Who doesn’t love high stakes, heart-pumping action, killer plans, suave teams, and possibly a gun fight or two? Well Kalvin and Nick sure do as we dive into our monthly award show with this week’s episode all about Heist Movie Superlatives! Whichever your flavor of heist movie we are sure to touch on it from the dark and gritty to the lighter hearted, as we pass out some awards for best plans, villain, team, score and more. Some of the best to ever do it have lent their faces and skill to the heist cause over the years, and that often shines through when you sit down to watch.
See full episode transcript below
Hello and welcome to podcast about something where each week we dive deep into whatever it is we find interesting. I’m your host, Calvin, and joining me from inside a bank vault. Your co host, Nick Richardson. getaway driver didn’t come pick you up.
No, he didn’t work the goddamn Van talbin
he’s supposed to be there. 10 minutes ago. You got to get out of there, man. The cops are coming.
I mean, the paint paint bomb already exploded. I’m fucking blue. I look like
yeah, we’re just gonna. We’re just gonna leave you behind now. I’m gonna rat you out. You fuck. It’s happening. Sorry. Well, if you didn’t know. You didn’t know. We’re talking. We’re in the middle of a bank heist. Because we’re talking heist movies. today. We’re giving out our patented movie superlatives to the best of the best heist movies. One of my favorite genres.
Yeah, who doesn’t love a good one? movie. I sure as hell do. Well, let me rephrase. I feel like Americans really like a good nice movie.
Do not other countries not?
I don’t know. I haven’t really heard of very many popular heist movies from other countries.
I am American. He was made by an American dude.
It might have been but all the actors were British, so I gotta I gotta feel like it wasn’t. Brad Pitt is not it’s Brad Pitt was in it. But yeah, everybody else was me. Was he doing like a bad British accent though? Never saw
us doing a bad Irish accent. I was good at it, though. I mean, he like
who’s good at his bad accent? Well, I
mean, you know how people from like the super rural parts of Alabama have that twang to it. Yeah. Same thing applies to Irish people.
Oh, he’s doing like a thing. He was doing a very good job at like a thick,
like right over the top. Irish accent Gypsy accent. Yeah, very good is there.
I’m picking What you’re putting out anyway that’s not what we’re talking about well we might talk about snatch more I I’ve never seen it so I won’t. But we are giving out movie superlatives. That is where we give our monthly awards to a different type of movie. We do it once a month this month it’s heist movies. We give one award per movie one movie per award. No repeat sees
no repeat sees no text back sees no take a definitely
no take backs ease. Yeah. Today we’re giving out the best hice team the Best Villain or reason for the job. I feel like those kind of going hand in hand. The best plan the best getaway and the best score and that’s not a musical score. It’s what did they actually heist? What the fuck did they pick up?
Yeah, we’re talking.
Exactly. So let’s get right to it. And go with your pick for the best team. Like we’re gonna have the same answer.
I don’t think so, man. Best team. I got squad from the town in 20 not have that all right, I figured you would not have the town. And there are wicked fucking awesome team. I can’t do a Boston accent I shouldn’t even.
Yeah. Not even close. I could say like really? Oh, and the department
will I can say really shitty bad words with a bad Boston accent because of the departed. But otherwise I can’t say anything else but like the F word and shit like that. But yet, dude, that team is balling. I assume you’ve seen the town. I have. I saw once when it came out.
I wasn’t a huge fan. I need to revisit it because like, I’ve come a long way in my movie viewing since 2010. And like how I take things in. So it’s definitely one that’s that’s on the list to give another try.
It’s It’s a fantastic movie. In fact, Ben Affleck. I’m pretty sure he wrote and directed it kind of adds to the fun of it because it is super intense. It’s really You know, it’s shot really well. It’s relatively realistic. It’s got a great cast. And yeah,
so who’s on the team? We have say that if you’re picking them for the best,
I’m not going to go with names because two of them don’t even matter. But you basically got Ben Affleck. Who is this motherfucker named Doug McCray kind of comes from, you know, one of the he comes from a working class background. You know, a lot of people think he’s a piece of shit. But secretly, he’s a bank robber. And then you got his best buddy Jeremy Renner as Jimmy coffin. And he is been in and out of prison, and he’s kind of erratic and crazy. He’s his right hand, man, but he he’s got some problems. And then yeah, he’s got a sister played by Brett Blake Lively, who’s fantastic in this fucking movie. And two other nameless Basically and there’s a driver Jon Hamm’s in there, right. Yeah. He’s the FBI
guy. Oh, yeah. he’s a
he’s a guy trying to get him I want to say, you know, the FBI, but they got the drivers support guy. I want to say Jeremy Renner is the muscle and Ben Affleck’s the brains. And he’s some really good brains. So I mean,
they all come together really well.
I feel like he made himself the brains in the town because like, nobody thought he actually had brains. Because if you’ve seen any of his movies previous to the town, like he’s not ever playing the smart guy in them. No, no, cuz, like, I feel like Ben Affleck out of, you know, as much as famous actors can be. He’s not the smartest one out there. So he like had to write himself in that way.
I think he’s a smart guy. I just I don’t think he’s ever been able to visit him. So
yeah, I think so.
He’s very successful, and he’s been in a bunch of shit ass movies so successful. But have they done this many shit as movies as Ben Affleck, not one, but two more stinkers are Marvel and DC superheroes, stinkers.
Yeah, but I mean, you can’t you can’t put anything that happened in Justice League or Batman v Superman on him because he was the best part of those movies,
and was still dark shit.
