Episode 102 – A Podcast About College Movie Superlatives

College movies are a diverse genre on their own, but few stand out from the pack. So, when you want to give College movies made up awards like Kalvin and Nick you tend to gravitate to the good ones! We dive into some of the best of the best College movies and award the best extracurricular activities, roommate, prank, college and more!

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See below for full episode transcripts

Kalvin 0:06
Welcome to a podcast about something where each week we dive deep into whatever it is we find interesting. I’m your host Calvin and joining me from the lambda lambda lambda frat house. It’s your co host, Nick Richardson.

Unknown 0:19
What’s happened? That’s

Kalvin 0:21
the frat house from Revenge of the Nerds. I have never seen revenge. Oh, it’s pretty good. It’s it’s a little harsh in 2020 terms doesn’t really hold up to me to scrutiny. But still pretty funny.

Nick 0:33
Wouldn’t it come out?

Kalvin 0:35
1984 Oh, yeah,

Nick 0:36
mostly I watched Lethal Weapon the other day. I was like, Oh, okay. different times. My God different times.

Kalvin 0:43
Definitely. But we are here today we’re giving out college movie superlatives. I love a good college movie.

Nick 0:49
They’re pretty good. I love them every once in a while. I obviously cannot watch a bajillion cars now.

Kalvin 0:55
No, it would have been rough to do like a binge of like a top 10 like movies to prepare for this, like, luckily, I’ve seen most of the ones I picked a number of times. So it’s kind of just easy to go off memory and I did some googling, to kind of fill in gaps. But yeah, it would be tough because they’re all pretty formulaic and like it’s the same thing. Almost every time you get a party, you get some classes, you get some outrageous pranks. And then the guy gets the girl in the end.

Nick 1:24
Yeah, for the most part, it’s, I mean, they gotta be really funny. Most of the times it really stand out. And I’m the same way I’ve seen most of the ones I picked a couple of times and then I’ve just I waded through a sea of college movies where it’s just like, Man, I’ve never fucking heard of that one.

Kalvin 1:40
Yeah, there’s some there’s some things that I was just like, no fucking clue. So basically, the only qualifier for this was the main plot has to take place at a college. It should probably only be able to take place out of college but that’s not necessarily necessary. You know? Because college lends itself to a lot of Interesting storytelling abilities because things happen in college that can’t happen in the real world or even in like high school because students are there full time. They don’t usually have jobs, they can just do whatever the hell they want. You know, in movies, money is not an object, unless it’s a plot point where they have to get a side job.

Nick 2:19
Yeah, and better pretty. There’s that too. And yeah, they all have nice cars and shit. So it’s like, oh, yeah, it must be some bullshit, bro. That’s not how colleges.

Kalvin 2:30
Yeah, we’re going to talk a little bit about movie college versus real world college when we get into some of these categories. But we are giving away our famous made up awards. We have five awards can’t give the same or to more than one movie and you can’t pick more than one movie for more than one award. No doubling up. Kids call it these days. I thought that I mean, I guess I’m a kid still, because that’s what I still say. Yeah. Your kid at heart, Nick.

Unknown 2:58
Fuck yeah, you and me both.

Kalvin 3:01
I suppose so today we are giving out best extra curricular activity. Good college movie always got to have extracurricular activities going on. best party again gotta have great parties in a college movie. That’s roommates. Always good for some fun, best prank. And the best random Class A lot of college movies. They got weird classes going on that you don’t normally see. Like if you’re just going to college Yeah, they want to make call it for whatever reason. Movies want to make college look more fun than it actually is. Yeah,

Nick 3:34
well, then just more like outrageous and

Kalvin 3:36
right. Like anything can happen.

Nick 3:39
wildcard scholarship. I mean, that’s how they talk you into paying 30 grand a semester or some crazy shit.

Kalvin 3:45
I suppose. So. Not me. I didn’t fall for it, buddy. Good for you. I think college is going to cease to exist as it is soon. Probably within like the next 20 years. Just because I don’t know how necessary it is anymore. The social aspect of it is necessary to have that gap between high school and the workforce into like, kind of try and figure out who you are away from, what you were in high school and away from your parents. But at the same time, like, I took so many bullshit classes, and my major, like, what I did in college has nothing to do with what my job is now. And I think like more often than not, that’s what people are doing is they major in something, but then they find a job because a job is available. Answer Yes. Right. So you can’t just like search out what you went to college for. Or like you don’t get a chance to kind of dip in and out of things in college and it’s just like, I think we’re gonna get more vocational, like maybe a year of general education’s and then you go into something vocational.

Nick 4:58
Yeah, I mean, I Don’t have like a tradesman centric thing. Right?

Kalvin 5:02
Right. Even even things like computer science, engineering, even business classes like those, they’re all broken off from the rest of the school anyway, like your last two years, you’re taking just classes within your major anyways, unless you have some like Gen Ed’s that you didn’t do in your first two years because you’re lazy. Like, you end up being kind of walled off into your own group anyways. So why why are we paying $30,000 a year for that?

Nick 5:30
Yeah, that’s fair.

Kalvin 5:33
Whatever. We’ll see. We’ll see what happens in 20 years get back at me.

Nick 5:37
I will find you bro. And we will have a conversation about this. Let’s do it a podcast about 20 years from now.

Kalvin 5:43
Oh, it’s a good lead. Sounds hot. Where do we think everything will be in 20 years? And then we’ll come back 2040 we’ll check in on it. Sounds good. We’ll completely forget about it. But we’ll be there for that I’ll set up. I’ll set a reminder in my calendar and like that my Google calendar is never going away. It’s always gonna be apart. My life and it will just randomly go off and I’ll be like, Oh yeah, I did have a podcast 20 years ago. It’ll be awesome. No, it’ll still be going. Alright, let’s jump into the categories. Let’s do it. Let’s start with best extracurricular You go first.

