Can’t Miss Picks – NFL Week 7

By Kalvin H

Week 6 Record: 1-2-0

Overall Record: 10-8-0

Week 6 was another rough one, but at least I came out with one win this time to hold on to a winning record for the season. It wasn’t only a weird week for bets but also the football games were weird. High scoring games from Indianapolis and the Giants, Tennessee needing overtime and two last minute drives to cover against Houston (maybe Romeo Crennel isn’t so bad? (Haha just kidding he totally is)), and Arizona blowing out the Andy Dalton led Cowboys (ok maybe this one isn’t so weird). In my 3 Yahoo fantasy football leagues with standard rosters, by the end of Sunday’s games I had a total of 3 Touchdowns between all of my offensive players. That’s insane! I’m very good at managing a fantasy football roster because I usually go for consistent players rather than high ceiling low floor players. 3 touchdowns out of probably 15 players on all of Sunday. Week 6 was weird, is what I’m trying to say. The biggest story out of week 6 (but really week 7) is that it’s Tua Time in Miami when they come out of their bye. This had to have been the plan all along, right? Fitzpatrick has been playing really well and not in a way where you’d be ready to bench him and they’re still technically in the hunt to win the AFC East with Buffalo floundering, the Jets being the Jetsiest they’ve been in 10 years, and New England trying to play with a QB who hasn’t been able to move for the past 2 weeks. I would love to see Miami and Tua in the playoffs, he is so good at football and I can’t wait to watch him, but let’s not jump out of the gates too fast with betting on them. There’s a small chance he could be a disaster (in the sense that any rookie can be a disaster for myriad reasons), so let’s let him get a couple of games under his belt before we start throwing money at Dolphins games. Week 7 has another strange slate of spreads and it’s been really hard to pin down what Vegas thinks is going to happen in some of these games and why they would think that, so instead of over-analyzing it, let’s just get to this week’s picks.

Tennessee (+1.5) vs Pittsburgh

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Episode 127 – A Podcast About Slasher Movie Superlatives

Welcome to primetime podcasting…..b!+#h! Oh, what a wonderful one-liner from an awesome and beloved genre of film, the Slasher movie!  So synonymous with the holiday (for some reason….) with an iconic history behind them to boot, and of course ‘tis the month of fright in the night, we couldn’t help but pass out some awards! Best kill, final girl, near miss, terrifying scenario, and of course the best slasher all make an appearance along with their respective “sucklatives,” and just like that opening line, we throw out some deep cuts (get it?)! Luckily for this stab-tastically spectacular slasher Halloween, we have some fellow podcasters to share in the nostalgia and fear, distributing both awards and one-liners of their own. Thanks to Ryan L. Terry, Bring on the Weird Podcast, The Amazing World of Talkin’ Shiz Podcast, Stories of Yore and Yours, and The Average Joe Comic Show for joining and passing out some awards!

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Can’t Miss Picks – NFL Week 6