It was but it wasn’t his fault. But that’s a good team. Great team. I got one better though. Hey, it’s the quintessential team Ocean’s 11. You know, I mean, debatable. It’s, obviously it’s a huge team. And you know, it’s one of the biggest teams in heist movie history, but that’s kind of what makes it great. In other heist movies, people kind of have to share responsibilities. You’re the driver and the brains. You’re the trigger man, and the lookout, not in Ocean’s 11. Man, Danny ocean, he’s too smart for that. He knows he’s going to need exactly one person to do each job no more, no less. So he gets everybody in. Let’s just run down the team people, but it’s not because it works and then it works again. And then worse again, and then they try. They try and have less people in Ocean’s eight. And yeah, they got away with it. But that movie was garbage. So did it really work? No. We just trying to say Calvin, we try to say, bro. I’m trying to say Ocean’s eight is a garbage movie.
Unknown Speaker 7:16
Test test test.
Have you seen it? I have not. There’s a bunch of chicks in it, man. So I know.
Yeah. And they’re all really great actors and it should have been good, but they were all just doing their best impressions of their Ocean’s 11 counterpart rather than just like being themselves and doing what they’re good at. They like Sandra Bullock spent the whole time trying to be George Clooney, and Cate Blanchett. Trying to be too much like Brad Pitt is like, it’s not working, like do your own thing. You’re all good at things. riana might have been the best part of it. That’s saying because she was just out there being real. And you could tell
that Santa fucking
dude, she said
for Ocean’s 11. You’ve got George Clooney, as the Essential Danny ocean, Bernie Mac Brad Pitt. I’m just going down IMDb. So these might seem a little out of order. I don’t know why they’re in the order they’re in. But Bernie Mac Brad Pitt, Elliott Gould. Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Matt Damon. Don Cheadle is in there.
Who am I missing?
Unknown Speaker 8:23
Casey Affleck degrease man, I said Casey Affleck, grease man. I don’t remember what his name was. Grease man. Little asian guy.
Unknown Speaker 8:37
wyness call runners in there Saul. Oh shabo Quinn as yen the amazing yet
nice. He was amazing. I mean,
I don’t know anything about this actor but like that character. They needed him on the team. Nobody else could have done the things they would have and then they’ve got a pretty good villain and Andy Garcia to which is you know, a nice Team is only as good as their villain or whoever they’re stealing from. debatable.
Unknown Speaker 9:05
that’s very that’s a big factor.
You don’t think john him ups the ability for the town’s hice team to be better versions of themselves?
I mean, absolutely, he’s a natural foil, but still.
So we talk, you know, best team, there’s something that goes around along with that. It’s you got to get the team together at some point. So I propose the subcategory here of the best actual getting the team together. So usually it’s a montage. Yeah, I went with Ocean’s 11. Still, because like, you get to see Danny, recruiting everyone. And as he’s recruiting everyone, you see what role they play and why they’re the best at it why he’s so specifically looking for this person. And Ocean’s 11 does a great job of like finding the team members and presenting their strengths and their flaws all at once and why these things are going to be important when it comes to the eventual score. Like, you see why Casey Affleck and Scott Caan are great to have on your team, but you also see them bickering the whole time. You see how great of a pickpocket pickpocket Matt Damon is. But you also see like that he can get distracted. And Danny ocean catches them really easily because he gets distracted. So you get to see all of that. As they’re picking up the team.
Yeah, and it’s a pretty sweet montage and it kind of, you know, these people would be basically, they wouldn’t be nearly as useful or efficient, unless they all work together in unison and I think being able to bring them all together is pretty dope and Danny oceans regard.
Yeah, you need all of them. You gotta have no no debatable
debatable which which person do not need that. I just need 10 of the others.
10 of the others. They only need Danny ocean. That’s too many fucking people do too many people know about that shit. Someone’s gonna blab.
No. I don’t wanna lose. their money while they blab because people are knowing every us
people are dead. Calvin,
I feel like the brother Casey Affleck and Scott Caan like one on one get pinched on something and like immediately give up the other one and then it would just be a house of cards and they’d all fall really
fast. You know, there you go. Matt Damon’s character might not like Asian people who knows like there’s their shit. You can’t see common but I mean true. The old get together seen personally from for my pic in the town. I chose a their little montage before the final robbery of Fenway when they’re kind of they’re getting together and it’s it’s very solemn and shit like that. And it’s a you know, something intense is coming and they’re loading all their guns and they’re kind of prepping everything and then they enact this gigantic plan. I think it’s perfect like that, that kind of moment before the storm breaks. Yeah. All right.
I’ll give you that. Let’s move on to category number two, the best villains reason for the job. And villains are really tough in heist movies, because they’re usually like actual real world good guys. They’re usually like the FBI or detective of some sort. You don’t always want to see like, if it’s Terry Benedick fine, like steal from this rich asshole. So you don’t always want to see the villains lose as much as you just want to see the heist or get away with it and leave the detective or the FBI agent, you know, whoever’s after him, just leave them kind of unharmed, and feeling a little stupid. Well, I mean, and then on the other hand,
most of those people don’t have relatable,
you know that right? Exactly. I’m conducting the heist.
Yeah. And well, and they’re, they’re the protagonist of the movie like we’re supposed to be focusing on them. And then the other the other side of it is villains are just like dickish rich people like your Terry Benedict’s or you know the the guy in Logan lucky who. He owns the motor speedway or whatever and he shits all over Adam drivers one armed bartender Like, come on now. We don’t need that. There’s like that. Yeah, well, yeah, but they’re not they don’t make great villains. They’re just kind of rich dickheads so that’s why I added the like reason for the job because usually the rich dickhead provides the reason for the job right? in some way. That’s true. So for my pic, this is more leaning towards the reason for the job, its inception. But it also it also has some cool villain layers. It’s got layers of villains like it’s got layers of dreams. And that’s what makes this movie so great. You know, you could say that the villain is Killian Murphy who they’re trying to steal the information from you can say it’s the generic rich guy who hired them or it’s, I mean, yes, it’s called himself or it’s Mel in limbo. You know. It’s all great if you want to focus on one of those people as the main villain. But again, I picked this morning because the reason for the job and college just wants to be able to look his kids in the face again. And to me, there’s no better reason than that to Anything
Oh fuck yeah, man who’s between me and my daughter? I would do fucking anything. I don’t care.