Nick 6:16
Alright, my pick four that is best accurate extracurricular activity is playing football. I think that is pretty much the dopest thing specifically being a football star at a pretty solidly out there college. That’s Greg jenko from 22 Jump Street. Nice. Um, yeah, I mean, if you’re gonna pay for water boys college, no, no, fuck that. But yeah, I think he has a hell of a lot more fun. The majority of the movie is spent, obviously at a college there. They’re going to college. And he reaches another level of like stardom and accolades and stuff like that. That’s just I don’t think Bobby boo Shea necessarily I mean, he’s 30 playing with 19 year olds. So yeah, that happens. Oh, I mean, when you put it in that context, wow, that makes me sound like Watch out three years. I’m gonna be fuckin trying out for the fighting. It’s gonna be dope.

Kalvin 7:15
I mean, he’s still got eligibility.

Unknown 7:17
I probably ball on some of those little

Kalvin 7:19
ad Chris Winky could do it. You could do it.

Nick 7:22
Catch me in three years, buddy.

Kalvin 7:24
I always wonder what that would be like, like, I’m not in any shape to go back and play college sports in any way shape or form. But like, could could I really like just attend to d3 school? If I were in shape and actually play properly, there’s something there. I read one thing, there was some dude at like a community college. He’s like 75 playing on their basketball team. You know, he was legit, too. Like he had you know, like the old man game where you just have like your spot on the court. Mm hmm. Like he could get to his spot. He can hit the J from there. Yep. And then you know, he held his own on defense. I watched some video on it like He was fine out there.

Nick 8:01
He was fine.

Kalvin 8:03
He’s 75 year old Yeah.

Nick 8:09
What if he was just like dunking on fools? That’d be Oh my god, Fauci on the court dunking on people. I bet he could fucking dunk on people but

Kalvin 8:20
I would highly doubt it but who knows?

Nick 8:23
Dude sleeps like zero amount of time. And barely sis dudes a straight up basketball star or football star

Kalvin 8:31
like Greg Janka. Like Greg jenko. Yeah, let’s get back on on track here. So we’ve been a very deep into the fictional football universe because next week’s episode is the fictional football draft, which is super exciting, super fun. football’s a great pick for an extracurricular it’s not featured in a lot of college movies usually, unless it’s specifically a college football movie, like all the right moves waterboy Shut up. I don’t know there’s other ones out there. But in 22 Jump Street like you said, it’s just kind of the side thing that happens. It’s not a main plot mover. It’s just something that Chad Channing Tatum gets to enjoy.

Nick 9:14
No, it’s definitely I’m sorry. I don’t mean to disagree with you, but it’s definitely I’m going to jump straight in a while. So I rewatched it like six months ago. It’s a pretty decent that’s like, Why him and what’s this? I think Clark argue a bunch,

Kalvin 9:27
right? I remember that. Yeah, that’s true. That drives the rift between them because in 21 Jump Street, Jonah hills, the cool guy in high school all the sudden and now it gets back in 22 Jump Street that gets back to or Channing Tatum gets to be the cool guy. Correct. cool guy, Channing Tatum. Who would have thunk it.

Nick 9:44
I mean, like Mike bro. Never seen it but Magic Mike. Magic Mike like Mike. Mike is a basketball movie. please delete that.

Kalvin 9:53
Well, I did it the other day too. I was scrolling through and like Mike was on VH one or something. I was scrolling through I saw it and I go Oh, I said to my wife, I was like, hey, like Mike’s on she goes like Mike. I go Oh, I thought was Magic Mike, cuz she doesn’t care about like Mike either follows like Mike Craig makes great. Shout out little bow.

Nick 10:16
Emphasis on little.

Kalvin 10:19
Alright, so my best extracurricular I like your pick of football. I like your pickup. It’s used in 22 Jump Street. Good pic. Thank you, sir. But mine goes to the aforementioned Revenge of the Nerds, the Greek

Nick 10:33
games.

Kalvin 10:35
Now, I’m not sure frats actually do this. But there’s like this goofy decathlon during homecoming and Revenge of the Nerds. And basically, they crown a frat fraternity champion. And I think that’s a really cool idea of just like a bunch of random ass people, getting in groups and getting together and competing and all these different things.

Nick 10:57
Like what are they competing in?

Kalvin 10:59
Well, they have have beer like a beer tricycle race where they do a lap around the small truck, track on a bicycle and then chug a beer after each lap. Okay, they do a charity bake sale as part of it. This is a belching contest, there’s a javelin throw. And they finish up with a musical competition, which the nerds obviously dominate. Do I’m there. That sounds good. Yeah. I’m like, I really have never wanted to be anywhere near becoming part of a frat, like, not my style. No, but I would definitely compete in an event like this, where you’re just doing all this random shit with a group of buddies.

Unknown 11:35
Yeah, that’s just fun.

Kalvin 11:37
I just love that idea of, you know, everybody coming together to compete in useless activities. And at the end of it, you crowned the champion. And the champion doesn’t actually mean anything. It’s like fantasy football, really?

Nick 11:48
Yeah, pretty much. But it’s still really, really fucking fun. You have a good time with people you like, for the most part, exactly.

Kalvin 11:54
Can we create a podcasting version of this? Let’s do it. I think we think we can. I think we need to figure that out. What is the what is the podcasting Greek games look like? What is involved? And how do we get everyone together? Do it?

Unknown 12:07
Damn that Oh, choirs thought.

Kalvin 12:09
Yeah, we’re gonna work on that for anyone out there listening. If you’ve got ideas, send them at us.

Nick 12:13
Yeah, let us know if you want to join.

Kalvin 12:16
So anyway, in the movie, the scenes of the great games are really fun. One of the better parts of the movie is just kind of this montage of the different events. And the nerds kind of use all their nerdiness to gain a leg up in the more athletic competitions. Like, this is super harsh, but I’ve just got to put it out there in the way it is. One of the guys in the tri lamb fraternity is super gay. And he’s chosen to be their competitor in the javelin competition. And like the guy from the jockey frat, he like Chuck says Javelin super far right. But then the nerves design a special Javelin for this guy to throw the super Gay Guy to throw based on his quote unquote limp wristed throwing style. Again, that’s just what happens. Okay, I’m not trying to be offensive but that’s the kind of thing that the nerds are doing is they’re finding ways to use their brains to gain a leg up on the on the more athletic competitions in the beer tricycle race. They take like some solution before getting on the tricycle that helps them not get drunk. So they’re they’re working their brains as well as their athleticism here

Nick 13:35
speed to

Kalvin 13:36
speed couldn’t be that

Nick 13:38
got hammered on the tricycles nice

Kalvin 13:40
and then they use some again harsh me to like not good stuff to win the charity bake sale. Really bad look nowadays, but you know they do what they need to to win. And then like I said they absolutely dominate the musical competition with a technology Electronic wrap that kind of still slaps to this day if you do nothing else if you don’t watch this whole movie, go to YouTube and watch the I would just search for Revenge of the Nerds musical competition you probably find it

Unknown 14:16
you’re doing it right now aren’t you?