By Kalvin H

Week 5 Record: 2-1-0

Overall Record: 9-6-0

It feels good to be back on the plus side after an abysmal week 4, and now hoping to carry that momentum into week 6. I’m not sure we learned a lot of new stuff in week 5, so I’m going to instead use this space to mostly talk about the NBA Bubble Finals. But first, I just want to have these few things on record: do NOT fuck with Russell Wilson and the Seahawks, no lead is safe and he is campaigning hard for his MVP this year, it’s best to stay out of his way (I’m talking about for opposing teams, absolutely bet on Russelll and the Seahawks); Tennessee is a very versatile team and with the return of AJ Brown, they are going to be a force to be reckoned with in the AFC; Kansas City showed they can bleed against Las Vegas in week 5, but don’t go counting them out just yet, Vegas exploited some weaknesses but fully expect KC to plug those holes immediately and come back stronger than ever in week 6 in Buffalo (this is a good game to put in teasers, I wouldn’t go straight up against the spread on it because Buffalo has had two weird COVID weeks in a row now and KC’s prep schedules may be thrown off by it, but if you can get this game down to 3 points or less for KC, do it). Let’s take a minute now to talk about the Lakers and what it could mean for the NFL. I picked the Lakers when the bubble (remember in the first week of the bubble Adam Silver made sure all the announcers referred to it as “the campus” and also pointed out that it was the official name, and then instantly “bubble” became so ubiquitous that hey just like “fuck it, I guess it’s a bubble now,” that was fun) officially started and there was never a doubt in my mind throughout the NBA playoffs that they were going to pull it out. The Lakers showed time and again that the team with the most talent is going to come out on top when everything else is stripped away. Lebron James felt like he was 25 again and at the top of his game and not in his 17th season and the twilight of his career. The Heat gave a good fight, but at the end of the day they just weren’t good enough to contend with Lebron James and Anthony Davis and *checks notes* Rajon Rondo and **double checks notes** Alex Caruso and ***triple checks notes*** Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and ****one final glance at notes**** a Morris twin. The point is that Lebron James and Anthony Davis are good enough to bring any supporting cast to the Finals (James has also shown throughout his career that he could carry a team of literal rotting carcasses to the Finals if he needed to), and in a playoff scenario where prep time and daily routines are abnormal and home court advantage doesn’t exist, the most talented players on the court are going to be the most talented and win. I don’t think there should be an asterisk next to this Championship, they won it out right, every other team contended with the same adversity as the Lakers, there is a good chance they were going to be in the Finals regardless of how the season progressed, the only disadvantage they would have had in a regular playoff scenario is that Miami would have had 3 home games, it’s legitimate, raise the Larry O’Brien. What does this mean for the NFL season? It means the Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl again and their first loss to the Raiders shouldn’t matter, because at the end of every day they have the most talent on the field in any match-up and they have the best player on the planet in Patrick Mahomes. The Raiders game was a classic trap game, Gruden and the Raiders over-prepared for the Chiefs knowing they’re the best team in the league and the Chiefs were coming off of a hard fought win on Monday night (after a COVID scare and several changes to their plans) with a short week to prepare. The Raiders are not better than the Chiefs, no one is better than the Chiefs, put as much money as you’re comfortable with on the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl because it’s going to happen. Let’s get to the week 6 picks!

Carolina (-1.5) vs Chicago

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Episode 126 – A Podcast About Trick or Treating

Halloween month continues as Nick and Kalvin discuss adventures in Trick or Treating. We begin with the history of knocking on strangers’ doors and demanding candy or else. We continue with our favorite costumes, candies, and decorations our childhoods and some of our favorite experiences with our own children so far. Grab a bag of Skittles or Reese’s cup (but not Reese’s holiday shapes) and join in on the Halloween fun!

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A Blog About Movie Plot Holes That Actually Aren’t

By Kalvin H

The term “plot hole” gets thrown around a lot today and it’s really starting to get annoying. The term has lost all sense of meaning and I think it’s time we set the record straight on what should and should not qualify as a plot hole. A plot hole should be a legitimate logical inconsistency within a piece of work. Nowadays people tend to throw the term at anything that they don’t like or they are too dumb to extrapolate on their own without having it spoonfed to them by the creators. Movies, books, TV shows, and other forms of storytelling don’t have all the time in the world to explain every little detail (unless you’re George R.R. Martin), so they sometimes have to rely on their audience to make certain logical leaps when consuming them. We’re going to take a look at 3 infamous so-called plot holes from movies and show that, maybe just because you didn’t understand something, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t all there for you to understand (you sometimes have to do some work while consuming media, that’s what makes it fun! If you don’t use your brain at all, you might as well just watch reality TV).

Independence Day (1996) – Interfacing with the alien mothership  

 

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Can’t Miss Picks – NFL Week 5

By Kalvin H.