And there’s no there’s still a lot of debate out there on whether at the end spoilers for Inception if it’s real or not, but none of that actually matters because I think Christopher Nolan even kind of like hinted at this, that it doesn’t matter if the top falls or not because Cobb thinks he’s back home. And that’s the thing that’s important. He doesn’t care anymore about his Totem. He can see he can look in his kid’s face, whether it’s real or not, it’s real to him now.
That’s all that matters.
And so he wanted his kids back, but he also went into this job, you know, cuz it’s always there’s always one last job right? Every heist movie, you gotta do one last job unless it’s fast and furious. Then there’s, you know, infinity last jobs. There’s a few ways in which we
can’t written you know, the basic script for
Yeah, we’ve got it. We’ve got close up. Universal,
hit us up.
So he goes into this job training his replacement and Ellen Page, you know, he needed her to succeed. In this job, and to like be able to keep him focused and out of limbo, so that the rest of the team knew that they’re in good hands moving forward after this, because like he knew either way, this was his last job, but the rest of the team like they could still be in it. So he needed to make sure that What’s her name? Ariadne was trained properly and ready to go. And you know, he did a good job of that. So he’s going into this job with training in mind and to get his kids back. Those are two great reasons
that I mean, I completely agree. Hundred percent. But
you’re going to disagree, aren’t you?
Yeah, that’s not my choice.
No, that’s not fun when we agree.
No, it moves quickly, though, which isn’t necessarily fun. But that’s villain villain. Reason for the job. I chose. Edward Norton Steve from The Italian Job. fuck that guy from deal 2003 his stupid little mustache. He’s a piece of shit.
I don’t know. I saw that. I don’t remember it very well. It’s been
So long since I’ve seen it but he’s a good villain because he he was part of the team and they pull off a giant score of like 35 million bucks and then he kills the like matriarch of their team fat so it’s like if someone killed Vin Diesel and shares Yeah, we can’t do that game on and then they all get either killed or busted. And he gets away with all the fucking money and then the reason for the Italian job is to basically fucking get Steve back. So they end up stealing all the money and you know, getting Steve back which I think that’s pretty dope they killed your like father avenge you went to prison or did some time and some sort of way you’re broke his fuck he’s super rich. You know, fuck that. That’s that’s bogus. Yeah.
Yeah. And then, you know,
after they pulled up the heissen did all the work like they he couldn’t have done it by himself. And then Then he does that shit. And his name is Steve like the most basic name ever. This movie’s full of them though. I gotta say his name Steve. He killed some guy named john. Like, you know?
Yeah. I feel like that a Heisman. We got to have better names in reggae
or you know, heavier or something.
I don’t know, but I don’t know that go that far. But like, you gotta mix it up. Even even in Ocean’s 11. You got Danny, you got Linus. You got rusty. You got a frank in there, but you got Saul a Reuben. A lot of good night yen.
Yeah, those are all fucking it’s like someone just looked around their house. There’s other like, yeah, that rusty. boxspring rusty. Oh,
well, it’s also like a guy named Steve is not going to grow up to be involved in heists. He’s got too much going for him. Steve can get a job doing sales at any place he wants to. But Linus. He’s got to make his money. pickpocketing like, nobody’s gonna hire Linus. I expect to be there. Carolina’s
gonna get an email from a guy named Linus be like Fuck you guys I call intere I work I’m a pastor you assholes.
Shout out Linus shadow lightest. If you pulled out any highest, please let us know we will.
Yeah, secret pinky promise.
So let’s move. I’m trying to move. I ordered these in a way that were kind of like moving through the heist. So first you get your team together, then you come up against your villain, right? So now comes the big part. You know who your villain is? You got to come up with a plan. What’s the best plan in a heist movie?
The best plan and a heist movie. And it’s honestly, what sucks about it is it wasn’t that big of a payoff. It’s relatively minimal in the greater scheme of things. But this is from 1995 heat. And that’s an armored truck never seen. Dude, go to YouTube find it will post it on there. It’s a five minute and two second clip And it is
no need to see he I’ve watched casino first which was a bad plan like casinos not good.
Its casinos good. It’s just very slow,
long and boring and not very good.
It’s a better Irishman.
It’s in a well made movie that does not mean it’s a good movie.
Well, those actors were in their prime.
That’s like I watched Ford versus Ferrari earlier today, like that’s a well made movie, but it’s not a good movie. That’s a fair it’s just it’s it’s a long boring movie that like 50 year old dad’s watch.
I’ve seen casino like three or four times I’ve seen he probably 10 times.
I know he does good and like it’s on my list. I just had never actually watched it.
Well he’s good for multiple reasons but the the plan is really what let’s hear about this plan.
So it’s a group of go ahead and spoil it. I don’t really care it’s
spoilers in five years old. Yeah, yeah, I mean, five minute and two second clip on YouTube, just search heat armored truck scene. So their their goal is to art to rob an armored truck, a bear box and it’s you know, group Five or six guys I want to say might be four. But they’ve they’ve scouted out everything. They know the route the trucks taking they they’re communicating via walkie talkie. They’re wearing bulletproof vests and they’re just very well prepared for any eventuality. They have a demolitions expert who, you know, has the right amount of the right charge to disorient the officers onboard, disarm the door and be able to get inside still without it being a complete wreck and destroying what you’re trying to steal in the first place. And it goes great. They barely say a word. Everything’s timed. You know, no one’s really hurt. And then one guy kind of loses his shit and ends up killing a cop. And they got to kill all three cops and one guy always fix it up.