Kalvin 14:19
Well we’re in the middle of something here.

Nick 14:21
Oh I’m gonna watch it later I will forget it if I don’t type it up but anyways that sounds pretty tight it but I mean for 1984 that’s pretty standard like the the boat yeah shit that they portray your limp wristed thrown out are you fucking serious? That’s

Kalvin 14:35
that’s just what he wins the javelin competition.

Nick 14:39
The same way with like lethal weapon. You’re just sitting there like yeah, it’s like an uncomfortable chuckle on the inside. It’s like,

Kalvin 14:48
well, and so the way they win the bake sale is that again, this is what happens in the movie, not condoning it in any way. They, at some point earlier in the film they had set up cameras like spy cameras, basically, in one of the sororities, houses, like the hot girl sorority house. So they got all this footage and they’ve got pictures and things like that from them changing and whatnot. So each pie that they sell at the bottom of the pie has a picture of a naked, one of these sorority sisters. So everybody’s buying the pies, obviously, that is not cool. Yes, very harsh. But they win. And it would be a fun thing to compete in without doing the like completely offensive things. Terrible shit. Yeah, you could still compete in these games without doing all that good pick. I like it. Yeah. So we’ll come back to that podcast and Greek games. At some point. We’re gonna get that going. Oh, yeah, you heard it here first. All right, so let’s move on to the best party. I go first here, and I’m gonna point you right back to YouTube. Again, another movie you haven’t seen but you have to go on YouTube and watch this. It’s the riff off from Pitch Perfect riff off the riff off. While you’re on YouTube there, typing riff off, Pitch Perfect. It’s everything you need. I’m not really sure that would want to attend the party here, but I definitely are sorry, I would want to attend the party, but I definitely would not participate in but it is an awesome scene. So let’s say that basically what happens here is a bunch of acapella groups get together in a big empty swimming pool for the acoustics and the different groups have to sing songs and then like when one of them finishes on a word, the next group has to pick up on that same word with a different song. Yeah, it’s it’s super hard to like, but I just like to be sitting on the outside of the swimming pool, drinking beer and watching that would be really cool. We get some really classic songs. And acapella is like a really cool thing when done well, and there’s nowhere that it’s done better than the original ritual riff off in pitch perfect and but like Also, I don’t want to see acapella done badly, right? Oh man, if it’s bad, it’s just like Shut the fuck up. So in a movie version where everything’s perfect, then it’s great.

Nick 17:09
Especially Pitch Perfect.

Kalvin 17:11
Exactly. I just I like to be at a party where there’s something going on rather than just like hanging around and there’s a keg. You know? I need a beer pong I need cornhole. I just need something. You know, the sweet, acapella entertainment would be great.

Nick 17:25
Oh, yeah, it’d be if it’s decent. I’d be sitting there for quite a while.

Kalvin 17:30
Exactly. And then maybe you got a beer pong table up on the side too. So you can play beer pong and watch the competition. Yeah, I’m just you know, that’s that’s my thought. And you got a win. I hope the table so there you go. incentive to win. All right. What do you got for best party?

Nick 17:45
I got the Robert De Niro party from neighbors. Because funny as fuck first off.

Kalvin 17:54
See, here’s my problem with neighbors. What’s that? I don’t

Nick 17:55
know that it qualifies. How does it not qualify

Kalvin 17:58
because it doesn’t happen at a college. happens near the college.

Nick 18:02
It doesn’t there’s nothing that’s

Kalvin 18:03
happening at the actual college campus

Nick 18:05
there. That’s technically part of the college campus as student housing.

Kalvin 18:09
Is it student housing again, I’ve seen neighbors in a while I thought it was just like cuz like a lot of these frat houses are technically off campus. So I thought it was one of those deals where it’s like, an off campus frat house next to just another house that’s close to campus.

Nick 18:23
Well, I mean, either way, don’t they spend a lot of time on the college campus selling molds with their dicks. They also, I’m gonna let you swing with it, because

Kalvin 18:31
you already put it in here.

Nick 18:33
Oh, you’re gonna have to give me a little leeway because I think I personally, I think accounts, half that plot because they’re basically trying to get them to, you know, obviously leave because they’re holding these giant parties that are keeping their little baby up and stuff and they hate their lives. But these kids are still they still got to go to school. So they go to the dean, yada, yada, try to get them kicked out. And it doesn’t necessarily work in their favor. But the Robert De Niro party is fucking off. Imagine a party filled with Robert De Niro’s.

Kalvin 19:03
Um, they’re like a good theme party. not a huge fan of actually participating in the theme again, like, I just want to go and see this stuff. I don’t want to be a part of it. Like, I’m just the guy on the corner playing beer pong all night. I was watching everybody else dress up and throw it in here.

Nick 19:18
I would fucking laugh my ass off just listening to people attempt to sound like Robert De

Kalvin 19:22
Niro. Yeah, a lot of bad dinero impressions going around. Yeah, I could see that.

Nick 19:26
Dave Franco, though, does a pretty funny one. He’s fucking hilarious. And Zac Efron. His taxi driver? Didn’t Nero was pretty good, too. So I mean, yeah, I’m there.

Kalvin 19:36
Everyone’s great. I really like Zac Efron. I don’t know if that’s okay to say but like,

Nick 19:43
sorry, my silence So like, silent there.