Week 4 Record: 0-3-0

Overall Record: 7-5-0

Oh, how the mighty fall! Week 4 was bad, but I’m still ahead in the win column and I need to rebound. It wasn’t just bad just for my picks, but my fantasy teams did poorly, and the NFL in general seems to be struggling with COVID. Week 4 had two postponed games, the Pittsburgh vs Tennessee game was moved to a later week, and Kansas City vs New England was postponed for only a day before the spread could really be assessed. It was nice to have that KC vs NE game on Monday night to accompany the snoozer of Green Bay vs Atlanta, but what was the real cost? Cam Newton was the first to test positive, and no other players or staff had tested positive before the game Monday, but early today it was released that Stephon Gilmore has tested positive as well. Gilmore played in the game Monday night and thus exposed not only his own team but Kansas City’s players as well. What does that mean for the Chiefs? No one has tested positive yet, but COVID can take a few days to manifest and produce a positive test, so the fall out is still truly unknown. In the meantime, two more Tennessee players have tested positive this week and they are in jeopardy of having another postponed game. What can the league do to stop this? It’s going to be hard to contain within a team, they’re with each other too much and if they don’t get practices in because they’re trying to distance, that’s going to be detrimental to their team’s ability to play in the game, from a physical ability standpoint as well as a preparation standpoint. I think the league needs to go ahead and add in a “Week 18” to the schedule, and right now it just stands as an extra bye week for all teams before the playoffs, but for any team that has to postpone games due to positive cases, it would stand as a makeup game week (they may even need two weeks for this, for teams that would need more than one make up game). Then if there are any positive cases within a team, their game is automatically postponed to Week 18, no more of this “well let’s quarantine the one player and wait to see if it spreads further.” It’s going to spread, postpone the game, isolate the players and staff from each other for a week to assess the spread within the team while testing everyone, and then resume practice as normal the following week with only the uninfected team members. Why are we just assuming that it’ll be ok, and that one positive test will stay one positive test? It’s been shown time and time again that’s not how this virus works, if you’re in close proximity to someone who is infected, there is a good chance you will be infected. It wouldn’t be hard for the NFL to create a new week in the schedule and push back the playoffs, they dominate the sports landscape at that time anyways. An extra week means extra revenue for the networks and potentially the teams. It’s easy, but the NFL and Roger Goodell are stubborn, they’re not going to admit that they didn’t prepare properly and fix the situation now that it’s starting to spiral, they’re going to press through until a player dies from COVID, then maybe they’ll think about maybe changing something. Damn, I didn’t go into this thinking I would rant about NFL COVID protocols, but here we are. I don’t have much to say about last week;s games anyways, they were mostly bad and my picks were worse, so without further ado and in the immortal (paraphrased) words of Bill Belichick, “We’re on to Week 5!”

Arizona (-7) @ New York Jets

The Jets are very bad. Arizona has had a couple of bad games and are going to be looking to bounce back. There is no better team to bounce back against than the Jets. Expect Kyler Murray to dice up this very shaky Jets defense and to walk away with at least a two score win. This may be the easiest pick of the week. 

Seattle (-7) vs Minnesota

Minnesota got their first win in week 4 against a floundering Houston team (more on them later), but that doesn’t mean they’ve turned their season around by any stretch of the means. Russ will continue to cook against a Minnesota defense that has been absolutely torched all season. Watch for DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett to have huge games here. Minnesota has a very potent offense that may be able to keep pace for a little while in Seattle, but at the end of the day Russ will head to the kitchen and pull away in the 4th quarter.

Cleveland (+1.5) vs Indianapolis

I’ve been burned by Indianapolis at least 6 times already this year, but I am going to keep going back to it. I have no faith in this team whatsoever. They are no fun to watch, Phillip Rivers is a check down king, and if it’s my lot in life to be continually burned betting against them, then so be it. I cannot in good faith bet on Indianapolis to win anything (until they play the Jets). Cleveland showed some signs of life in Week 4 against Dallas. The loss of Nick Chubb didn’t slow them down at all and that trend should continue against Indy (but watch out for a huge let down from OBJ in Week 5; if he’s on your fantasy team, now would be a great time to go fishing for a trade before he scores 5 points this week). Cleveland should be good enough to beat this Indianapolis team, so I’m taking the home underdog again here. 