Always fix it up. That should have been one of our Ward best guy that fucked up the plan
Oh, seriously, because there’s one in every group, but even then they kind of had contingencies in place. They got They needed they bounced out in a you know, ambulance, an ambulance, ambulance, an ambulance, but they they had, you know, a second vehicle waiting, they burned out the ambulance, they had a strip laid down for the cops to run over, you know, which just caused a pile of basically. So they were prepared for any eventuality even though they were completely off script. And yeah, they still
got their score and got away great team leaders, which that could have been a category two best team leaders, but I feel like that goes the best team doesn’t matter. The great team leaders, they’ve always got a contingency for their contingency for their contingency. Yeah, and they’re Batman esque. Exactly. And I feel like after you describing that scene, basically every not every high school but a lot of heist movies have ripped off that let’s Rob an armored truck sequence. You know, there’s a lot that I think take Did it baby driver did it like there’s a bunch out there that are more recent that are like, let’s let’s just brought an armored truck because that’s fucking easy.
I mean, most people employed by takers.
I mean, I don’t think
Yeah, look, I haven’t seen that in forever, but most of them are good drivers. They’re never very good are kind of overweight. And, you know, I met a lot of armored truck drivers when I worked at Macy’s. Once we can pull off one of these jobs, I just most of the drivers I saw would have to dust off their fingers of Cheeto and Dorito dust before they could get you know, nice firm grip on a trigger. But this is something where they just have it all planned out, like the contingency factor is really what does it for me and the complexity of their you know, it’s still a hard thing to do to rob an armored vehicle, otherwise people would knock off armored vehicles all the fucking time. But Exactly. And the I just the professionalism is what came The mind for me and I think when you have a good plan, it enables you to enact that plan, you know, with confidence and that’s, you know, they barely said a fucking word the whole time, which I thought was super cool.
I just looked up takers. Because we were talking about or like we mentioned that we’re talking about, listen, this cast for a second. Chris Brown. Hayden Christensen Matt Dillon, Michael ealy. Idris Elba. Steve Harris. I don’t know who that is ti Jay Hernandez. Paul Walker.
Jesus Christ. It’s a bunch of shitty beatless actors.
Those guys are be listening interest Elba he’s he’s good. I don’t know if he’s good in this movie. I don’t remember it. But I feel like he was mailing in that performance. A ti was like going all for it and that one. Every three
years your recipes from last week.
He went after this movie like he went after a little flip
or a little Yeah, little flick. My dear, so
I might have to rewatch takers. I think I remember like the heist was really good in that. But the movie around it was not. And like I just named those actors. You could see why.
I’ll leave that up to you. You can tell me
all about it.
Yeah, I’ll watch it again, let everyone know, takers did not win any awards. I completely forgot about it until we mentioned it three minutes ago.
I imagined it didn’t win any awards, especially from 2010. I mean, those guys were all either at the end of their career, like the downfall of their career or brown hadn’t
yet gotten caught beating riana so like he was still kind of tip his career. Ti was like trying to translate into being an actual actor because he had been an American Gangster already. Paul Walker was like, I guess they just done they just done fast and furious, the fourth one. So he was like kind of trying to get back on his game. Idris Elba he was on the come up like it was after The Wire was after his stint on the office, which I mean those are the only two things that matter right for yourself. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 25:09
The war Hey, Hayden Christensen was coming off Star Wars and you jumper
Yeah, like jumper I like
it’s a good idea and it’s again bad actors I really like Rachel Bilson but like Hayden Christensen is just bad and a little like Scottish guys. Not very good either. No, he’s creepy. Yeah. Anyway, so my best plan goes to someone that didn’t meet any contingencies because he plans so well. Inside Man. I’ve never seen Oh my god.
I gotta watch. I’ve heard it’s awesome. Well,
now I can’t go into my whole explanation because that’s gonna give away the whole movie. Give
it away. I mean, this was from 2000 606 I think. Yeah.
So Clive Owen has this thing planned down to a tee and he just nailed it. So First he holds up a bank with guns and accomplices and everything grabs some hostages, then he negotiates quote unquote negotiates with detectives. So they look into the history of the vault that he’s robbing which incriminates the owner who happened to be a Nazi sympathizer and profited off Nazis. It’s a big No, no. Yeah in the world in 2006
then it takes any year. Let’s just say that well, yeah.
I don’t know if it’s as big a no, no now like, this is a supernova, right that
it might not be. It should be big No, no.
So he takes his time as he’s negotiating and taking hostages and kind of playing the detectives. He takes this time to disguise his accomplices as regular people who would have been at the bank and then he eventually releases all the hostages and all of the all of his accomplices out the front door. There’s probably like 100 people that all run out at the same time. Because it’s New York City, big bank, they’ll run out At the same time, there’s like smoke grenades going off, everybody’s getting confused. The cops are taking everyone down, they can get their hands on trying to get people into custody so they can question them, right? So no one can tell who’s in on it and who wasn’t because, like, during the whole thing with the hostages, they have masks on enough but they still have some identifying features that would allow the people to kind of point to somebody but there’s always somebody that that was an actual patron that looks kind of like them anyway, so I keep thought about that in pic generic looking people to be as accomplices and to kind of match people who would just be out in their everyday lives. So you can’t, nobody could actually identify any of the accomplices versus any of the actual bank patrons. You know, none the accomplices, right? And the accomplices they’re playing their part to you know, they’re they’re saying they’re blaming other people who are just patrons because they know that they were accomplices, you know, they’re doing everything they can. So also during this time, they build a false wall inside the vault or Clive Owen hides out For a week until the clamber of bank robbery dies down, he’s in there he dig a hole in the ground so he can shit in. Like he’s just chillin in this bank vault behind a fake wall.
God damn them be so boring.