Kalvin 19:47
He’s pretty good. Like he makes bad movie choices like dirty grandpa’s not a great movie choice. You know, Baywatch is not a great movie choice. But like the things that he does where he’s trying are really

Nick 19:59
good. I’ve only ever really seen neighbors of his that I’ve really liked

Kalvin 20:05
he’s got some good stuff out there you should you should broaden your Zac Efron filmography like don’t don’t go to high school musical that’s not great. But like have you ever seen 17? Again? No with Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry gets somehow turned back into 17. And when he’s 17 he’s Zac Efron like Zac Efron’s good in that.

Nick 20:26
Matthew Perry is Zac Efron when he’s 17.

Kalvin 20:30
Well, Matthew Perry is the adult.

Nick 20:31
That’s what I’m saying.

Kalvin 20:32
Yeah, yeah. And then he gets like, Freaky Friday back into Zac Efron. You know?

Nick 20:39
I mean, he’s funny, so I’ll check it out. For sure.

Kalvin 20:41
That’s pretty good. But yeah, I am a fan of Zac Efron. Oh, I will try to watch things that he’s in. If they look interesting. He nailed it in, in neighbors for sure. Mm hmm. He did a great job. Mike and Dave need wedding dates and other not a great movie but like a good performance. So that one should have worked Cuz it’s it’s Zac Efron. It’s I’m divine. It’s Anna Kendrick. It’s a surprise. Yeah. Like that’s a great those four should just be able to pretty much do anything together.

Nick 21:10
Adam divine tanked it say Yeah. Yeah.

Kalvin 21:16
Okay, so the riff off verse, The dinero. Party. that’s a that’s a good class right there.

Nick 21:21
I’m going to Nero party for sure. Well, I don’t know what that is. Go YouTube. Jim seen the riff off so well. I’ll watch it directly after this followed by the dinner party.

Kalvin 21:31
All right, so now we move on to best roommates and we’ve got a Twitter poll for the best roommates category. So we asked, we want to know who your favorite college roommate is. The options were Frank the tank from old school Bluto from Animal House, Kimmy Jin from Pitch Perfect. And then other. So Frank, the tank wins by a landslide with 50% Damn, Bluto coming in second with 37 and a half percent other got 12 and a half percent and poor Kimmy Jin got zero percent.

Unknown 22:01
Yes. Because

Kalvin 22:03
no, I’ve got an issue with this because Kevin Jen is the perfect roommate. She’s, you’ve never seen the movie so you can’t

Unknown 22:13
she

Kalvin 22:14
hates Becca, the main character played by Anna Kendrick. And like makes these little snide comments anytime they’re in the room together. But most of the time she’s not in the room with that, like she don’t want to fucking be there at the same time as Becca and to me that’s perfect roommate because then I get the whole room to myself whenever I want.

Nick 22:31
Yeah, and if you really want the whole room yourself, just walk around like with really short shorts on or something and you know, your roommate will just stay in his room the whole time.

Kalvin 22:40
Yeah, man. I don’t think it works the same for girls. Well, I mean, really launcher there’s some offensive he could do something offensive he could do towards it right? Yeah. So let’s go to our comments. We got the Douro parlay our at od parlay our gives a vote for Bluto from Animal House. Have you seen animal health? I have not seen Animal Health I’m a piece of shit. That’s another one that like that does not hold up even though like Revenge of the Nerds the most of the humor still holds up. And Mulhouse even the humor kind of misses nowadays. Yeah, that I mean there’s some funny parts but it’s not like I wouldn’t really say go out of your way.

Unknown 23:19
Yeah, that’s the thing of it there.

Kalvin 23:20
Yeah, I understood that reference at cap understands. Interesting question. How about Mike and Sully from Monsters Inc? I’m not I’m not. I’m not bunking up with them, man. They’re scary. Hell no. That’d be dope. For lovable like they’d be like Mike would be shitting all over the place. are sorry, Sally would be shutting all over the place. Mike would be telling bad jokes the whole time. I’m not seeing it. Then we got another one. George Romero is done. Romero is at Romero is done for Randall from Monsters Inc. Or Monsters University. Yeah, that’s creepy. He’s actually scary and he like he can turn invisible and shit.

Nick 23:58
Like you do that and be like, you Standing in the bathroom while you’re taking a shower.

Kalvin 24:02
Yeah, no shit like that. Not having it Randall friends and players at friends and players See if you can guess what I am now as that get it which that’s a line from Pluto and Animal House where and then he’s got a bunch of mashed potatoes in this house. There’s a gift there. It’s got a bunch of mashed potatoes. Mashed lips. Yeah. I got the cinematic underscore blind spots at cinematic p spots. We got Frank the tank we’re going streaking. grateful. Yeah, thank you to everyone who participated in the weekly poll. That’s at APA something we usually try and do a poll every week. We got maybe some new promotional materials coming soon. But the polls will still be there too. Because we like polls. And a lot of

Nick 24:47
people that sounds like have responded this week. So yes, we’re starting people, mostly new people. Yeah, we hope that stick around.

Kalvin 24:54
Cool. So, Nick, who’s your best roommate?

Nick 24:58
My best roommate is A gentleman by the name of Casey from 21. And over from 2013 saw the movie. Yeah, it’s it’s, it’s pretty so I haven’t I gotta say I haven’t gone back and rewatch, it’s

Kalvin 25:11
not really a rewatch here but like, it’s not a waste of the hour and 45 minutes that it takes.

Nick 25:16
No, definitely not. But I mean, I think he’s definitely gives a shit about his his fellow roommates and I mean, obviously you see what he does with his buddy Jeff, you know, takes care of him make sure he tries to at least he tries to do the right thing. He tries to be the responsible one, you know, so I would be if he was my roommate, I think that would definitely like push me to not do so much stupid shit. I wasn’t really a very like, reckless person. You know, when I went to college, I obviously went to community college. So the big difference, but I just didn’t really hang around with a lot of reckless people like I saw a lot of people do in college and I think I did. Okay. So I think this was milestone

Kalvin 25:59
was in that

Nick 26:00
Yeah. And he was not Casey. That’s no

Kalvin 26:03
the Schuyler asked him this Casey. He’s also in Pitch Perfect. So there you go now, I feel like I haven’t seen him in anything in years. He had a sitcom on TBS for like a year and a half to

Nick 26:15
that he’s probably got plenty of money.