BONUS TEASER – 6 points – Houston (PICK) vs Jacksonville/Dallas (-4) vs NY Giants

Houston finally fired Bill O’Brien. Fully expect a win against Jacksonville this week buoyed by some fresh air and then for the team to come back to earth in the following weeks. 6 points is way too much, though. They’re not a good enough team from top to bottom to beat anyone by a touchdown. Bill O’Brien had almost every job in Houston and he was terrible at all of them, this team is a wreck on and off the field (personnel wise) and is going to be difficult to rebuild, luckily they have some good pieces to start with in Deshaun Watson and JJ Watt. The Giants are the only team that may be as bad or worse than the Jets. Dallas should run away with this one here, but it’s hard to bet on a 10+ point spread for a team that has gotten blown out in the first halves of their last two games. This was the perfect opportunity to tease.

Come back every Wednesday for more “Can’t Miss Picks” and for even more from Kalvin, check out A Podcast About Something on your favorite podcast app or follow on twitter @APASomething

Episode 125 – A Podcast About Selective Listening – Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Tis’ the season to get spooky! What better way to break in October than with one of our awesome Selective Listening episodes? For this round Kalvin and Nick are going to break down, line by line, one of the best (of admittedly few) Halloween songs: The Monster Mash! For a month dominated by the likes of ghouls (wtf are those?) ghosts, vampires and other creatures of the night our song is rather fitting! You’ve heard Monster Mash a million times, at least 4 every time you step into a store during the month of October, but have you ever really ‘heard’ it? That’s why we’re here, to bring out the little details of this morose tune. With snippets of what’s to come in the month of October this is an episode you don’t want to miss.

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Can’t Miss Picks – NFL Week 4

By Kalvin H

Week 3 Record: 3-0-0

Overall Record: 7-2-0

WHOOOOOO!!!! My first 3-0 week! Week 3 seemed very easy, almost too easy and I’m hoping I don’t experience a huge let down in Week 4. In past seasons, it’s been difficult to hit perfect weeks so early because teams are still trying to find themselves and you think a team is good or bad, but really they’re not. In the 2020 season, though, it’s very easy to tell who is good and who isn’t and with limited preparation things will likely stay the way they are. You can really see the teams that focused on execution and making sure everyone was on the same page versus the teams that tried to have business as usual and didn’t change their preparation plans at all and thought once the ball is snapped, players will figure it out. The only team I’m lost on right now is New Orleans, on paper they should be much better. They are a team that is notorious for their preparation and they didn’t have too much roster or coaching staff turn over, but they have just looked slow over the past two weeks. Maybe Brees is actually washed (I don’t think so) or maybe the Michale Thomas’s absence has had a bigger effect than originally thought or maybe the defense is still trying to find its place or maybe it’s all three, I don’t know, but they definitely need to turn it around if they are going to fulfill my Super Bowl pick. The slate for week 4 is actually pretty difficult, there are a lot of bigger spreads that I’m not too sure of and some home underdogs (usually something great to lean into) that are shaky at best.

Chicago (+3) vs Indianapolis

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Episode 124 – A Podcast About Superhero Team-Up Movie Superlatives

It’s Morphin Time! Avengers Assemble! Mystery Men… uhhhh, be mysterious! The natural conclusion for most superhero movie sagas is the team-up movie, and with the ever expanding world of Super Hero cinema we have more teams than ever vying for our attention. Naturally, Kalvin and Nick have to hand out some awards to this rich genre! We’re back from our week off to dive into the world of Superhero team-up movies to settle once and for all who reigns supreme! Who’s got the best rivalry, the oh so important synergy, the baddest combo move or the power to wreck the cosmos? Some superlatives may be surprising, and on the opposite end we can’t help but pass out our sucklatives too!

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Patreon Bonus Release

This week Kalvin and Nick are on vacation, so we are opening up our vault of Patreon bonus episodes to the masses!
Now that our Patreon has been shut down, we would like to share all of that sweet bonus content with you our listeners. All week we will
be releasing Random Reviews and Pilot Projections compilation episodes on alternating days. You will be able to listen to our thoughts
on classic movies like “A Force of One”, “Puss in Boots”, “Toy Story 2” and much more. You’ll also hear our reactions to pilot episodesof various
TV Shows and how we thought each show would continue and if we like the idea. Shows include: “Breaking Bad”, “The Madalorian”, “Gargoyles” and more.
We will be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week, but in the meantime enjoy this bonus content!

Random Reviews

Pilot Projections