Oh yeah, like I think he brought a Gameboy or something
I was. I was literally thinking that would happen. I
really thought I think he had like a he had a handheld game system or some PSP or something. Yeah, please. So yeah, no one notices anything’s missing. Because the Nazi safe deposit box was not on record. It was actually there when the bank was Bill and kept off the record because of how he obtained these diamonds that were held in it. Right. Nazis. Right, exactly. So then a week later, Clive Owen walks out the front door completely unnoticed unscathed. having accomplished all of his goals in outing the Nazi profiteer making the detective look like an idiot and he’s got a boatload of diamonds
you know, would have been even better
If you would see the movie and you would see how good this plan actually worked, rather than me describing it well, and if he was
Jewish, that would be awesome, too. That’d be so i hope i like i think that’s part of
his raison d’etre. Like, that’s why he wants to be there. And he’s the one you know, pointing it out. Any also, you know, he gives a Denzel the detective a nice little ring on his way out or a nice little diamond on his way out to he like bumps into him. Denzel has no idea to him because he’s like wearing a hat and just got normal clothes on and they think this guy just got away a week ago and Nope, he was just sitting in there. chillin
taking shirts on the ground,
you know? Yeah, no one smells that.
I mean, you do it you do for buttload diamonds. Why does this money vault smell like dukey? I don’t know. I guess nobody went in there that week. I don’t know
that entire fucking week and it was like, man, it smells like shouldn’t here.
Let’s go. God dammit Samantha quit using the vault fartin
I used his office. fart in
and then I just kind of got comfortable in there
cancel all the credit card you should let the criminal you see
I had a runner up on this one too with Logan lucky they had a really good plan and Logan lucky and they they they got everything planned out with you know run the cockroaches through the tubes to find the right one, the escape from prison all of that they just really had to get supremely lucky no pun intended to actually pull it off. Inside Man was like too on point for anyone to contend with other than maybe one of the oceans because their plans are all like super intricate and they have everything contingencies on contingencies inside man just didn’t need a and the contingencies. And Logan lucky. You know that had a lot of luck involved. That was mostly that’s like 92% luck.
Yeah, going on record saying that but i think that’s a that’s a pretty good point. I’ve never seen it but I’ve heard anyone that’s ever mentioned it to me has been like, it’s fucking fantastic.
And like I just described it, but like the way I described it could not do any justice to what actually happens. Like you could still watch it knowing that he’s gonna hide in the wall and like be amazed by how it goes down.
Yeah, I’m gonna have to watch that as well. But I think honestly, we’re kind of on par In regards to best plans. I mean, they both succeeded in getting away where I think, you know, Clive Owens is definitely more it’s got more Granger and like a better payoff in the end. I think. The armored truck robbery involve more variables.
Unknown Speaker 31:41
And we’ll end with Clive Owen. Like, he’s sitting there talking shit to Denzel the whole time leading up to this because he knows how he’s gonna get out. And he’s just like, there’s nothing you can do. Stop me.
Yeah, go fuck yourself.
I’m not a big Clive Owen fan, but I liked him in this.
Yeah, I’ve never really liked him and much but
Unknown Speaker 31:58
I’ll have to hanging out.
All right, let’s move on to the best getaway. And this is gonna be my ISO spot. You just gotta let me spin here it is it’s Fast Five,
it, email the Fast Five. I knew you were gonna say you said Fast Five like 15 times before we got to this category, so I assumed you
hard not to give this to baby driver with the many getaway scenes but fast fives get away with the bankfull is just too epic to overlook. And I talked about a lot when we did the Fast and Furious movie superlatives back in August go check that out if you want to go like super deep into this. But there was no CGI involved with the vault. There was like literally a truck in there driving the vault behind DOM and Brian’s cars, which I’m guessing DOM and Brian were actually driving those cars either. Private and it’s just it’s, it’s got to be a top to your getaway when the cop chasing you just like gives up and decides to let you go.
Get That’s I mean, that’s super awesome.
It’s It’s one thing to be going up against like a rich dick like Terry Benedict and he’s like, Ah, you got me, but like to go with a cop who is the rock and for him to just be like,
Unknown Speaker 33:11
alright, alright fair.
Yeah, we should team up later but yes.
Okay calling the year and a half when Fast and Furious six comes out,
please because y’all are rich and I make 35 G’s a year. I don’t get paid for this shit.
But yeah, I don’t have a lot to say. And like I said we did it all on the Fast and Furious movie suppose if you want to hear me go on for like an hour and a half just on fast and furious. Listen to that. I can’t do it justice because I don’t have the research behind it right now. Like I’ve watched all those movies right then. I haven’t watched him since it’s out. It’s a good getaway. You got great chase scenes. You’ve got a bank vault flying through a bunch of shit. You got some good car stunts. You know you’ve got a good score at the end of it too. Yeah, right there. can
kind of at the height of their power than like that was when the Fast and Furious franchise was really hitting its stride and like gaining momentum. And
that was before they went too far. The other direction is like they’ve pulled heists in it all the subsequent movies, they pulled heist, but they’re not actually heist because they’re like working for the government and stuff. So they’re like, they’re stealing things that they own back from somebody who stole it from them. And it’s like this was like them still being on the the bad side of the law, per se. And just going all out because if they could make this score, then everything would be fine. Yeah, there now it’s just like, well, the rock called so we’ll go hang out and drive some cars.
Yeah, I mean, they’re, they were outlaws and then after that they became the feds.
Yep. Booty, but they’re always family. Always. Till
Yeah. Until Yeah.
Yeah, just saying Mmm
all right what was your best getaway? It’s Fast Five right?
No it’s not it’s actually my best getaway and this is more so because everyone relatively got away and there was a semi happy ending and that was looking lucky we mentioned it already
you know it was a great fucking movie
that’s already that’s a low key good getaway to
know they get away Yeah,
that’s important. That’s kind of a big thing for me like when I think back on heist movies most everybody on the team’s ends up dying and there’s usually like one or two people who really get caught or something yeah, exactly are they they pay a huge price but I feel like in Logan lucky they they got what they needed without giant sacrifice like a couple of them went to prison if I remember correctly.