Kalvin 26:17
Yeah, he’s fine. Also Jerry gergich, his daughter in

Unknown 26:22
in 21. And over to listen.

Kalvin 26:24
Yes, Millie may not recall. Huh? But anyway, yes. She’s like the girl, the one girl in the movie.

Nick 26:31
I don’t remember her face To tell you the truth.

Kalvin 26:34
Yes, I was trying to look for a way to fit 21 and over in here because like, like, it’s just a solid college movie. But it just to me, it didn’t do anything best. But I like where you’re going with where your head’s at, of picking the responsible roommate.

Nick 26:49
Oh, hell yeah, he would clean up after himself. You know, obviously, he probably bathes regularly and doesn’t seem like shit. I mean, those are all huge pluses. If you’re going to college I went the opposite way here hit me

Kalvin 27:02
and I will Frank the tank record from old school shy so Frank The tank is going to be super annoying as a roommate, but well yeah he’s also the best type of roommate to have around when you have a party or when you go to a party because he takes any and all attention off of you. And anything that’s like wrong with your living quarters. Like if there’s a mess, people are just gonna assume it’s his fault right? So you never like to other people you never have to take credit for anything that’s going on in whatever your living situation is. He’s also like this great conversation starter because he’s always doing stupid shit. So it gives you that little bit of in in with a girl or just with somebody else to be like, wonder this fucking guy right? Yeah.

Nick 27:48
Hey, you want to watch my roommate do something stupid. Tune in.

Kalvin 27:51
You can get like you get those really easy jokes off to start a conversation with whoever’s around. Plus, you want to go streaking, you got somebody Let’s got your back

Nick 28:01
photo. I mean, he’s just my beef is he’s so fucking loud. like God, dude. Yeah. He’d be annoying.

Kalvin 28:10
Or be annoying. Yeah, he’s got a good heart. I feel like he would do his part around the house when he’s not hammered. Which is important.

Nick 28:17
This is like very minimally he’ll probably keep the living room clean where everybody hangs out so right there’s that he’ll

Kalvin 28:22
he’ll take his dishes from the living room to the kitchen at the very least.

Nick 28:26
Or we’ll just throw them straight in the garbage either when he when he’s

Kalvin 28:29
done eating his giant bowl of cereal.

Unknown 28:31
Yeah.

Kalvin 28:33
Yeah. So I would go Frank the tank just because like it takes the tension off of me and I can kind of like project some things onto him rather than having people think that I’m a slob or whatever. Have you.

Nick 28:46
Yeah, I agree. That’s a good pace.

Kalvin 28:48
fun to have around, you know? Oh, hell yeah. If I’d be a great video game, buddy. He’d be one of those guys that you can play video games with. And you know, like if you start the night and he’s kicking your ass in something, you just be like, hey, let’s grab some beers. And then like two games later, you’ll be kicking his ass the rest of the night because he’ll be too drunk, but he’ll want to keep playing because he thinks he’s still just as good.

Nick 29:10
Like, Hey, bro, you wanna put some money on this? Just kidding,

Kalvin 29:13
right? It’s a good hustle game is like, oh man, you’re kicking my ass. Oh, hey, you want a beer? No. Beer. Yeah. Good beer. It’s like 12%

Nick 29:24
Alright,

Kalvin 29:26
so Frank the tank and Casey from 21 over good pick good picks. I like to pick best prank. There’s a lot to choose from here. every college movie you got to have a prank big time. It’s not a college movie. If there’s not a prank war of some sort. I went with the colon blow prank from van Wilder. Oh, no. I was very, very tempted to go with the dog pastries. And anyone who’s seen van Wilder. I’m not going to go into more detail on that. It was just too disgusting. And I couldn’t call it the best because like That’s like sexual assault kind of. Yeah, you know, you can’t you can’t do that to people

Nick 30:04
that in this day and age, at least maybe back in, you know 84 or something like that just spin out a year 2001

Kalvin 30:13
but the laxative in someone’s drink is just a classic and it’ll always get a laugh and in Van Wilder it’s taken up a notch because Tara Reed does it to her pre med boyfriend on his way to this important test. It’s one thing to just like sneak someone a laxative at a random time, but to go the extra mile and like do it before an important event. Truly diabolical and I gotta give Terry credit for that. Absolutely. Especially like Michael candy is there telling us you always got to take your pregame dump and you know, pretty mad dick. He doesn’t take that to heart.

Nick 30:43
Yeah, I agree. 100% considering that was definitely my pick to Oh, nice. I mean, that’s that’s like the perfect revenge. It’s some of it really hurt. He learned a fucking lesson for being a dick bag. And that’s just that’s a fucking great one, but it doesn’t have it.

Kalvin 31:00
It doesn’t have lasting effects, right? It has lasting effects on him because it was in the middle of a test and he had to leave this test. But like the actual prank doesn’t have lasting effects, like they’re not smashing your car or, you know, like doing anything that’s going to damage property.

Nick 31:15
No, I mean, he’ll

Kalvin 31:16
or your or your river or your personal, like perception in the world.

Nick 31:23
Yeah, well, his perception might be altered a little bit. His

Kalvin 31:26
his will be but people’s perception of him other than like the person giving that test won’t be.

Nick 31:31
Yeah, I mean, they’ll just forget about his matches.

Kalvin 31:34
And van Wilder, it’s one of my favorite college movies. And honestly, you could probably make the argument that van Wilder could win every category that we’re talking about here. Yeah. And to me, that’s what makes a great college movie. It has to hit on these five things. If, if it falls short on any of these five things. It’s gonna fall short as a movie. Yeah, I agree. And that’s like something like 21 and over like, I can’t remember Frank that stands out there. It’s probably there but like, and they don’t really have a party. They’re kind of doing bar hopping things. You don’t see any extracurriculars, you don’t really get a glimpse of the classrooms. So it’s just like, let’s take this guy out on his 21st birthday. And get so yeah. which is which is great. It’s a great, you know, idea for a movie. It’s just doesn’t hit the the quintessential parts of a college movie. So it doesn’t rank up on the top of the pantheon of college movies, but it’s got a good roommate.

