin 1:31:09
themselves not for growing plants. Or like what happens in idiocracy is Brando buys the FDA and replaces all the water supply with Gatorade like I just because Rondo realized that water was cutting into the future profit margins so they brought bought the FDA and FCC, enabling them to say and do anything they wanted and replace all water with Brando. Aye. Aye. Aye. Just don’t see that happening all over the world. Like maybe one country tries it. Right. But I don’t see the rest of the world letting that happen.

Nick 1:31:39
Fucking Nestle. They’ll do it. No, no, no, they’re trying to fucking privatize water. Once people say, Oh, you can’t privatize water. You can’t do that. You know, that’s a natural resource to be like, Alright, well, I have this fucking

Kalvin 1:31:57
tea dazzle. Tea says. But so the other part of this is that when they replaced all the water with Gatorade, they can’t figure out why nothing’s growing or nothing’s working right? Like, alright, if we’re dumb enough to let Gatorade replace all the water. Somebody’s gotta go like, hey, it’s because we replaced all the water with Gatorade. That’s why the plants don’t grow before. 500 years later,

Nick 1:32:19
no more pronounced for you.

Kalvin 1:32:22
I don’t know. The future is a grim grim spectacle. That’s for sure.

Nick 1:32:26
Yeah, I mean, that’s for god damn sure.

Kalvin 1:32:29
So on that note, thank you for listening to a podcast about something we will always be here in the future. We will live on in our hearts and minds until the year 21. Oh, wait. At least no 2108 that’s the cutoff. And the self destruct up. There you go. Tune in next week. As we cover more you can also listen on YouTube and any of your podcast apps leave us a rating and review subscribe on whatever platform you feel like listening on. Check out our merch at t public comm slash APA something or just search a podcast about something and teepublic you’ll find us where there are there’s links in the description so you can just click on those if you want since you’re already on your phone by something. Yeah, it’d be super tight. Yeah, but the clothes will be super tight. Unless you want them that way. Then you can order a size smaller.

Nick 1:33:21
Yeah, there you go. They fit so nicely. There’s there’s so very comfy.

Kalvin 1:33:24
Check us out on Twitter at APA something at lone underscore podcast. And as always, thank you to those cats for providing all the music for podcasts about something.

Nick 1:33:33
Yes, the sassy stay

Kalvin 1:33:34

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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