Well yeah, but like one of them went to prison on purpose and the other ones already in prison. Yeah, so I mean these so I got him driver went to prison. Yeah, yeah. likely to go to prison and recruit
Daniel Craig. Yeah, to do the break the explosive expert to do the breakout like, right. You mentioned how their plan involved a ton of luck. And I think that’s what makes it even better. But the fact that they, they all get away they really genuinely succeeded. And and, and
they get away with it in a way that nobody thinks they got away with it because Channing Tatum like returns some of the money at the end. But it keeps a big chunk of it too. So like, and because it was like it was all cash transactions. Nobody knew how much was actually stolen from them. They were able to give a portion of it back and still be like, yep, you got what you needed. And we actually got what we needed and you didn’t even know. And another great thing about that getaway is not only does like Channing Tatum get away and be able to stash the money and whatever and his sister gets away and does whatever she needs to do. But Daniel Craig and Adam Driver they get away back to prison. Not only do they break out of prison, but they big back into prison as part of the getaway.
Well, yeah, the the plan succeeds. And I mean, those people seem like they, they were kind of structured in a way where they were. They were happier with less like, they didn’t need a giant score, but they wanted to be, you know, they wanted to be able to live their lives and not have to work 24 seven and barely, you know, be able to live right pay for anything.
You got to make it to his daughter’s show.
Yes. Which is always great. They had realistic wants, and they pulled off a crazy, super lucky heist. And they stuck to it instead of going bananas. And I think that that leads to the best getaway in my opinion.
All right. I mean, they weren’t dragging bank vault through the streets of Brazil. So it’s the second best getaway.
I mean, they could get away with that in Brazil. Not in America.
Not in Charlotte man. Not at the Charlotte Motor Speedway.
No. Fuck no. Let me see something like that going down, to be honest.
Oh yeah, I thought it was based on a true story. Not like I didn’t think it ever succeeded because that would have been a bigger story but I thought it was like one of those things that it was like the idea was there like somebody had the idea to try and rob a, like a NASCAR race, but they got caught hilariously stupidly before it even started, so they just made a movie like what would have happened if they succeeded. I didn’t realize that it was like all completely falsified.
They call it Logan, unlucky. Unlucky
bastard. I thought it was one of those things where they’re like adapting something that kind of actually happened, but not quite. But now. That brings us to the final part of heist movie. The most important for the characters, at least. Let’s talk about the score. What is your best score? That score
you know, this guy I had to sacrifice a lot.
He went through a lot of bullshit, but he ended up in the best position in my opinion. He ended up with oil wells, his family farm like he’s in a good position and he’s basically off scot free. And that’s Toby fucking Toby from hell or high water 2016 Yeah, the Scranton strangler. No Chris Pine Have you ever seen hello hello hi
wide and say hello hi water,
You know, him and his brother.
They got a family farm and they’re going to lose it and they end up starting to rob banks and they pull a big a big score to you know, their their home is going to get foreclosed on but they know oil is on the property. So it’s like okay, we got to pay off this foreclosure or pay off so we don’t go into foreclosure so we can reap the benefits of the oil. And that’s kind of when they they end up pulling a couple bank highs his brothers gets killed, which sucks or whatever, obviously. Yeah. But he ends up being able to pay off all the loans. It can’t be traced to him. And he’s basically a oil Baron now rich as fuck, everything’s all taken care of. And his brother was a dick anyway, so that’s the best score in my opinion, because it’s all legal money. It’s like fucking liquid legal gold.
What’s up what they paid his farm off with?
bank money. Yeah, so it’s all free money. But his brother was kind of a piece of shit.
Yeah, well, brothers do that from time to time.
Was brother killed a couple people and he was not down with that.
Somebody’s always gonna fuck up the plan. Seriously,
that’s how it always go. Someone’s gonna be a dick.
I had a hard time on this because I picked all the good movies that like came to my mind already. Mm hmm. I was gone in 60 seconds.
Damn, that is a bad
Unknown Speaker 40:59
move. What a good pic.
Yeah, they steal 50 cars within 72 hours almost all last one doesn’t get there quite in time just but they still pull it off and they don’t actually get to keep the car so like maybe it’s not a great score for them but like the score is good even though they don’t it’s not their score necessarily.
Yeah, they’re not just any car 50
high end cars you know that’s that’s solid work there. Let me go ahead Lee. Yeah, looking good. She’s looking real good. That’s a good score for Nick Cage to there
seriously with it. He’s already got the receding hairline and everything. And
that might be that might be the better score of the movie. But he ends up not getting cars but he gets influentially
Unknown Speaker 41:45
There you go. That’s the best score if you would have picked
the best pic of any pic we’ve ever I
mean, it still fits. Like I really wanted to go fast five because I get 100 million dollars or whatever but like the getaway is better than the score and Fast Five That you can’t like there’s no way
Yeah, I changed I changed my pic from here on out I choose Angelina Jolie.
I’ll take that over a ton of cash.
But yeah, just being able come away with 50 cars in two and a half days like that’s pretty amazing and skillful and like somebody gets to reap the reward out of that.
Yeah, you’re not sleeping to get that done. And stealing the hours I imagined is not fucking easy.
No, absolutely not. And that like that’s what I think ups the level of of the score here is the difficulty of it. Like you gotta it’s not only just getting money while nobody’s looking. You’ve got to get the car away and then keep the car away because cars can be found a lot easier than like a stack of hundreds can’t.
Yeah, I mean,
fuck yeah. Especially if you just don’t, in your case. You can’t launder a car. No, I mean, there’s certain that you could break it down at a chop shop, but that’s not
Yeah, I mean going Craigslist and probably trying to get rid of it pretty easily.
You know, quick man, you know that’s the first place cops look is Craigslist. They’re like, yeah, car got stolen. I’ll bet it’s on Craigslist.
All right, well don’t buy cars off Craigslist. That’s assault. Well, I mean,
Unknown Speaker 43:13
Don’t do that. Because going to jail is not tight.
No. So those are awards we gave out. Best team. Best Villain slash reason for the job, best plan. Best getaway and the best score. But we can’t leave you with a little bit extra to talk about starting with what is your favorite heist movie?
snatch hands down.