Nick 32:33
Damn right.

Kalvin 32:35
Anything else on Columbo?

Nick 32:37
I really don’t think so. I think that’s pretty self explanatory. You fucking get some.

Kalvin 32:43
Yep. Well, at first I’m going through and I’m like, I’m like oh, Van Wilder puts I’m like, wait, now that wasn’t van Wilder. Fucking Tara Reid.

Nick 32:50
Yeah, that was like her most epic moment in movie history ever.

Kalvin 32:54
For what did she What did he do to her to deserve the Columbo Being a fucking ass white boy Yeah, that’s it. No fucking everybody over. Alright, so the final category data data. Best random class.

Nick 33:12
Ooh yeah, this one was kind of hard to find honestly to like find one that I thought was the best actually write what’s there. I mean, I chose the rise and fall of Chevy Chase from accepted.

Kalvin 33:24
Nice. I also chose accepted but a different class. So Chevy Chase first.

Nick 33:28
They had a lot of different classes. Yes, I mean, I don’t really know what they obviously studied the rise and fall of Chevy Chase, but that would be a fucking hilarious class. It would definitely be fun. I don’t know how much would it be worth it but yeah, it was like 50 bucks maybe 100 which

Kalvin 33:45
that well it’s all included with your tuition you know just some elective Yeah, I would still do that as well and then and and now you could take you add things to it like he was in community he was. That’s pretty much it. Yeah. Which is it to me Recently, yeah, it’s on Netflix now I haven’t I never finished. I think I finished season five. But I never did season six that was like only available on the Yahoo streaming service. But yeah, I gave up halfway through season four, which is like their last season when Dan Harmon wasn’t involved. And I came back to it and finished season four and I think I did all five but that was when everybody was leaving. And it wasn’t really the same either.

Nick 34:29
Yeah, some

Kalvin 34:30
gasoline season. That’s what they call season for the gas leak season.

Nick 34:35
It sounds about right. The first season was just like, really? Okay. I’m in the second season now and it’s pretty cool so far.

Kalvin 34:41
Yeah. Okay, so rise and fall Chevy Chase. Yeah, that’s my mind was common sense. From accepted,

Nick 34:51
common sense from accepted.

Kalvin 34:52
And like you said, this is the perfect movie to choose from. And really, I would say it’s the only option. Like it’s the only movie that should be out. For best random class,

Nick 35:01
yeah, right? They had a shit ton of random classes.

Kalvin 35:04
Exactly they because they take the idea of college and turn it on its head, turn it on its head, because they none of these people can get into a real school. And this is where I want to take my sidebar for a second, heavy movies and TV shows always make it seem like getting into college is the hardest thing in the world. Right? And then if you don’t get into one specific college, there’s just nothing else you can do. And I don’t get it. It’s like one of the most disconnected things between movies and the real world in my mind.

Nick 35:36
Oh, I agree. 100% because we just got the cash most of the time you can get into school.

Kalvin 35:42
Well, and but you don’t even need yet like Community College. There’s state schools, there’s like colleges with associate’s degrees. There’s all kinds of things out there. There’s vocational schools. We were just, we were watching Friday lights, the TV show and pretty much every main character that was in high school had the same crisis before they graduated that They might not get into the college that they had their eye on. And for like the kids playing football, that makes sense, because you know if they get injured, or just perform poorly in front of scouts, like they miss their shot at going to a big school and getting a scholarship. But all the adults around them are always just like, you can’t go to any college now. You didn’t get into Texas, you can’t go. And it even goes like to the other people that aren’t football players. Like there’s one of the girls who wants to go to University of Texas, but she has shitty grades for most of her high school career. And then in her senior year, she like, turns it on and tries to get into a good school, right? But no one ever suggests like, well, technical schools are a thing. And community colleges are a thing you know, you could do like two years at one of those and then go to Texas with transfer credits. No, that’s never an option. It’s just like, I’ve got to get my GPA up to 3.4 I can’t get into Texas, like there’s a million other fucking schools in Texas that you can go to literally In state tuition, yeah,

Nick 37:02
really cheap, you know, yeah, we work around there too.

Kalvin 37:05
You’re not getting a scholarship anyways, like, I just don’t get what screenwriters think that colleges have. It’s like this one shot and that’s accepted does the same thing like this kid gets into no schools in Ohio? I can’t believe that is a thing.

Nick 37:24
Right? It’s just like it was fucking school did you try for every really hard school to get into and then

Kalvin 37:29
and then just like not try for whatever the the shitty state school is? Right? Like there’s always a shitty state school.

Nick 37:37
There I mean, yeah, literally. And they’re usually cheaper.

Kalvin 37:39
They’re cheaper and they’re very easy to get into. That’s why I’m talking there’s almost no prerequisites. So anyways, accepted is an awesome movie, and it offers an array of made up classes, and I honestly think more colleges should try to do things like that. Oh, dude, I agree. Like when I say that college within the next 20 years is going to kind of get flipped on its head. What it is, I think There should be more stuff like this in college of things that will actually help you in life outside of what you’re studying to be your career, you know, I mean, I think that’s the way they need to go for something like common sense. Because it’s okay to learn things that aren’t strictly academic, it’s okay to make the active learning fun. And the South Arman Institute of Technology understands that and provides this resource for its students. Yeah, 100%. Again, to me the best of these classes, which you can find a full class listing on shits website, which still exist. That’s www dot South Harmon Institute of technology.org. Yeah, there there’s a lot of on that site still, actually, I was surprised. Also, the best ones common sense because right now a lot of fucking people would benefit from this class. You know, a lot of people need some common sense. And honestly, it shouldn’t even be offered in college. This should be a prerequisite for graduating high school. It’s an amazing how many people you meet that Can’t think their way through the simplest of problems.

Nick 39:03
I mean, Fuck Yeah, dude. And they just strike. A lot of times we’re in like positions of power and stuff. Yes, ridiculous.

Kalvin 39:10
And then they’re just like these people who yell at somebody because they know that by yelling, they’ll end up getting what they want, or at least somebody will tell them what they want to hear. Right. And then they and then they can move on rather than actually, like critically thinking through whatever the issue is. Even if it’s a small issue. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve dealt with several of them at your last job.

Nick 39:32
Yeah, more than I’d like to admit.

Kalvin 39:37
That’s it. Those are our categories. That’s it. We gave out all the awards we have that let’s run down again. Best extracurricular activity, best party, best roommates. Best prank in the best random class. Right? We have a lot of crossovers this time we don’t crossover.

Nick 39:54
Well. I mean, yeah, definitely

Kalvin 39:56
a lot more usually have 05 though. So right, it’s 40% increase.

Nick 40:00
I mean, there’s like we said, there’s very few really good college movies. And I think those are what stood out to us.

Kalvin 40:06
Yeah. And not only are there very few good college movies, the ones that we pick all stand out in one way or another. And it’s hard to get the, they’re formulaic, and it’s hard to get the formula perfect. Which I think the ones that we picked are close to that accepted as another great college movie that has a little bit of all of this stuff. Yeah, I need to rewatch that again here. So that’s Justin Long singing the remotes.

Nick 40:32
Yeah, it’s been so long since I’ve seen just along anything either.

Kalvin 40:36
I just watched I watch him in. Oh, I watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno the other day again, because it’s not good. But I watched it in college when it first came out. And I remember not really liking it, but I also remembered like, we watched it when there were a bunch of people at our house like drinking and just doing nonsense. So like I didn’t, like I know I wasn’t paying any attention to it. So I’ll give it another try. See if it’s funny. It’s on Netflix. Just along was in that as a male porno actor, and like somebody’s boyfriend. That was at their high school reunion. Poor guy. very random roll. Oh, he’s good. I wish he was in more stuff. He had a run there from like, probably about oh six when this came out to like 2013 where he was in a lot of shit.

Nick 41:25
Yeah, he really was.

Kalvin 41:28
And I enjoyed it. Fuck yeah, I mean, I made Justin Long fame.

Nick 41:32
Waiting was really good to

Kalvin 41:33
waiting. Good. Yep. Yep, yep. Yeah, we, Bartleby. Alright, so do we miss any categories?

Nick 41:43
There’s a couple I had that. Oh, what do you got? Yeah,

Kalvin 41:46
I got because I didn’t think we missed anything.

Nick 41:48
There was there was a couple little things that I was thinking about after the fact. Um, one is biggest creep because there’s always a fucking

Kalvin 41:55
Oh, that’s a good one. That goes to the dude in row. trip. Yes. The guy that’s like really creepy on Amy smarts character.

Nick 42:06
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there’s there’s always the pretty girl and then there’s always the fucking creep. Right? There’s always best support system was another one I think we missed

Kalvin 42:17
something that goes with roommates doesn’t it

Nick 42:18
that partially some you know a good roommate doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good supportive system. That’s true. That’s true.

Kalvin 42:27
Like Frank The tank is not a great support system. And that Yeah,

Nick 42:31
true. And then there’s best professor. Oh, that is a good one. Which I think that’d be tight. And then best school identity. Like what is like, I don’t know, South Harmon Institute of Technology. They’re known for their free thought or whatever, right? Yeah, yeah. Those were the couple that I came up with off the top of my head while I was working out and sweat my ass off.

Kalvin 42:53
So if you have any nominations for any of them,

Nick 42:56
honestly, I didn’t go that far. It’s just like, you know, that’d be fun to talk about.

Kalvin 43:02
So professor, I think would be fun. And you know a lot a lot of people will go straight to the Animal House guy because he sits there and like smokes weed with everyone. Yeah, I’m not a fan of Astra now. Hmm, that’s a tough one. Because like, I don’t have any professors that stand out in my mind right now.

Nick 43:21
No, I don’t either. I’m sure if I did a little research check

Kalvin 43:23
it. Yeah, that that would take some like googling. I’m sure there’s a listicle out there of, you know, best professors and movies.

Nick 43:29
Yeah, they’re, I mean, there’s a list of everything.

Kalvin 43:31
Exactly. And then what was that last one best school identity?

Unknown 43:35
Yeah.

Nick 43:36
That’d be kind of tough to do, because not all of them focus on it.

Kalvin 43:39
Right, you know, you don’t get enough of the school life around them. So anyway, like, I didn’t think we had anything more I like best professor and I like best school identity. But I think like the five things that we focused on are what are most important to making and college moves like those are the five things you have to hit in some way and if you hit them, then you’re on your way to a good college movement. I don’t know that a professor is necessary to make a good college movie. I agree there has to be one somewhere but it doesn’t have to be a great one in any way. Yeah, and oftentimes they’re a foil to the main character anyways

Nick 44:12
right I agree most of the time they are so yeah that’s a good point.

Kalvin 44:17
But they’re also like there are some that you know they’re they’re probably right like the the the dean or whatever in Van Wilder he’s probably right like van Wilder is an asshole.

Nick 44:27
I mean, you’ve been there for fucking ever. It’s like dude already.

Kalvin 44:31
So that does take us to the final question of the night. What movie college would you most want to attend?

Nick 44:37
I kind of dropped this earlier. But I would most only domain nobody else has heard of it. Yeah, that’s true. Well, and the people in our Twitter group but the South African Institute of Technology from accepted shit, I think they’re awesome. It’s an awesome school. Should sandwiches Yeah, I mean, there’s a imagine their mascot. Amazing.

Kalvin 44:58
I really liked Jonah Hill in this movie. To where he’s doing where he’s dressing up as the hot dog and everything like that asked me about my young Jonah Hill was great.

Nick 45:08
He was but he was just he dropped like 30 pounds and he almost became a new person as

Kalvin 45:13
well. Yeah, he’s still pretty great. He’s just great in a different way now. Like there’s nothing that lives up to like accepted and like he’s got a small part in 40 year old virgin where he’s trying to buy like those weird shoes with the goldfish in them from the sell your shit on eBay store that the lady works that Superbad as a classic.