Wow, didn’t even win an award.
It technically fits in a heist movie because it’s more character interaction and like focus on the heist but the heist is the you know the stimulus that leads the movie.
So well and some movies are like one of my picks for favorite, like, I didn’t give it any awards because it doesn’t do anything best, but it’s super enjoyable. So I picked baby driver, which is more recent. But like, it doesn’t do any of the things that we’re giving our best, but it’s just super fun to watch from beginning to end you can jump in at any point, all the actors are Pitch Perfect and their portrayals of the characters even gross Kevin Spacey like I hate it but like he was really good but he’s a piece of shit.
Yeah, he’s pretty sure but he was very good really good actor Yeah. Seven fucking great movie.
Everything like there’s I mean I’m sure there’s some movies that are bad of his because he’s done a lot but like most the movies I’ve seen him in like I he’s engaging and like that’s probably why he was able to get away with being such a piece of shit for so long.
Yeah, I mean that that kind of leads the way but I never I’ve never seen baby driver no in come in full I’ve seen old like, I want to say probably 90% of the never.
But I couldn’t even tell you what the actual score from that movie is. I don’t even think there is one really. Like they get one early the team is not a good heist team at all. They’re all at each other’s throats all the time. You know, they get that there’s really good getaways because that’s what it’s about. It’s about the wheel man here. But my other my other pick for favorite is Ocean’s 11. Really, and 12 and 13. I like all three of them, not Ocean’s eight. I think Ocean’s 11 was the first heist movie I saw really was like a really great introduction to the genre, because every character and role on the team is perfect. I can’t really think of a single thing that I would replace in any of the three movies to make them better. Like I think they kind of one up themselves in a natural way and even like Ocean’s 12 is the worst but they do it in an interesting way where like the heist is done super early in the movie and everything else is subterfuge until they get to the end. And like, I don’t know, we stole that like a week ago, dude. Yeah. Explain the whole thing, where the and they’re all just extremely rewatchable, especially Ocean’s 11. And like, honestly, that’s what I’m looking for. When I see a movie and like a movie. It’s, am I gonna watch this? whenever it’s on TV? Right? Or, like, if I’m sitting there on a Saturday with nothing to do, and I’ve got two hours before my family comes home. What are the movies I’m picking from? And all three of these are in that consideration and baby drivers to now?
Yeah, I mean, I gotta watch a
start to finish. Gotcha. So,
that kind of leads us into what makes a great heist movie though.
Yes. And we had Twitter poll on that today. We do. The Twitter poll is actually what’s the best part of a heist movie, but it kind of same thing. We could we can throw that in there. Yeah. Um, so So what’s the best part of the heist movie Getting the team together won the poll 35 and a half percent get away came in second with 32.3% the score 29% and then other 3.2% because like those are the only three things that you really need a heist movie. I think that’s why we didn’t get a lot for other
Well, that makes you know, the majority of the ice we might be a romance in there
that somebody sucks up the plan that you gotta throw that in. Yeah, there’s which I mean that at Alamo, Lauren, she says the plan is the best part which I agree, her commenting that made me change one of the categories to include the plan because that is an important part. And then the talking heads footy podcast at TT h f podcast. If I have Ocean’s 11 as example the getting the team together was good. But the training and the score were epic. I always think training goes with the plan, like the training montage and the plan montage are usually the same thing. I agree. And then he says or if you looked at entrapment, the training and the ending were the best bits. So I’ll go for prep overall which you know that goes with the plan.
Yeah. So thank you to you to those guys who participated we do polls every week at APA something on Twitter and you can always talk to us on Twitter at APA something and at alone underscore podcast but if you participate in a poll, we will shout you out on the show.
Please do because we like when you guys talk to us and we’re like talking Yeah,
yeah. And we like talking. Yes podcast.
Yeah, his podcast usually goes for more
than an hour. So what makes a great heist movie in your mind?
It’s multiple a multitude of things
like I think they have have to have like a good reason to perform the highest I think it has to be reasonable like relatively that’s kind of why Logan lucky didn’t necessarily when my favorite heist movie
I provide like that’s not a believable like that they would get away with that.
Exactly. And I mean, I prefer I really like like logical highest like the way you describe it inside my I think that makes a perfect heist. Like, I’m guessing Not a lot of people got killed. They use, no one got killed. Exactly. They use minimal violence. It’s more of a mind game than anything, right? That’s kind of what leads to my favorite kind of heist movies, because when it’s just like he a ton of fucking people die. And I think that just, that’s more so an easy way out like, you know, it’s just
it’s an easy way out. And it’s it’s an easy way to give you an emotional investment rather than like actually having to invest in the characters. They say, Oh, well this guy’s friend died so now you want him to get away with it. But like in oceans, you want them to get away with it because they’re likable team of dudes that like are going against unlikable dudes, right? Like, yeah, and he is unlikable the the French guy and the second one is unlikable, and then we go back to Al Pacino and Andy Garcia and the third one, they’re unlikable, and that’s part of what the problem with Ocean’s eight was is there wasn’t like This villain, like they were just stealing for the sake of stealing. There wasn’t like a reason behind it other than they liked stealing.
Yeah, I want stuff. So I’m gonna steal this.
Right? I Yeah, I agree. It’s pretty much all of the things that we talked about. I think the team is the most important part like they have to have good chemistry and it has to be believable that these guys or girls would work together. Yeah, then they also have to have like their eventual falling out where like two or more of them disagree on something that part has to be believable to. And then they eventually get back together. Like it’s all very formulaic, but it’s fun to watch those things happen. If you’re invested in who the characters are. And then like, like you said, the villain slash reason for the job that’s really important. That’s probably second to who the team actually is. Because as I said before, the heist team is only as good as their reasoning 100% if if they don’t have a good reason to do it, that I don’t care that they get away with the heist, I’d probably rather see them get caught. Hundred percent. They’re just like, oh, there’s something over there. That’s like, I’m bored. Let’s do this. Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington to guns, not not a great heist movie, and they like seeing that movie. It’s not very good. And they just they just like, want something because they want all this money. They’re not the person they’re sitting only problem is just the bank, there is just the bank that’s in their town. They’re just stealing it to steal it. So they have money. There’s no real like, drive behind them.