Nick 45:35
fucking love Superman. Yeah. I mean, it’s high school still.

Kalvin 45:38
Yeah, that doesn’t. That doesn’t qualify here. We’ll do High School movie someday. Yeah. Yeah. So I was tempted to pick shit. Because it’s a good school. It was my runner up because like, they allow you to have a sale. Your course load is like you said a lot of free thought going on. But it would be really hard to get a job with a ship diploma.

Nick 46:04
Yeah, and saw those initials and be like, Oh,

Kalvin 46:08
you can’t really put that seal on the top of your resume, you know? Yeah. And there’s a lot of debate over their actual accreditation. Like is your diploma actually works or something if you graduate from?

Nick 46:18
Well, I mean, I asked the same question about like Phoenix University, but apparently it’s worse something.

Kalvin 46:25
That’s true. That’s very true. I went with Coolidge college from van Wilder again, Ben Wilder isn’t my favorite college movie for no reason. Coolidge has they’ve got NBA talent on their basketball team as long as they can get their heads out of at their asses enough to play like it. You know, having a deaf coach really hinders your basketball skills. I think it’s a big problem there. Yeah, that’s there. There’s always something going on around campus which again, in college movie I like to see that a lot of things to get involved in and ways to make new friends. A lot of college movies they focus like too intently on one aspect College. So sure Pitch Perfect Barden University has some great acapella groups, but what else is going on around campus? Same thing with Revenge of the Nerds. frat life is very entertaining. But what are the actual classes? Like? Are any of these people actually learning anything? I don’t know. Is it a good college? Or is it just part of school? Right? Coolidge feels like the most fully realized college. And this movie uses van to kind of show us all the different aspects of what makes spending seven years in college so great, like why you would want to, it’s not all toga parties and hot girls. classes and professors are important. Student jobs are important. Clubs and fundraisers are important. frats are stupid. Sports aren’t important or stupid, all about being part of something that’s bigger than yourself. And that’s kind of what you were hinting at with the like, what’s the college’s identity in a college movie? Because that’s an important part of who the characters are like, why are they at that college? What does the college represent for them?

Nick 47:56
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that’s that Kind of makes it even more for me at least.

Kalvin 48:02
Exactly. I will leave like this is probably my final thought of the episode. Whatever you do, do not watch the sequel of Van Wilder that focuses solely on Tosh at some random ass British school or the even worse prequel about vans freshman year starring Ryan Reynolds

Nick 48:19
starring Ryan Reynolds it kind of like how they changed up stickler after a while or like started focusing on they use his brothers

Kalvin 48:25
and shit. It’s kind of like that, but some of those American Pie movies like I’ve watched, probably like the first three I watched, they had their moments still, like they got the gist of what an American Pie movie was supposed to be in try to capture that. This is just like, we’re gonna try and have someone not who’s not Ryan Reynolds be Ryan Reynolds and that doesn’t work like Ryan Reynolds is very unique. And he’s one of the only people that can pull off the like, witty, sarcastic jackass at level jackass.

Nick 48:57
You know, I agree 100% in the way he does things He’s Deadpool. He’s very unique.

Kalvin 49:02
Justin Wong can actually do it pretty well.

Nick 49:04
Yeah, he Well, he’s pretty unique too. Yeah.

Kalvin 49:07
It’s it’s a little bit different way the way Justin Long does it, but like that the two of them next to each other and waiting is fantasy so good.

Nick 49:14
Yeah, cuz Ryan Reynolds is way more like ballsy is just along. It’s kind of more so.

Kalvin 49:19
Right. But yeah, Justin Long’s is always like kind of making the comments that Ryan Reynolds will make out loud, just alongs making them under his breath as the person turns around and walks away.

Nick 49:29
Right? Or just, you know, thinking of it as, like, dammit. I should have said that later. I should have said that before.

Kalvin 49:35
So don’t watch any of the follow ups to van Wilder but watch van Wilder 100 times. I don’t know about 100 times, maybe two. And while they’re so good, it’s pretty good. It holds up decently. decently. Yeah, there’s some rough stuff but not not nearly as bad as, like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds.

Nick 49:54
Yeah, I agree. Well, I mean, I just I’d imagine just judging by the shit you’ve told me about those things. I’d say yeah, yeah, try and watch.

Kalvin 50:04
Ad don’t try and watch like it. You could watch Revenge of the Nerds and you’d probably have some good chuckles. Animal House. I think there might be like two things you laugh out throughout the whole movie. But definitely watch the musical competition in

Unknown 50:17
Revenge of the Nerds already and the riff off on YouTube. Got them both.

Kalvin 50:22
All right, you got anything else for college movies?

Nick 50:24
I do not. I think that’s it.

Kalvin 50:26
Okay. That’s all I’ve got. Come back next week for the fictional football draft. We will be going through team by team, we’re going through the order of the NFL Draft, team by team and drafting fictional players to fit the team’s actual needs for the 2020 season.

Nick 50:45
God, I can’t wait. It’s gonna be so fun.

Kalvin 50:47
Yeah, a lot of fun. A lot of effort went into this. We probably missed some players because there’s a lot of fuckin fictional football players out there. But I’m okay with that.

Nick 50:55
Yeah, me too. We try to stick to MIT. Hopefully people will know some of these players at least

Kalvin 51:00
There’s probably some that they don’t there were some that I didn’t but I had to pick them because I needed to fill a position you know true,

Unknown 51:05
but it’ll be fun.

Kalvin 51:06
So listen to that. Our Patreon still out there patreon.com slash podcast about something we’ve got our T public store where you can always buy cool merchandise. That’s t public slash a.com t public.com slash APA something and give us a review on iTunes or pod chaser. That’s another one where reviews are welcome or cashbox, I’ve got reviews there to

Nick 51:29
any in all places where Yeah,

Kalvin 51:30
anywhere you can leave a review that you just listen to this, leave a fucking review. We’d appreciate it. It helps us Thank you. Thank you to those cats for providing all the music to a podcast about something you can follow us on Twitter at APA something and at alone underscore podcast. And and also thank you to those guests.

Unknown 51:49
Stay classy

This transcript was generated by https://otter.ai

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