Yeah, I want to be rich son, some of us steal all his money. Now I gotta say, my kid, or you know, my family or my fucking family home from being foreclosed on.
Right? The plan, like the plan has to be good. But ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Because the plan is going to fail until you realize that the plan failing was always part of the plan to begin with. So the plan actually succeeds because you meant to fail because that was part of the plan the whole time. And like, you know, that they’re going to get away with it, because you’re watching like they’re the protagonists of that movie. You know, they’re going to get there. score. So like everything that happens between the plan and I’m actually getting away doesn’t really matter
I don’t agree with that to a certain extent
but the planning scenes are fun to watch usually Oh, of how are we going to pull this off? Oh yeah dude 100% and then the getaway and like the score reveal or how they got away with it revealed those are usually like really exciting bits. But again, they don’t really matter. Because we know they’re going to get whatever they’re stealing the fun is in the build up and the Fallout and what goes wrong all that kind of stuff? Not Okay, you got your $10 million. Great.
Did we miss any categories while we went through this?
I think we mentioned a couple but they are escaping me at the moment.
Yeah, we said like the best fuck up, which I don’t have anything off top my head. One that I wanted to talk about. It was originally one of our main categories, but it’s not as the best gimmick and with heist movies. Sometimes it’s not good enough to just be stealing stuff. They have to do it in like a crazier different way. So there’s good gimmicks out there like Ant Man, we got to steal something, but a guy can shrink, you know, and now so can the other guy he can shrink to. So now we’ve got a tiny heist. You got n game, you got a time heist in Avengers end game. He got Ocean’s 12, where they do the fake heist within the real heist, and then they reveal it all at the end. But my favorite is this movie called American animals. And this was based on a true story of like this art robbery at a college and they intermix the real people with the fictional retelling of it so like the show a couple scenes of the fictional telling with Evan Peters was the main character and he was really good in it. So chill couple scenes of that and then all of a sudden they’d be doing like a reality show solo interview type thing with one of the real guys that did it and like what their thinking was behind it are like what they thought the first time they met this other dude like, it was really cool how they brought that to Because the the heist that they pull out I don’t even know if they actually pulled it off or not. I guess they don’t because they got arrested. That wasn’t that exciting but mixing in the real people made it really like fun to
watch that that was dope as fuck.
Yeah, it’s a good movie watch American animals.
I’ll check that shit out. I like Evan Peters.
He’s Yeah, he’s does a really good job in it. And, and it’s just really cool how they mix the guys in and it’s almost like a dateline episode but with actual real Hollywood actors and production behind it when doing the retelling
kinda like Band of Brothers. I guess I never saw being brothers. Fantastic. Anyway,
like, I will never watch it, but I’ll take your word for it, bro. Yeah, sounds fantastic. It’s fair. It’s fair. So what is your favorite part of the heist movie? What part do you want to see the most when you’re like, all right, it’s a heist. I can’t wait to see what they do with blank the perhaps
Love her up. Like that’s kind of why I chose the town because I just, I think it’s so neat how they they methodically clean everything and and just, there’s no detail that’s been overlooked. And you know, rehearsing and working towards this, this plan, I think is really, really fascinating. So the prep is really what what gets me into a good heist movie like the playing can be awesome, but if I don’t see the prep leading up to it, then I just think the play that goes into
the actual plan
plan does matter. They can be outrageous, you know, it just comes across as outrageous like, if I didn’t see the prep in the town, that getaway scene would have looked outrageous as fuck, but it’s like, right I understand how these guys are getting away with these crimes because of their prep. I’m soon. So that’s what really does it for me in a heist movie.
I’ll give you that. And again, another great chance for a montage with the prep anywhere you can throw a montage in like I’m there.
Which brings me to my favorite part which is Getting the gang together seeing like going out finding everyone. What’s this guy good at? Why haven’t we spoken in 10 years, all that stuff like, give me all of that and like, let’s see how they interact. If you’ve got a good team, if you got to shoot him, then I then I don’t care. But the other part is like the reveal of how they got away with it. And that is more just towards the oceans movies, because they always have a really great way of like, showing that reveal. Have you thought we were doing this? But we actually did this because they always have this little bit of
Unknown Speaker 56:31
what am I trying to say? Mr. Actually,
given this direction, right?
That’s exactly how or if they get away,
right? It always looks like they’re they’re stopped and you know, Benedict’s got them right where they want them like do really though and then it like rewinds you know, 10 minutes or whatever and shows what actually happened.
Yeah, I love I love when that happens. It’s super fun.
Yeah. And that you get kind of the same thing, that kind of same kind of scene Inside Man, which is another reason why that’s on the top of my list of one of the better heist movies of like I like it like you know Logan lucky baby driver those movies present to you exactly what’s going on the whole time and that’s kind of fun to watch just linearly how it’s going down. But I like this like let’s see what really happened Fast Five is another one that does it when the rock discovers the vault they left him was empty. They were wind everything and show how they actually got the vault with the money. So I always like when that happens. Yeah, that’s usually a lot of fun. Anything else on heist movies? I think that’s it on heist movie. I’m waiting for the next best one. I love heist movies. One of my top three genres probably
we usually get a good super good one like every five to 10 years. Yeah.
And even like bad ones are usually still pretty enjoyable like takers was like not a waste of two hours when you watch like it’s not a good movie, but like it had some fun fun in it.
Yeah, I mean, as long as you can have some fun, I’m game for that.
Exactly. Alright, so that’s all we got. Thank you for listening. Again, follow us on Twitter at APA something at alone underscore podcast. I Right both times
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